I Wish I Hadn't Said That ...
AR1:
Hagen Das is far far better.
Hagen Das is far far better.
At work in a meeting, I was commenting about an Account Manager that had positive dealings with and attempted to pay her a genuine compliment. I meant to say one of the following: 'she is ahead of the game' OR 'she is on the ball'. Unfortunately it came out as "yes, XXXXXX is on the game"...
As good as my entry! A long time ago, maybe even as a teenager, the conversation in our local cafe with my boss and the (female) cafe owner was concerning cameras. The subject of the conversation was the BOLEX camera, in my imagination, I was visualising the word letter by letter and I immediately uttered my thoughts as B*ll*cks. 
Nervous mate of mine temporarily unsure of position somewhere in Scotland....
Mate :"Practice pan, practice pan , practice pan, request training fix, etc, etc"
ATC : "roger ABC, transmit for DF"
Mate: " Errr, say again? "
ATC : " Never mind......you are 5 miles North of XXX"
Mate :"Practice pan, practice pan , practice pan, request training fix, etc, etc"
ATC : "roger ABC, transmit for DF"
Mate: " Errr, say again? "
ATC : " Never mind......you are 5 miles North of XXX"
Danny , similar but I was there ...
'' LHR ground , Shuttle PZ request start for Edinburgh ''
'Shuttle PZ we've got you planned for Glasgow '
'' Standby we'll ask the pax '' .........
''LHR ground from PZ , Pax say Edinburgh please '' .
Another embarrassment from around the turn of the millennium ,
Inbound to Lisbon from the North , downwind left hand for 03 .
ATC as usual keep us high 'n fast , then clears us for a visual .
Lovely young new lady co flying .
Me to be helpful ....
'' A++ , Just do a Stuka attack on that carrier in the bay , turn over it and you'll be on finals nicely '' .
Reply was a bit unexpected ......
''D+++ , You know I'm German ? ''
''No , actually , ........................I didn't ......... pull brakes out , close throttles , pop the gear , point at that 'Septic' and you'll turn on finals nicely '' .
'' Ok , Ja , that'll do it '' .
A brilliant gurl , started as a nanny in London , persuaded to apply for a cadetship , graduated , no job . So, back to Germany ; qualified as ATC in Dusseldorf . Returned to LHR when jobs picked up . Now a very well respected 777 Captain .
rgds dave f .
'' LHR ground , Shuttle PZ request start for Edinburgh ''
'Shuttle PZ we've got you planned for Glasgow '
'' Standby we'll ask the pax '' .........
''LHR ground from PZ , Pax say Edinburgh please '' .
Another embarrassment from around the turn of the millennium ,
Inbound to Lisbon from the North , downwind left hand for 03 .
ATC as usual keep us high 'n fast , then clears us for a visual .
Lovely young new lady co flying .
Me to be helpful ....
'' A++ , Just do a Stuka attack on that carrier in the bay , turn over it and you'll be on finals nicely '' .
Reply was a bit unexpected ......
''D+++ , You know I'm German ? ''
''No , actually , ........................I didn't ......... pull brakes out , close throttles , pop the gear , point at that 'Septic' and you'll turn on finals nicely '' .
'' Ok , Ja , that'll do it '' .
A brilliant gurl , started as a nanny in London , persuaded to apply for a cadetship , graduated , no job . So, back to Germany ; qualified as ATC in Dusseldorf . Returned to LHR when jobs picked up . Now a very well respected 777 Captain .
rgds dave f .
Sqn Ldr Ops sits down at a meeting between 2 WO's both of whom are follicaly challenged.
"Dear me its like sitting between 2 bum cheeks" he quips, and awaits the polite laughter.
Instead he got,
"Well guess what that makes you Sir" from one of the bum cheeks.
"Dear me its like sitting between 2 bum cheeks" he quips, and awaits the polite laughter.
Instead he got,
"Well guess what that makes you Sir" from one of the bum cheeks.
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Some years ago (mid 70s) I drew the short straw and had to show a senior RAF Supplier around part of the station at RAF Leuchars.
We walked past the 'Wash Hangar' where, inside, there was a sick Jaguar.
"That's a small Phantom," quoth SSO.
"No wonder we can't get the right parts," I foolishly responded.
It was a quiet walk back to the Mess.
We walked past the 'Wash Hangar' where, inside, there was a sick Jaguar.
"That's a small Phantom," quoth SSO.
"No wonder we can't get the right parts," I foolishly responded.
It was a quiet walk back to the Mess.
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SNCO controllers Straberry
After leaving the Queens flying club I was between jobs and tried my hand at the Strawberry JPs, I would have stayed but it became obvious the job was limited timespan
The course student age/experience levels varied and so as the training progressed we adjusted our inputs to the perceived student ending with dealers choice, ie be as awkward as you like to put pressure on student.
Very experienced SNCO controller nearing end of course
Strawberry approach papa 62, birdstrike engine trouble get me on the ground
papa 62 strawberry approach say your height and position
papa 62 you'v got a radar you find me
papa 62 I'll change frequency now, you have a radio you find me
Instructor, this is a waste of time isn't it
The course student age/experience levels varied and so as the training progressed we adjusted our inputs to the perceived student ending with dealers choice, ie be as awkward as you like to put pressure on student.
Very experienced SNCO controller nearing end of course
Strawberry approach papa 62, birdstrike engine trouble get me on the ground
papa 62 strawberry approach say your height and position
papa 62 you'v got a radar you find me
papa 62 I'll change frequency now, you have a radio you find me
Instructor, this is a waste of time isn't it
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Tinribs,
Off thread, but in my (first) time ('55) there, Marshalls' people were flying Chipmunks for the GCA School at Sleap.
Curiously, most of them were ex-FAA, and said that it was the only flying job you could get that only needed an "out of date driving licence". Any grain of truth in it ?
Danny.
Off thread, but in my (first) time ('55) there, Marshalls' people were flying Chipmunks for the GCA School at Sleap.
Curiously, most of them were ex-FAA, and said that it was the only flying job you could get that only needed an "out of date driving licence". Any grain of truth in it ?
Danny.
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I remember our Colonel, Paul J was at at a mess dinner, when after cigars, brandy, etc the topic became...'the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you'.
Straight away, our leader fessed up that his mother had once caught him wanking.
'That's not really embarrassing, said a fellow officer- happens to everyone'
'What, yesterday?.........
Straight away, our leader fessed up that his mother had once caught him wanking.
'That's not really embarrassing, said a fellow officer- happens to everyone'
'What, yesterday?.........
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The new Hawk T1 sim at Valley required students to don full flying clothing for each sortie.
An ancient instructor who had never dealt with attractive female pilots before, walked into the crewroom with an attractive blonde after a trip and said - 'Get your kit off and we'll go and debrief' After the howl of laughter from other instructors and students died down, the blonde replied. 'Thanks --- that's the best offer I've had all week!
An ancient instructor who had never dealt with attractive female pilots before, walked into the crewroom with an attractive blonde after a trip and said - 'Get your kit off and we'll go and debrief' After the howl of laughter from other instructors and students died down, the blonde replied. 'Thanks --- that's the best offer I've had all week!
Many years ago met a female colleague I had not seen in a while. Noticing a sizeable bump on her stomach I congratulated her and asked when the baby was due. Cue a very old fashioned look and the reply that as she had given up smoking she had put on some weight! I was forgiven, eventually!
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Gazelle outbound from Aldergrove on "Route 2'"
AAC xxx "Aldergrove we're just going to set down at the zone boundary to close a door"
Aldergrove Approach Controller "I didn't know we HAD a door at the zone boundary"
AAC xxx "Aldergrove we're just going to set down at the zone boundary to close a door"
Aldergrove Approach Controller "I didn't know we HAD a door at the zone boundary"
Akrotiri 1971'ish, desk job in Engineering Records.
Was on the phone to a guy I knew well but needed some info from the other side of the office, so asked him to ring me on extension xx.
Sprinted accross the office & just as I got there the phone started to ring, picked up the phone and cheerily answered it with ..........."station farm, duty pig"
Short delay from the other end, followed by "station commander here".
Luckily I realised it was true and not a continuation of my joke.
But the mumbling & grovelling that followed still makes me cringe!
Was on the phone to a guy I knew well but needed some info from the other side of the office, so asked him to ring me on extension xx.
Sprinted accross the office & just as I got there the phone started to ring, picked up the phone and cheerily answered it with ..........."station farm, duty pig"
Short delay from the other end, followed by "station commander here".
Luckily I realised it was true and not a continuation of my joke.
But the mumbling & grovelling that followed still makes me cringe!
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
picked up the phone and cheerily answered it with ..........."station farm, duty pig"
Short delay from the other end, followed by "station commander here".
Luckily I realised it was true and not a continuation of my joke.
But the mumbling & grovelling that followed still makes me cringe!
Short delay from the other end, followed by "station commander here".
Luckily I realised it was true and not a continuation of my joke.
But the mumbling & grovelling that followed still makes me cringe!
NO
"TTFFT" - bang.