Originally Posted by
Speedywheels
....or the turd brown Nimrod?
Our Vulcan AEO had been at St Mawgan at the time of that infamous event and recounted the saga. It seems that it had been decided by Someone Senior, that HM's Mighty Hunters were no longer to look like airliners, but were to be painted in a rather more warry colour schem. 'Hemp' was about to become the fashionable colour of the day, so the order went out "Obtain paint ref. XXXXXX" and paint a Nimrod forthwith!".
Several hundred gallons of paint duly arrived. A wise old SNCO painter took one look and was surprised at the strange brown contents. So he rang someone further up the food chain "Sir, the paint wot has come doesn't look much like 'hemp'?".
"Right, leave it with me and I will check with Supply Wing"
"OC Supply here, how can I help - have you checked the ref. no.?" "Of course, sir, but Chiefy says that it's not exactly 'hemp', in fact it's a sort of, to put it politely, chocolate brown"
"Hmm, I will check with Group" "Ah, sir, OC Supply at St Mawgan here, the paint supplied for your Nimrod seems to be rather a strange colour"
"I know, it's called 'hemp'"
"But sir, Chiefy says that it doesn't look like 'hemp'"
"I AM A VERY SENIOR PERSON AND I KNOW ABOUT PAINT - STOP WASTING MY VALUABLE TIME AND PAINT THE BLOODY THING!"
And so it came to pass that the work began. "Maybe it'll change colour when it dries?" was the helpful suggestion.
It dried.
It didn't change colour.
To spare blushes, it never ventured further than wherever local training took it. But one fine day came the AOC's Inspection. The brown bomber was moved to the remotest part of the aerodrome, but even so The Man spotted it.
"WHAT, Station Commander, is THAT?"
"Nimrod, Sir!"
"I know it's a Nimrod, man, why is it that horrible colour?"
"Group told us to paint it, sir"
"Well paint it again, this time in the right colour!"
Which duly happened. But if only
someone had listened to the wise old SNCO in the first place!