Zaps
The jag world was a small place, so often if a Jag was returning from RAFG to the UK or the other way around, often cryptic and damned right rude messages were written on the undercarriage doors and bays to people you knew, because often you would know who would be seeing the jets in.
Another favourite would be to colour in the breached dam on any visiting 617 jet. Crew generally wouldn't notice but phone calls later were common. I also recall when TWCU was 45(R) Sqn, their Griffin (?) insignia would often end up flying home with dayglo genitalia on display!
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As a matter of interest, does your Tornado have "FLAV is fat" or "Dave Yeeles is a big jobby" scrawled anywhere? GR groundcrew would regularly find these, bit of an inside joke.
Another favourite would be to colour in the breached dam on any visiting 617 jet. Crew generally wouldn't notice but phone calls later were common. I also recall when TWCU was 45(R) Sqn, their Griffin (?) insignia would often end up flying home with dayglo genitalia on display!
Another favourite would be to colour in the breached dam on any visiting 617 jet. Crew generally wouldn't notice but phone calls later were common. I also recall when TWCU was 45(R) Sqn, their Griffin (?) insignia would often end up flying home with dayglo genitalia on display!
Sorry no, ours (ex-617 Sqn) has a couple of USAF/USN zaps in the main u/c bay and some graffiti also there, saying IX(B) sank the Tirpitz!
Many moons ago at MPN, one of the SAR boys (Flt Lt L.. C........d) and I were returning to the accommodation from LOT22 ( 78 Sun bar). The aforementioned officer was very well oiled and as we passed the 1563Flt (F4) QRA Landy parked at the door he pointed to it and said in a slurred voice, ‘I will not paint that wagon yellow’....
Imagine my surprise when I emerged the following morning to see said vehicle’s immaculate battleship grey livery with red Maltese Cross insignia now sporting a vibrant yellow paint job.....including the tyres and windscreen (apart from a small slit for the driver) along with a significant portion of the parking space itself.
The MTO was apoplectic and OC Kerosene Kids was also very dischuffed. Remarkably though, despite extensive investigations by the feds the culprit was never caught. In fact despite the obvious association of the paint colour to another flying unit on the station not a single SAR boy was even interviewed.
LC, the best SH mate the SH force never had. Wherever you are L, we salute you!
Imagine my surprise when I emerged the following morning to see said vehicle’s immaculate battleship grey livery with red Maltese Cross insignia now sporting a vibrant yellow paint job.....including the tyres and windscreen (apart from a small slit for the driver) along with a significant portion of the parking space itself.
The MTO was apoplectic and OC Kerosene Kids was also very dischuffed. Remarkably though, despite extensive investigations by the feds the culprit was never caught. In fact despite the obvious association of the paint colour to another flying unit on the station not a single SAR boy was even interviewed.
LC, the best SH mate the SH force never had. Wherever you are L, we salute you!
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Other odd places I've seen squadron zaps include the tops of ski-lift pylons in France (presumably applied from the end of an outstretched ski pole) long before winter sports stickers became a 'thing', high on nightclub ceilings (thrown up on the back of a wallet?) and the roof of air show party tents (by skilled climbers of marquee poles). And there used to be an occasional sighting of an 'Advisory for Aircrew' or 'Advisory for Fast Jet Aircrew' sticker, in yellow and black with hatched edges to look like an emergency notice. My favourite instance of the latter was next to a 'Now wash your hands' notice in the gents' at RAF Valley Officer's Mess!
As with many other traditions of the 60s to 90s, zapping things other than aircraft seems to have died away over the last decade or so. The only exception I can think of is The Eagle pub in Cambridge, which has a rather more smartly applied collection, mainly USAF but also some civilian (e.g. Boeing test) and RAF, including the II(AC) Sqn 'Second to None' zap. In other places this one often used to be seen pen-amended to 'Second to One' or more rarely 'Second to Nine'...
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I don't know whether it counts as a zap but, a long time ago when Franco was being obnoxious and Hunters were sent to Gib, wasn't the resident Viscount marked up to show that its operator was YOGIBAIR?
Avoid imitations
Some Army Air Corps pilots (UK) used small gold coloured "zaps" declaring: "You are being flown by Teeny Weeny Airlines Taxy Service".
Avoid imitations
A certain infamous Puma pilot allegedly flow so low over a German zoo that the resident elephant had a heart attack, keeled over and died. Word soon went around. The next time he flew, there was an inverted dayglo elephant sticker on his cockpit door.
It appeared one evening in Base hangar, everyone had a lot of chuckles over it, most of the night shift trapsed over to see it, but in the daytime they were not amused and it was hastily change back. I doubt anyone had a camera with them in those days sadly....
There was also the French one... I think it was possibly the first repaint that was farmed out to Luton and it came back and everyone on the line knew something was not quite right, but it took a while before someone figured it out and noticed the tail flash had been added the wrong way round.... vive la France!
There was also the French one... I think it was possibly the first repaint that was farmed out to Luton and it came back and everyone on the line knew something was not quite right, but it took a while before someone figured it out and noticed the tail flash had been added the wrong way round.... vive la France!
Our Vulcan AEO had been at St Mawgan at the time of that infamous event and recounted the saga. It seems that it had been decided by Someone Senior, that HM's Mighty Hunters were no longer to look like airliners, but were to be painted in a rather more warry colour schem. 'Hemp' was about to become the fashionable colour of the day, so the order went out "Obtain paint ref. XXXXXX" and paint a Nimrod forthwith!".
Several hundred gallons of paint duly arrived. A wise old SNCO painter took one look and was surprised at the strange brown contents. So he rang someone further up the food chain "Sir, the paint wot has come doesn't look much like 'hemp'?".
"Right, leave it with me and I will check with Supply Wing"
"OC Supply here, how can I help - have you checked the ref. no.?" "Of course, sir, but Chiefy says that it's not exactly 'hemp', in fact it's a sort of, to put it politely, chocolate brown"
"Hmm, I will check with Group" "Ah, sir, OC Supply at St Mawgan here, the paint supplied for your Nimrod seems to be rather a strange colour"
"I know, it's called 'hemp'"
"But sir, Chiefy says that it doesn't look like 'hemp'"
"I AM A VERY SENIOR PERSON AND I KNOW ABOUT PAINT - STOP WASTING MY VALUABLE TIME AND PAINT THE BLOODY THING!"
And so it came to pass that the work began. "Maybe it'll change colour when it dries?" was the helpful suggestion.
It dried.
It didn't change colour.
To spare blushes, it never ventured further than wherever local training took it. But one fine day came the AOC's Inspection. The brown bomber was moved to the remotest part of the aerodrome, but even so The Man spotted it.
"WHAT, Station Commander, is THAT?"
"Nimrod, Sir!"
"I know it's a Nimrod, man, why is it that horrible colour?"
"Group told us to paint it, sir"
"Well paint it again, this time in the right colour!"
Which duly happened. But if only someone had listened to the wise old SNCO in the first place!
Several hundred gallons of paint duly arrived. A wise old SNCO painter took one look and was surprised at the strange brown contents. So he rang someone further up the food chain "Sir, the paint wot has come doesn't look much like 'hemp'?".
"Right, leave it with me and I will check with Supply Wing"
"OC Supply here, how can I help - have you checked the ref. no.?" "Of course, sir, but Chiefy says that it's not exactly 'hemp', in fact it's a sort of, to put it politely, chocolate brown"
"Hmm, I will check with Group" "Ah, sir, OC Supply at St Mawgan here, the paint supplied for your Nimrod seems to be rather a strange colour"
"I know, it's called 'hemp'"
"But sir, Chiefy says that it doesn't look like 'hemp'"
"I AM A VERY SENIOR PERSON AND I KNOW ABOUT PAINT - STOP WASTING MY VALUABLE TIME AND PAINT THE BLOODY THING!"
And so it came to pass that the work began. "Maybe it'll change colour when it dries?" was the helpful suggestion.
It dried.
It didn't change colour.
To spare blushes, it never ventured further than wherever local training took it. But one fine day came the AOC's Inspection. The brown bomber was moved to the remotest part of the aerodrome, but even so The Man spotted it.
"WHAT, Station Commander, is THAT?"
"Nimrod, Sir!"
"I know it's a Nimrod, man, why is it that horrible colour?"
"Group told us to paint it, sir"
"Well paint it again, this time in the right colour!"
Which duly happened. But if only someone had listened to the wise old SNCO in the first place!
Many moons ago at MPN, one of the SAR boys (Flt Lt L.. C........d) and I were returning to the accommodation from LOT22 ( 78 Sun bar). The aforementioned officer was very well oiled and as we passed the 1563Flt (F4) QRA Landy parked at the door he pointed to it and said in a slurred voice, ‘I will not paint that wagon yellow’....
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Well remember a Det to Mildenhall in late-1970s when the Brit contingent got at CINCSAC's VC-135 and replaced the red centre of the fuselage stars and bars with a sticker announcing that the vehicle was "stolen from Willhire Van Rentals". Almighty sense of humour failure and witch hunt followed with the Brits assuming their best "What us guv" approach. We heard later that CINCSAC was quite amused by the zap but wondered how the Brits had circumvented the armed guards.
In the same way, were not your much vaunted (and never in the right bloody place) VC10s painted in hemp?
