1. "Quick - Where did I see the Emergency Reboot Check List? Is it just Cntrl - Alt - Delete?"

2. "Looks like we may have to hand fly this thing! Do you remember how we used to do it?"

"Er, boss, I don't know quite how to tell you this but do you remember bootable floppies . . . ?"

"You got that helpline number handy?"

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y19...ndowsPanel.jpg

I'm glad I took out the 3 years RTB warranty. Anyone know where the original packaging is?

-or-

It all worked fine until we installed The Sims 2: Nightlife and iTunes to help us pass the time.

adr

"Welcome to the Dull Helplessline. Please press star to continue...."

*

"Thank you. In order for us to transfer your call to the most appropriate customer service representative, please listen to the following options. If your query concerns installation advice, please press 1. If your query concerns a sales or marketing question, please press 2. If you wish to listen to 15 minutes of 'Greensleeves', press 3. If you wish to talk to Guptur Ramjetsingh in Mumbai who has had all of 2 days training, please press 4. To hear these options again, please press 5. For all other queries, please press 0"

0

"Welcome to the Dull Helplessline. Please press star to continue...."

These are Computer type thingies, but...

"Remember the 747 SP? This is the 777 SP2"

"Could this be a follow on to the Gates Learjet?"

"Captain Smooth pushed the throttles through the firewall and then the World went blue"


and whilst on subjects that show me as a sad anorak without a life...


The Electric Light Orchestra have released a new song based on the old classic "Mr Blue Sky" It is called "Mr Blue Screen"


Conan

"For the last time, will you please stop playing Solitaire while I'm trying to fly the SID?"

"You know, at home when I called it the Blue Screen of Death I was being metaphoric, but up here..."

Airline crews discovered the hard way that Microsoft Flight Simulator isn't a very good autopilot.

FO, we need to reboot this aircraft! I'll hold the Mic. button down with the landing lights on while you go and press and hold down the "Flush" button in the rear loo.

"Hello Ops, this is Ascot 9999. We've got a bit of a problem -- can you just remind me how the manual reversion works?"

"The Computer crash was thought to be caused by a driver conflict and early attempts to resolve this included removal of the First Officers' yoke"


Conan

PS on the 'Pooter subject, there must be a yarn in here about UPS somewhere...

Blogg's decided that his mobile phone call to Cynthia promising her his undying love, could, on deep reflection, have waited till after he had landed.

"I told you before not to nudge the control column while you're playing that pinball machine game"

or

"They said they can fix it but we'll have to deliver it ourselves"

"Yes, I know the manual says carefully store the restore disk in a safe place, but I ...er... my wife has lost it"

"...so, how does this return to base warranty work, exactly?"

"Captain, it's the CSD here. I can't get that guy in 13B to stop using his mobile -- do you want to come and speak to him?"

With apologies to the band A-Ha....

Blue Screen
Blue Screeeeeeen
Blue Screen

I find it hard to breathe
and life just slips away....

:uhoh:

Now is the time to get your final bids for stardom in folks! A life of fame beckons, where you can forget strapping on a jet or Pay As You Dine for ever and start thinking Spandex and Supermarket openings!!!

Judging at 2000Z Sunday Oct 2.

------------------------------------------------------

From brochure

"The software has a look and feel of consistency throughout and is designed to enhance flight safety and crew awareness blah de blah, blah, blah" (carries on for ever)


regards to all,

Conan

"I don't care which windows you have broken, Riggers fix windows, not Fairies"

It was only later that they realised the iarcraft operated on the ill fated Sabena flight 1423 was registered as B-SOD