You know you have become a third rate Air Force when....
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You know you have become a third rate Air Force when......
When your annual Yearbook contains more pages of adverts than it does articles on the RAF.
When your annual Yearbook contains more pages of adverts than it does articles on the RAF.
Last edited by NutLoose; 18th Apr 2013 at 11:30.
Originally Posted by ACW599
I don't want to hijack the thread but when did the RAF succumb to the massive over-use of wankwordage and why? Did it creep in with civilianisation? Is it formally taught as part of what used to be called "Service Writing" at IOT nowadays? If so, why? Does the RN and Army have the same problem?
I remember picking up a senior officer at the AWC for saying, "Others may not have had visibility on it." What does that mean?
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
And PIs - do you still have performance indicators?
We had 3 IIRC - economy, efficiency and something else. Our airship could then be presented with a set of number - decimal numbers below one AFAICR.
Now it came to pass in the December when the RAF was gearing up to its first war of the decade and simultaneously enjoyed a 3-week peace dividend holiday (go figure) that our efficiency score was low (big number?) as we had few flying hours and failed to reach our target flying rates. However our economy rating was superb. Our POL consumption figures were excellent, heating, lighting and water usage was similarly very low too.
Go figure.
We had 3 IIRC - economy, efficiency and something else. Our airship could then be presented with a set of number - decimal numbers below one AFAICR.
Now it came to pass in the December when the RAF was gearing up to its first war of the decade and simultaneously enjoyed a 3-week peace dividend holiday (go figure) that our efficiency score was low (big number?) as we had few flying hours and failed to reach our target flying rates. However our economy rating was superb. Our POL consumption figures were excellent, heating, lighting and water usage was similarly very low too.
Go figure.
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For those that aspire to great things at high level both in the Military and Civvy Street ...
I give you the ...
Management Wankword Generator
Use at least three times a day and strategically use output in all firms of communication ... especially when interacting with your superiors
I give you the ...
Management Wankword Generator
Use at least three times a day and strategically use output in all firms of communication ... especially when interacting with your superiors
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Management Wankword Generator
It was written by a Canadian journalist who had been reporting on a politician, during his election campaign.
He realised that in his (long) speeches the guy didn't actually say anything meaningful.
Picking out meaningless words the guy had used, the journalist came up with a three column list of about thirty of these words. By inserting any one word from columns 1, 2 and 3 at various points in a sentence, transformed the sentence into an impressive but meaningless phrase.
The practice has been around for a long time!
Originally Posted by PN
And PIs - do you still have performance indicators?
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Courtney, I hope I have broadened your wankword database continuum.
Marcantilian, regrettably that was no joke. I once read an invitation for LGBT which appeared absolutely ideal as I ran a bombing range. I contacted our local armourers when confusion reigned as there was no such training.
Only later did we discover what it referred to as there had been no sexplicit information in the invitation.
Marcantilian, regrettably that was no joke. I once read an invitation for LGBT which appeared absolutely ideal as I ran a bombing range. I contacted our local armourers when confusion reigned as there was no such training.
Only later did we discover what it referred to as there had been no sexplicit information in the invitation.
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The staffing of publicly displayed information gets a bit iffy.....
from the RAF Waddington air show website....
ROYAL AIR FORCE
ROYAL AIR FORCE
- E3D Sentry 8 / 54(R) Sqn, RAF Waddington (S)
- Sentinel R1, 5(AC) Sqn, RAF Waddignton (S)
- Typhoon FGR4, 41(R) Sqn, RAF Coningsby (S)(P)
- Hawk TMk 1, 100 Sqn, RAF Leeming (S)(P)
- Tornado GR4 x3, 617 Sqn, RAF Lossiemouth (S)(P)
- Hawk T Mk1A, 208(R) Sqn, RAF Valley (S) (P)
- Typhoon FGR4 3(F) Sqn, RAF Coningsby, (S) (P)
- Typhoon FGR4 6 Sqn, RAF Leuchars (S) (P)
When LGB ceases to mean l@ser Guided Bomb, but Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual........
Some old boot and a shiny-faced zealot appeared on our squadron to deliver the ridiculous EO video and lecture. They waited in the crewroom and nosed through 'King and Country', which our resident humourist had amended to include suitable captions. Under a picture of an RAFP rozzer talking to a couple of black chaps in a Belize Defence Force Land.Rover was the caption "Your car, is it sir?".
"You see, you see - just the sort of prejudice we're trying to stop!", squeaked the idiot zealot.
"Well, just who do you think is having the pi$$ taken?", he was asked. "Can't you see it's the cop, not the lads in the wagon?".
It got worse in the brief, when they mentioned some ridiculous trophy to be awarded to the top 'visible ethnic minority' of the year. "Not so much Top Dog as Top W*g", someone quipped. "Hey - I'm an African who happens to be white", said our resident Yarp. "WTF is a 'non-visible' ethnic minority?".
The 2 pratts then quit the fix mumbling all sorts of complaints, but we weren't bothered again with another such cr@p session.
EO nonsense - I was given a certificate of completion and hunted high and low for a pink, fluffy frame in which to mount it.....
Last edited by BEagle; 21st Sep 2013 at 16:42.
BEagle I have it on good authority that a visit to Hobbycraft will provide you with all the components you need to fabricate a Pink Fluffy Frame
??
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LGBT
This has made me chuckle. Some of you who know me will not be suprised:
I applied to attend the LGBT forum one year. my application was turned down. I considered raising a grievence on grounds that I was being discriminated against. there was not a similar forum for us stright guys. As a P take I always had a supply of their leaflets on my desk that I had picked up on my visits to Main Building. I just fancied a few days in a 4* hotel in town (or brighton) on Her Maj! If I had been a bender I could have gone.
I came close to setting up my boss in preparing a management ballanced scorecard slide (Does that qualify for a wankword?) the topic was parachute disposals. some will know we had Pink and Blue 28 ft utilities left over from Arneham to dispose of. I suggested we required a policy decision from the LGBT Forum to determine which ones should be retained. The answer should have been the Rayon ones but the cotton ones were easier to repack! Fortunatly or unfortunatly she was sharp enough to ask what the LGBT was and had the slide amended. we did have a laugh about it in the office. I think some of the Airships from Town, HW and ABW may have seen the joke. At the time I was desperate to give them an excuse to sack me! It took me almost a year after that.
Anyway if we go on as we are it will soon be compulsary.
I applied to attend the LGBT forum one year. my application was turned down. I considered raising a grievence on grounds that I was being discriminated against. there was not a similar forum for us stright guys. As a P take I always had a supply of their leaflets on my desk that I had picked up on my visits to Main Building. I just fancied a few days in a 4* hotel in town (or brighton) on Her Maj! If I had been a bender I could have gone.
I came close to setting up my boss in preparing a management ballanced scorecard slide (Does that qualify for a wankword?) the topic was parachute disposals. some will know we had Pink and Blue 28 ft utilities left over from Arneham to dispose of. I suggested we required a policy decision from the LGBT Forum to determine which ones should be retained. The answer should have been the Rayon ones but the cotton ones were easier to repack! Fortunatly or unfortunatly she was sharp enough to ask what the LGBT was and had the slide amended. we did have a laugh about it in the office. I think some of the Airships from Town, HW and ABW may have seen the joke. At the time I was desperate to give them an excuse to sack me! It took me almost a year after that.
Anyway if we go on as we are it will soon be compulsary.
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Courtney, I hope I have broadened your wankword database continuum.
Marcantilian, regrettably that was no joke. I once read an invitation for LGBT which appeared absolutely ideal as I ran a bombing range. I contacted our local armourers when confusion reigned as there was no such training.
Only later did we discover what it referred to as there had been no sexplicit information in the invitation.
Marcantilian, regrettably that was no joke. I once read an invitation for LGBT which appeared absolutely ideal as I ran a bombing range. I contacted our local armourers when confusion reigned as there was no such training.
Only later did we discover what it referred to as there had been no sexplicit information in the invitation.
