..that reminds me of the Ford Prefect I had in student days in Sydney. The fuel pump was just good enough to deliver on the flat but not up the steeper slopes. Stuck down near Maroubra Beach one hot summers surfing day . .. and in need of getting back up to university at Kensington . . .the brains trust cranked open the windscreen, attached a length of string to the little primer lever under the fuel pump then by rapid jiggling up the hills made it back for lunch. That car was only marginally better than the 1948 Hillman Minx with its frigging cable brakes, with its shot front suspension that caused the beam axle to iron out the peaks of the undulations in the back roads through the wilds of outlying suburbs of Perth WA. . . Ah youth's persistence in folly.

best graffiti in Oxford Street Paddo during the gay and lesbian mardi gras
RALPH COME BACK IT WAS ONLY A RASH

the one about crabs jumping six feet gets a mention in Arthur Affleck's (the very first RFDS pilot at Cloncurry in 1928) .. his autobiography THE WANDERING YEARS. He collected the inscriptions he encountered in many a hotel bathroom in pubs throughout the outback.. . PLEASE DON'T KANGAROO THE SEAT . . OUR BREED OF CROC CAN JUMP SIX FEET.

GENTLEMANS WHO PEE IN THE BATH AREN'T NO GENTLEMENS

A Qantas Constellation staging though Karachi to Darwin and Sydney had a snag in the maintenance log on arrival Darwin. It said URINAL HAS BEEN USED AS ARSENAL. The engineer in Darwin wrote it off with PROBLEM RECTUMFIED . (That one attributed to the late highly esteemed George Roberts. His book he called QANTAS BY GEORGE. George had little time or respect for the late 'Scotty' Allan of Qantas. Scotty's book was called SCOTTY ALLAN - AUSTRALIA'S FLYING SCOTSMAN. George was overheard to say when the book came out that it needed the 'F' deleted in FLYING.)

A post some time ago from a learned gent on Pprune regarding helicopters:


"Never fly in anything where the wings go faster than the fuselage."


Loved that :D

Chief pilot of a multi-engine piston fleet, when asked what it was like after his first hands-on helicopter flight:
'Like having a shave and a w**k at the same time.'
Absolutely true; I was there when it was said.

Three great posts in a row!
Thanks, chaps. :D

Expert #1 - A drip under pressure
Expert #2 - Someone who knows a great amount about a very small subject.
Experience - What you get just after you needed it.

"If it doesn't move and it should - WD 40"
"If it does move and it shouldn't - Duct tape"

If it flies, floats or f***s it's cheaper to rent.

At a very dull ground school course, with a very keen ground instructor.

Instructor: remember now, there's no "I" in team.

My mate: indeed, but there is an "A" in Tw@t.

Absolutely TT :)
In the mid 70's I had a very early MGB ragtop with a 3 bearing crank engine,returning from a winter party in norfolk,the dear old SU pump packs up but I knew that it would give a 'tick' when the ignition switched on - so on the 10 mile journey home we had a fun time with me driving one handed and switching ign off and on - of course the B had a lovely torquey engine and did not need to change gear very often :)

Stevef no. 224
Quality and so true

Heard over the N.Atlantic on the chat frequency.

Delta to Birdseed; What's your destination?

Birdseed: We are off to Nassau. We are going to lie on the sand and look at the stars. How about you?

Delta: Oh! We're going to LA. We are going to lie on the stars and look at the sand.

If wit were sh1t you would be constipated.

[very old one, even older than me]

And:

"How tall are you?"

"5'8""

"I didn't know they could stack sh1t that high!"

[probably even older]

langleybaston

Sincere apologies for my inappropriate post and offence caused. Post withdrawn.

Deanop ............ no worries!

I'm still scratching my head over that, too.
Anyway...

"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."

To a colleague on his undeserved [and amazing] promotion

"I suppose that I ought to congratulate you on your extreme good fortune"

Walks away, smirking .......................

This NCO (RAFP corporal) is depriving his dog of a promising career

Toilet graffiti NLS Kinloss

Free Hess! - underneath:- With every packet of Reich Krispies

I used to be dyslexic until I discovered Smoorniff

And on a Nav table scribble board:-
What's the difference between roger and willco?
On the underside:-
You can't willco the cat.

The bloke in the Flight Service Unit said my calls to him to check the radios first thing in the morning were 2 by 2 . When I asked him in person shortly after to please explain he said "Yeah mate . . . . too loud and too often."

old mate called up late in the afternoon to tell the Wagga FSU he was taxying for Hay (he was strictly VFR ) Wagga came straight back with " Will you make Hay while the sun shines?"

and this one probably aired here before -

instructor to student after nav-ex . .. . "the only time you were on track was when you were crossing it."

(and if that is not sufficient aviation content then I'm buggered for any sequel)

Sign over Harrier Engine Desk 4Sqdn-

IF WE CAN'T FIX IT THEN IT'S NOT BROKEN!

At one squadron we were not allowed to write "No Fault Found" so improvised with "Stick to to seat interface replaced".

Herc Job Card: 'Galley Sink Blocked'. Solution "DOG END REMOVED".