SAS imposter rumbled
No, the target fell over the fence, complained loudly to anyone who would listen, used his hands to illustrate the time he splashed a Yank bogey in his F4and then drank him under the table back at the club. Further he chased the illegal's back to Mexico as they attempted to escape all talk of the Vickers fun bus. Suspect then flailed wildly, screaming something about missing a parade in which the RAF promoted diversity of lifestyle.
Pretty sure it was you.
Pretty sure it was you.
We once did a 'reverse walt' in Norway. Mid 90's a group of us were there for about 10 days and at the first gin and tonic frenzy before going down town (Stavanger) we thought how naff it would be to tell our real occupations. We came up with a great cover story that we were infact working as Dolphin conservationists in Norway for 2 months. We allocated each other roles as divers, trainers, boat engineers etc. The local girls just loved it. To make matters worse we spoke in the worst possible Ozzie accents as we figured they were the easiest accents to do and after all Ozzies are more likely to know about Dolphins than Brits ..right!
The first few days were great, everyone was getting DCO's and many promises were being made to take the girls swimming with dolphins 20 miles off the coast in Stavanger. We even had a trial for who could swim with them in the pub. Six girls lined up and were told they had to try and hold their breath for two minutes. Most could not last 30 seconds because of the number of tabs they smoked.
It all fell apart when one guy who had met a truly stunning scandinavian goddess went out for a private dinner with her after a week. Feeling that this would be the woman for the rest of his life he said, dropping his ozzie accent (please put your tongue down in your lower lip while you say this) "Elizabeth I am not really a Dolphin trainer, I am a British Military Pilot, and so are all my friends'
We only found out the next evening as we went in to the bar, full of stories of how 'Spotty the Dolphin had rescued one of us today when one of our divers sank lifelessly to the bottom of the sea' to be dragged to the surface by spotty who then called the boat crew and we rescued him. The story was no longer met with glees and gasps of delight as the other stories had, but the hard grimace of 8 very pissed off viking women. We were effectively ran out of the bar (and the goddess never did become the woman of our mates dreams) buggah!!!
The first few days were great, everyone was getting DCO's and many promises were being made to take the girls swimming with dolphins 20 miles off the coast in Stavanger. We even had a trial for who could swim with them in the pub. Six girls lined up and were told they had to try and hold their breath for two minutes. Most could not last 30 seconds because of the number of tabs they smoked.
It all fell apart when one guy who had met a truly stunning scandinavian goddess went out for a private dinner with her after a week. Feeling that this would be the woman for the rest of his life he said, dropping his ozzie accent (please put your tongue down in your lower lip while you say this) "Elizabeth I am not really a Dolphin trainer, I am a British Military Pilot, and so are all my friends'
We only found out the next evening as we went in to the bar, full of stories of how 'Spotty the Dolphin had rescued one of us today when one of our divers sank lifelessly to the bottom of the sea' to be dragged to the surface by spotty who then called the boat crew and we rescued him. The story was no longer met with glees and gasps of delight as the other stories had, but the hard grimace of 8 very pissed off viking women. We were effectively ran out of the bar (and the goddess never did become the woman of our mates dreams) buggah!!!
back at the club.
Club? No colonials in my club. Or were you referring to the Officers' Mess?
Pretty sure it was you
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I came across this on another forum. 'The Baron of Castleshort'. He has two huge threads devoted to him on ARRSE. The Army rumour service. This guy by any standars is a world class Walt. Probably king of the walts. So good that he may actually have done a few of the things he mentioned simply because he fooled a few people over the years.
The Lordship of Castleshort
His profile:
Jim Shortt
The Baron of Castleshort - ARRSEpedia, James Shortt, Major Lucien Ott, The Baron Castleshort, IBA, International Bodyguard Association, Protection, Close Protection, Walter Mitty, Knight of St Gregory, McCarthy Mor, Royal Galloglas Guard, SAS, Parach
That guy actually deserves a medal.
The Lordship of Castleshort
His profile:
Jim Shortt
The Baron of Castleshort - ARRSEpedia, James Shortt, Major Lucien Ott, The Baron Castleshort, IBA, International Bodyguard Association, Protection, Close Protection, Walter Mitty, Knight of St Gregory, McCarthy Mor, Royal Galloglas Guard, SAS, Parach
That guy actually deserves a medal.
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Jim Shortt
Jim Shortt looks familiar.
I was given a video a while back (for christmas) called "seige busters", and I'm sure he was in it. If it was him, then at one point he was criticising certain countries special forces.
The whole video was pretty poor and I threw it away not long after getting it.
I was given a video a while back (for christmas) called "seige busters", and I'm sure he was in it. If it was him, then at one point he was criticising certain countries special forces.
The whole video was pretty poor and I threw it away not long after getting it.
Drain Bamaged
Some time it's just plain sad!
What do you do when the future wife of one of your best friend is telling in front of three or four pilots that one day, when she was 'invited' in a military field in Europe
(how convenient as we were all in Canada at the time) she:
"Went inside a fighter jet and the ejection seat she was strapped on fired!"
...Huh !? (in unison)
"Yes! but luckily she fell onto the grass, not the tarmac!
We were more shocked by the fact she could think we would believe her than by the story itself!
There must be a name for this kind of mental sickness.
More embarrassing was Buddy believing her
That was 15 years ago with no alcohol involved and it was just a casual conversation before without even mentioning aviation.
What do you do when the future wife of one of your best friend is telling in front of three or four pilots that one day, when she was 'invited' in a military field in Europe
(how convenient as we were all in Canada at the time) she:
"Went inside a fighter jet and the ejection seat she was strapped on fired!"
...Huh !? (in unison)
"Yes! but luckily she fell onto the grass, not the tarmac!
We were more shocked by the fact she could think we would believe her than by the story itself!
There must be a name for this kind of mental sickness.
More embarrassing was Buddy believing her
That was 15 years ago with no alcohol involved and it was just a casual conversation before without even mentioning aviation.
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OH
MY
GOD
I am certain after seeing his youtube videos that Jim Shortt taught us CQB on our escape and evasion SMAC course out of HMS Sultan. He was introduced as "the bloke who taught the SAS all they know about the subject"
To be fair to him, he was spectacularly good at his ninja/chopsocky stuff.
Obviously someone somewhere in authority fell for his bull.
MY
GOD
I am certain after seeing his youtube videos that Jim Shortt taught us CQB on our escape and evasion SMAC course out of HMS Sultan. He was introduced as "the bloke who taught the SAS all they know about the subject"
To be fair to him, he was spectacularly good at his ninja/chopsocky stuff.
Obviously someone somewhere in authority fell for his bull.
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SAS imposter rumbled
I just spotted another!
Ministry of Defence | Defence News | People In Defence | Defence 2008: A Year in Pictures
I just spotted another!
Ministry of Defence | Defence News | People In Defence | Defence 2008: A Year in Pictures
Incipient walt?
I used to be housemates with a lad at Uni who decided to try his hand at the local OTC (Army eqiv of UAS).
He was kitted out with the latest combat 95 or whatever and proceeded to spend a few weeks with them.
Now I would have thought they would have to do marching, drill and inspections to at least basic standard as well as PT. But no, all they seemed to do was unarmed combat...........and that how he was the hardest person in our house right down to the fact he was the former North Eastern kickboxing champion, and that he "was in the Army now".
Until one night he tried to start on a lad in a club and failed to notice the other 7 lads he came in with....and the fact they expect you to iron your kit occasionally in the Army.
Why do people need to act like this? I could see through it but others believed this bullsh!t. He even told people that I was a pilot in the RAF, from I was a staff cadet on a VGS for a few years.
He was kitted out with the latest combat 95 or whatever and proceeded to spend a few weeks with them.
Now I would have thought they would have to do marching, drill and inspections to at least basic standard as well as PT. But no, all they seemed to do was unarmed combat...........and that how he was the hardest person in our house right down to the fact he was the former North Eastern kickboxing champion, and that he "was in the Army now".
Until one night he tried to start on a lad in a club and failed to notice the other 7 lads he came in with....and the fact they expect you to iron your kit occasionally in the Army.
Why do people need to act like this? I could see through it but others believed this bullsh!t. He even told people that I was a pilot in the RAF, from I was a staff cadet on a VGS for a few years.
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Glad you guys have found Jimbo Sh!rtt, the World's most famous nobody 
Hours of endless fun, especially watching all his 3rd World IBA Pyramid Scheme websites putting up all sorts of disclaimers and copyright notices since ARRSE started on him.
Much more fun yet to be had, especially once the Media shift up a gear
Hours of endless fun, especially watching all his 3rd World IBA Pyramid Scheme websites putting up all sorts of disclaimers and copyright notices since ARRSE started on him.
Much more fun yet to be had, especially once the Media shift up a gear
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In the late 80's i worked in an outdoor shop in the Brunel Plaza in Swindon. We had various oddbods who wore "Egoflage" as we described it and bought anything green or remotely military looking.
One regular used to describe in detail not only what guns he owned, the armies he has been in, and what he would like to do to the "bad" people! We encouraged him and even pointed out the local bad boys not beleiving for a minute any of his far feteched stories.
This oddbod lived in Hungerford, and was called Michael.
How were we to know?
One regular used to describe in detail not only what guns he owned, the armies he has been in, and what he would like to do to the "bad" people! We encouraged him and even pointed out the local bad boys not beleiving for a minute any of his far feteched stories.
This oddbod lived in Hungerford, and was called Michael.
How were we to know?
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I was down at a chippy getting some grub after an excerise when we got talking to a chap who was interested in what we were doing. He told us he was ex-army and began telling us about his time "serving queen and country".
Guy was talking a load of sh*t but he then asked what these badges were:
Now most people know what those badges are, so we replied "Oh... Eh... he serves with the 13 Balloon Corp, which basically means we fly over the enemy in Balloons and drop down using ropes". The guy was amazed by this so we made up some stories off the top of our head and off he went with his mates telling them about his meeting with the Balloon Corp. I've never laughed so hard in my life.
Guy was talking a load of sh*t but he then asked what these badges were:
Now most people know what those badges are, so we replied "Oh... Eh... he serves with the 13 Balloon Corp, which basically means we fly over the enemy in Balloons and drop down using ropes". The guy was amazed by this so we made up some stories off the top of our head and off he went with his mates telling them about his meeting with the Balloon Corp. I've never laughed so hard in my life.
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A driver where I work in civvy street says he used to be in the Army "but can't really talk about it" though apparently he has worked with the infamous '49 Para' which I helpfully offered to him after the bullsh!t alarms went haywire.
As I informed one of the ladies who had been taking an interest in his military 'record', any serviceman, ex-serviceman or chancer pretending to be the above who uses the phrase "I can't really talk about it" is a walt of the highest order and should be avoided.
Real steely-eyed killer types, when pushed on what they did in the military normally say they served pies on Nimrods.
;o)
As I informed one of the ladies who had been taking an interest in his military 'record', any serviceman, ex-serviceman or chancer pretending to be the above who uses the phrase "I can't really talk about it" is a walt of the highest order and should be avoided.
Real steely-eyed killer types, when pushed on what they did in the military normally say they served pies on Nimrods.
;o)
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Real steely-eyed killer types, when pushed on what they did in the military normally say they served pies on Nimrods
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Westie,
I think you may have touched a raw nerve fella
I think you may have touched a raw nerve fella
You see Westie has been there and done that a few times. He has seen the elephant.
On the other hand our Walt, who has never heard a shot in anger unless it was a beer bottle aimed at him, elected to go ugly early. It’s a bloody shame that his claim to have 'led the first strikes into Iraq' (which was soon downgraded to 'errm, I flew a tanker') have gone astray since pprune moved servers. The poor lad has probably never been over the FLOT to test his recce or anything else in his life. But he does talk a big game, even if it is all hat and no cows.
Our own little pprune walt with his lighthouse. Ain’t that sweet?
Last edited by StbdD; 22nd Dec 2008 at 11:10.
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I was in Arnhem a few years ago and our local guide who was an historian from the Arnhem battlefield museum told me a story about a "veteran" who turned up every year and would tell people about his exploits during Operation Market Garden in 1944. Often he would tell his tales complete with medals to listeners whilst standing in the military cemetary in Arnhem surrounded by dead young men who were there and never came home. My guide told us that when found out he quietly disappeared and has never been seen since. Personally I cannot imagine a greater crime than "Stealing Dead Mens Glory" and rather than a "quiet word" I would have given him a medicinal kicking for this amoral behaviour.
Rare for you to stray outside JetBlast, stbdd....
'Xenophobic', by the way. If you're going to be insulting, at least learn to spell first.
Westie knows the 'lighthouse' in-joke.
3 VC10K from KKIA and 8 Tornados from Muharraq, night of 15/16 Jan 1991. Olive Trail and Lime Post. All went fine.
You?
'Xenophobic', by the way. If you're going to be insulting, at least learn to spell first.
Westie knows the 'lighthouse' in-joke.
3 VC10K from KKIA and 8 Tornados from Muharraq, night of 15/16 Jan 1991. Olive Trail and Lime Post. All went fine.
You?