RAF Police
Join Date: Jan 2005
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St. Mawgan, early 60's and one the guardroom's finest had climbed into a Mk2 Shack for a kip on nightshift leaving his best friend tied to the entrance ladder on watch. Later as he was leaving the a/c his foot caught and he was left half hanging by the ankle. Nothing serious, a painfully twisted ankle and a broken finger but what gave us a real laugh was his ever protective "best friend" who wouldn't let any of the ground crew near him to help. One of his dog handler buddies eventually got him down. 
s37
s37
SSER
Join Date: Jul 2006
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I blocked AIDU (as most people do) for some time. Then I realised that his prattish remarks can be good entertainment value. He's what is known as a well balanced chap..................................has a chip on both shoulders!
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Detroit MI
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any more stories i can enjoy in peace now
Part of basic training for a Gunner took place at Granton-on-Spey and they have all kinds of adventure training kit right up to tents and the like. I had been back a couple of months from there because I was already on II Sqn. when I was called to the bosses office and told that there were two SIB officers here to see me...
I'm sent down the corridor to the office they are supposed to be in and I find the two of them. I first thought it was some kind of wind-up because they were both in civvies and one was a very, (and I mean very), attractive young lady. It was early summer and the office window faced south so the sun was streaming in the window. The dear lass was getting a little warm so she took off her jacket leaving just a sheer blouse and nothing else. Since she was sat half cocked, (pun intended), to me so she could see both myself and her oppo the sun did a wonderful job of displaying her womanly charms through the blouse.
They were investigating the absence of a tent from Granton and, to be honest, I was sufficiently mezmerized by her charms I found myself deliberately appearing to be evasive so I could continue to watch them jiggle as she turned back and forth - Hey, I was 21 and getting paid for this... I could have been sweeping the hangar...
Eventually they said they wanted to search my room. I insisted that he was unnecessary and that I could escort the sweet young thing to my lair... errr... room... on my own. Unfortunately, and probably the biggest reason I hate the scuffers to this day, he refused my generous offer - he insisted on accompanying her.
Funny, I don't recall her face, but I'll never forget her... *cough*
I insisted that he was unnecessary and that I could escort the sweet young thing to my lair... errr... room... on my own
AA - Why didn't you just offer to show her your tent - complete with pole of course?
Jack
PS It's Grantown by the way ....
AA - Why didn't you just offer to show her your tent - complete with pole of course?
Jack
PS It's Grantown by the way ....
Join Date: Mar 2001
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Two sides to the filth.
NHT, mid 80's, a cook was caught sneaking out of the WRAF block and charged .
Exra rations to the filth on nights were stopped, charges dropped.
A friend was charged for an insecurity at the movs terminal (old one) and I was called as a witness.
All was going very badly until I realised that the window in question had been painted shut for years .
Charge dropped, copper got a no notice posting - result!
On the good side , ASI 1988 the cops were given a radar gun.
The first two caught speeding were the CO and OC Ops - no more speed traps!
Wittering '89, a copper left his sidearm on the roof of his escort and went for a drive.
A couple of days later a trucker handed back the mangled BAP to the guardroom - he found it on the A1, in the outside lane.
NHT, mid 80's, a cook was caught sneaking out of the WRAF block and charged .
Exra rations to the filth on nights were stopped, charges dropped.
A friend was charged for an insecurity at the movs terminal (old one) and I was called as a witness.
All was going very badly until I realised that the window in question had been painted shut for years .
Charge dropped, copper got a no notice posting - result!
On the good side , ASI 1988 the cops were given a radar gun.
The first two caught speeding were the CO and OC Ops - no more speed traps!
Wittering '89, a copper left his sidearm on the roof of his escort and went for a drive.
A couple of days later a trucker handed back the mangled BAP to the guardroom - he found it on the A1, in the outside lane.
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Suffolk
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Jeez,....glad I came out when I did. Mind, in my day (could put that to music) we toted a revolver whilst on duty on Bomber Command and guess what, the bullets were wrapped in endless amounts of cellotape in a little wooden box. Security my Rse. It would have taken a month of Sundays to undo the lot! As for nicking one of the cooks....no way jose. Never did believe in the petty stuff. Mind, had some laughs when I worked with the station lads. Whilst in Labuan, HMS Bulwark came in for a stopover with forty two and forty three commando on board..I think,(memory is crap now) Had to work on the landrover that night as trouble was indeed anticipated. Charging back to port Victoria, pulled up alongside the Chief Petty Officer in charge of the liberty boat taking their lads back. By this time they had kicked the stilt legs from the Naffi, frightened all the ladies of dubious trade into the bush
.Behind us came a horde of Bulwarks crew screaming like banshees. CPO said, "Look lads, dont mind you shipping my lads down here to get shut of but,...I dont go along with making them run behind you...." Sharp as ell I said, "Running behind us, thats a laugh, they are chasing us...." Before the ship left, we were invited on for drinks and eats......strewth what a night.
) we toted a revolver whilst on duty on Bomber Command and guess what, the bullets were wrapped in endless amounts of cellotape in a little wooden box. Security my Rse. It would have taken a month of Sundays to undo the lot! As for nicking one of the cooks....no way jose. Never did believe in the petty stuff. Mind, had some laughs when I worked with the station lads. Whilst in Labuan, HMS Bulwark came in for a stopover with forty two and forty three commando on board..I think,(memory is crap now) Had to work on the landrover that night as trouble was indeed anticipated. Charging back to port Victoria, pulled up alongside the Chief Petty Officer in charge of the liberty boat taking their lads back. By this time they had kicked the stilt legs from the Naffi, frightened all the ladies of dubious trade into the bush.Behind us came a horde of Bulwarks crew screaming like banshees. CPO said, "Look lads, dont mind you shipping my lads down here to get shut of but,...I dont go along with making them run behind you...." Sharp as ell I said, "Running behind us, thats a laugh, they are chasing us...." Before the ship left, we were invited on for drinks and eats......strewth what a night.
I was once on QRA, and I sped past the duty copper on the gate in my private car, on the wrong side of the road. You should have seen his face! (Or rather, I should have put a memo of understanding in to make sure the police were aware beforehand of QRA's ongoing activities and requirements, and perhaps they would have had no problem with this).
Never mind, when I was coming back from QRA off nights, an "ACTING" (The shame of it!) Corporal had the nerve to stop me for speeding, with all of things, a LASER GUN! He says I'm doing 40 in a 20. (Of course I'll always tell my friends and buddies on PPRuNe that I was in fact doing 21 in a 20, but of course, 40 implies I was in the wrong, and I can't have that!)
I do my best to belittle the RAF Policeman concerned, which results in a formal report, but we move on, with me claiming a mental victory.
Later, I'm off down town, and I get into a spot of bother. I've somehow grabbed the vagina of a wife of a friend of mine, and he's got the RAF filth involved! They say I've sexually assaulted someone. My other friends say that the Police are trying to ruin my good career and it's not my fault at all! I know I'm a jolly good egg, and this needs nothing more than a slap on the wrist from the CO. I will DESPISE the RAF Police for their indescretion in invesigating this minor slip for the rest of my life!
(Of course I will always tell my friends that it was the Police's fault... despite the fact that the Police only collect facts, and that the RAF legal branch decide on action taken, and the judge decides whether I'm guilty or not).
On trying to return to camp, I rang up the RAF Police. "Hello!" I said, "It's Flt Lt Chopsy here, can you pick me up from the middle of town and transport me to the mess?" The cheeky ACTING Cpl said something I didn't quite understand, but it involved copulation. Apparently I should have considered a taxi... the cheek of it!
In the end, I had to get a taxi. (Note: Perhaps I should ask nicely, it MAY get me somewhere).
On my arrival at the gate, I saw an MPGS type wallah. Imagine my delight when I saw an RAF Police ACTING Corporal with him, carrying some sort of dog. I didn't fancy talking to the ACTING Corporal, so I showed my MoD90 to his dog instead. I felt so witty as I did this, as I'd seen it mentioned in PPRuNe for the last 2 decades.
I thought my up to date wit would easily outstrip the fact that I'm pissed and that I'm acting more like a 13 year old cadet.
Is it just me, or are the Police total wankers these days?
Never mind, when I was coming back from QRA off nights, an "ACTING" (The shame of it!) Corporal had the nerve to stop me for speeding, with all of things, a LASER GUN! He says I'm doing 40 in a 20. (Of course I'll always tell my friends and buddies on PPRuNe that I was in fact doing 21 in a 20, but of course, 40 implies I was in the wrong, and I can't have that!)
I do my best to belittle the RAF Policeman concerned, which results in a formal report, but we move on, with me claiming a mental victory.
Later, I'm off down town, and I get into a spot of bother. I've somehow grabbed the vagina of a wife of a friend of mine, and he's got the RAF filth involved! They say I've sexually assaulted someone. My other friends say that the Police are trying to ruin my good career and it's not my fault at all! I know I'm a jolly good egg, and this needs nothing more than a slap on the wrist from the CO. I will DESPISE the RAF Police for their indescretion in invesigating this minor slip for the rest of my life!
(Of course I will always tell my friends that it was the Police's fault... despite the fact that the Police only collect facts, and that the RAF legal branch decide on action taken, and the judge decides whether I'm guilty or not).
On trying to return to camp, I rang up the RAF Police. "Hello!" I said, "It's Flt Lt Chopsy here, can you pick me up from the middle of town and transport me to the mess?" The cheeky ACTING Cpl said something I didn't quite understand, but it involved copulation. Apparently I should have considered a taxi... the cheek of it!
In the end, I had to get a taxi. (Note: Perhaps I should ask nicely, it MAY get me somewhere).
On my arrival at the gate, I saw an MPGS type wallah. Imagine my delight when I saw an RAF Police ACTING Corporal with him, carrying some sort of dog. I didn't fancy talking to the ACTING Corporal, so I showed my MoD90 to his dog instead. I felt so witty as I did this, as I'd seen it mentioned in PPRuNe for the last 2 decades.
I thought my up to date wit would easily outstrip the fact that I'm pissed and that I'm acting more like a 13 year old cadet.
Is it just me, or are the Police total wankers these days?
I thought my up to date wit would easily outstrip the fact that I'm pissed and that I'm acting more like a 13 year old cadet.
What? Now, or then....?
Jack
PS Actually, you lost me at the beginning of para 4!
What? Now, or then....?
Jack
PS Actually, you lost me at the beginning of para 4!
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Funniest one i heard was relayed to me by a dog handler, though not him, a dog handler wandered into the fire section at Lynham to scrounge a cup of tea, tethering his dog to the rear ladder of a MK 9, he proceeded downing his brew in the crew room. shortly afterwards ATC activated the crash alarm for an inbound Herc with problems (STATE 2),the dog handler wandered out to find the MK 9 had gone, complete with dog in tow. true or folklore can't be sure,but heard it several times from numerous sources.
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Well, perceptions of those that purvey military law. It sounds a sad lot you have out there. Had one Rupert that came the acid down town in Borneo. Not only did he throw his rank but tried to be a a bit physical. Two weeks left I thought...sod it. Shove your rank lad, how,s about we sort it out here and now. We did, and a damned good fight it was. Now I could be a clever Rse and say like the speeding QRA prat that I knocked seven bells out of him....and that would be a lie. He knocked the kali out of me. But,....one week from departure met him down town. Shook my hand and we got totally smashed together on Tiger.
I shall retire and leave you all with the thread. No room for crinklies in here methinks Oh,....may just add....after leaving the RAF,devoted my career to psychiatry. Had one locked ward full of guys with two bars on their pyjama jackets all thinking they were racing to a QRA alert....nothing worse than manic depressive psychosis
. It sounds a sad lot you have out there. Had one Rupert that came the acid down town in Borneo. Not only did he throw his rank but tried to be a a bit physical. Two weeks left I thought...sod it. Shove your rank lad, how,s about we sort it out here and now. We did, and a damned good fight it was. Now I could be a clever Rse and say like the speeding QRA prat that I knocked seven bells out of him....and that would be a lie. He knocked the kali out of me. But,....one week from departure met him down town. Shook my hand and we got totally smashed together on Tiger.I shall retire and leave you all with the thread. No room for crinklies in here methinks
Oh,....may just add....after leaving the RAF,devoted my career to psychiatry. Had one locked ward full of guys with two bars on their pyjama jackets all thinking they were racing to a QRA alert....nothing worse than manic depressive psychosis
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All these aircrew types are all to ready to rubbish the RAFP and pass on all these hilarious stories of how they got one over on the Snowdrops.
What they seem to forget is that whenever they turned up p*ssed at the Main Gate of the Med Island base after a night on the strip, they were all too willing to ask for a lift up to the mess which was a good 2 miles walk at least.
I know for a fact that the duty mobile would give them a 'blue light' to wherever they wanted to go.
It happened in Weeze too where the shift would always pick up whoever was walking back to LBH.
Whenever dealing with aircrew, techies etc, they would always be nice to your face then drop you in it at the drop of a hat. Isnt' that what the RAFP is accused of?
Double standards !!
What they seem to forget is that whenever they turned up p*ssed at the Main Gate of the Med Island base after a night on the strip, they were all too willing to ask for a lift up to the mess which was a good 2 miles walk at least.
I know for a fact that the duty mobile would give them a 'blue light' to wherever they wanted to go.
It happened in Weeze too where the shift would always pick up whoever was walking back to LBH.
Whenever dealing with aircrew, techies etc, they would always be nice to your face then drop you in it at the drop of a hat. Isnt' that what the RAFP is accused of?
Double standards !!
