RAF Police, waste of space or not?
Join Date: Apr 2005
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Bad apples in every trade / branch.
Supplier 'supplying' petrol to locals at overseas base. Nice 100% profit.
Accounts F/L using public money to gamble in Hong Kong, but his luck ran out.
Chef Sgt taking copius quantity of food home.
F/L Catering officer ordered cooked chicken once a month to take on picnic to nice place across the water, but they never showed up on her mess bill.
RAFP jncos at St Athan raided stores so much they almost emptied it, one geezer had dustbin full to the brim with 13 amp electrical plugs.!! And enough blankets to equip an expeditionary force. All stored at home in Somerset ready for sale at market stall some months later when he was demob. Thousands of quids worth of gear in total.
Air Marshall in NATO appointment in Holland always claimed full Rate 1 every night he stayed free of charge in residences of other senior officers who he visited throughout western europe. His personal staff were too scared of him to question the fraud. When eventually a keen newly arrived SAC Accounts clerk did so, he was told that he did not seem to be fitting in well in an 'international military staff environment'. Told to shut up.
Mess manager Sgt had more booze stored in his garage than you could find in a brewery.
FS MT who never bought oil for his car, always had a free fill up in DI Bay.
F/O Accounts at Gutersloh made a few quid by spending a couple of hours once a week re-hashing the accounts roll used to calculate currency exchange from the trooper flights. But on one occasion he used red ink instead of usual black.. Idiot made about £50 from each flight.
Cpl Gen Tech, married male unaccompanied, at coastal command med base, had habit of taking small boys back to barrack room. Jailed for 2 years.
Sqn Ldr at Laarbruch, OC Youth Club and Scouts took boys to his room in the mess. Padre who was attending the court martial tried to stop 3 of us entering the court room,, ''it was not right for Cpls to be present'' he said. Rubbish, we were in..continuation training, and it was a serious offence to try and prohibit anyone from attending a public court, as I advised the Padre, politely I might add. He rang our boss for advice and was put in his place!! Witnessed laughter in court, the one and only time.. Prosecutor said, '' I now produce exhibit H, a large jar half full of vaseline, which was found on the dressing table in the room of the accused''. Defence officer said, '' I can see nothing wrong with anyone having a jar of vaseline in their room''. Prosecutor replied, very quickly, '' What, a 3 pound jar, nothing wrong?''....... Even the JAG smirked, it was hilarious for a good minute.. Then, '' The accused has admitted that the 13 black jelly baby sweets forming a neat line also on the top of the dressing table represented the number of times a boy had been ''assaulted'' in his room''. Well, he went to jail... hope he is still there.
Sgt in Cyprus raped his daughter and got 7 years jail.
Cpl at Bruggen murdered his daughter, with axe, and got life.
USAF/RAFP guarding a 'special' plane at Laarbruch were bored rigid, one afternoon, so decided to have some fun,, both had seen John Wayne, that great Amercian war hero in action, so they practiced some fast draws of their .38 pistols. Went well for a few times, but then catastrophy, the yank pulled the trigger! RAFP died a few minutes later, before any doc or medic arrived. Daily Mirror made an inocuous mention of a death at a joint UK/US installation in RAFG. Yank went to jail for several years.
Jnr Tech, a known scumbag, stole a couple of wheels off someone's car. After receiving complaint of theft, and 2 days hard slog, including 2 whole evenings of overtime without extra pay, or time off in lieu later, myself and colleage found the wheels fitted to another car. Scumbag's car!!!!!!! Ah we thought, go to jail for 5 years!!!!. No chance, Stn had had enough Court Martials, CO wanted promotion and things were not looking good for him with all the crime and courts etc.. No, no, lets do scumbag for 'improper possession'' we think he had reason to believe that the car the wheels were attached to was abandoned!!! Highly polished car which was in daily use by the owner, abandoned??? 7 days jankers awarded.. We thought, why do we bother???
Same Stn Cdr ordered that numerous car searches were to be done over period of several days, to search for stolen goods. After the first search produced enough stolen goods to fill Aladin's cave twice over, the CO chickened out and cancelled anymore. He did not want 1 Wg Co, 4 Sqn Ldrs, 15 F/Ls, god knows how many F/Os, 2 WOs, and more than 50 FSs, SgtS, Cpls, JTs, SACs, LACs, ACs, all court martialled, and about 20 civys up in Crown Court, he issued a 'stern rebuke' to all personnel on the station..
''Avon Lady'' delivers hundreds of pounds worth of girlie stuff to the WRAF Block one evening, most of which were collected and paid for by the buyers. One package, though disappeared.. Much panic, it was worth £25 quid, a lot in 1970s.. Next day after speaking to the one who should have received the goods that were missing, I knew the little **** was lying, and demanded to search her room... Oh dear oh dear,, no no, you can't do that, she's a wraf!!!!!! We found the goods, some partially opened and used. Clear case of theft.... No, no said Stn, ''improper possession'' will do, don't want a court martial.
MO issuing false prescriptions so he could get high as a kite on the drugs himself.
SNCO aircrew x 2 said they had been robbed of flight imprest whilst walking down a city street, in foreign lands, highly suspicous, but nothing to prove they made the whole thing up. But you never know, one of them might eventually have a pang of guilt and spill the beans.
Sqn Ldr issued with outside line facility on his office telephone made about £250 worth of private calls.. Court Martialled and chucked out.
Cpl did not like doing his own laundry, so he nicked over 60 shirts from drying rooms in numerous barrack blocks. Still, he was ''ill'', so sent home to UK for admin discharge.
Sgt airframes stole an envelope containing new credit card from mess post rack, used it to order goods which he intercepted before the true card owner checked for any mail, and who only became aware of the theft when he read his next credit card statement..Jail beckoned for the guilty man, 18 months.
Air Vice Marshal 'misbehaving' in gents toilet near Trafalgar Square. Had to resign of course, after court case.
SAC 'sparks' stole an electrical razor from next room in barrack block. After much telephoning to every Phillips factory in the world (yea, yea!!!) we established that when it had been manufactured, he had been stationed on an island in the eastern med! Lying little **** finally confessed.. Ve had vays of making him!!!!! Court Martialled, 56 days and kicked out.
F/Os, several of them, set a fellow pilot on fire at Chivenor, causing very serious injuries. High spirits? Never! They went to jail.
2 males seen by me, at 0200 hrs, walking out of barrack block. No street lighting and it was very dark. They were carrying mattresses and started to put them into the rear of a van which was parked right outside the doorway. I thought it perfectly reasonable to enquire as to what they were up to. Afterall, were they going to fill the van with all manner of air force goods and vanish off base. But all I got immediately was,'' You are picking on us caus we're black'' !!!!!!!! Well, they were black right enough, but even had they been white, I would have still enquired what they were up to. That is what I was paid to do. After some exchanges, similar to that seen on the movies, I established they were unable to sleep due to noise a few doors away from them and decided to move further away to a friends block for the rest of the night. Fair enough. But next day, they and a friend barged into my FSs office complaing about my intrusion into their little excursion the night before. Of all the 100 FSs in RAFP during that time, HE was the very last one these morons should have chosen to accost about their perceived problem. Their asses nearly lost conrol as he read them the riot act. I wished I could have heard it. Those that did said they would remember it for all time. Ah those were the days, before PC!!!!!!
As you see folks,,, the bosses want their cops, but don't want them to actually do anything much, too often, which would put the stations in a bad light. Can be demoralising to say the least.
Statistics and lies!.
Million miles distance between meaning of theft and improper possession, is'nt there?
False number of thefts recorded on RAF stations. Secretary of Defence swallows the figures wholesale, and thinks ALL his armed forces personnel are wonderful, honest, decent, upright citizens. And so he tells the PM, who tells HM Majesty. Wonder what she thinks, though?
Gullible fools in MOD Government, but not HM!
Good job I kept a journal, my memoirs will fly off the shelves in WH Smith, sometime soon...............
Supplier 'supplying' petrol to locals at overseas base. Nice 100% profit.
Accounts F/L using public money to gamble in Hong Kong, but his luck ran out.
Chef Sgt taking copius quantity of food home.
F/L Catering officer ordered cooked chicken once a month to take on picnic to nice place across the water, but they never showed up on her mess bill.
RAFP jncos at St Athan raided stores so much they almost emptied it, one geezer had dustbin full to the brim with 13 amp electrical plugs.!! And enough blankets to equip an expeditionary force. All stored at home in Somerset ready for sale at market stall some months later when he was demob. Thousands of quids worth of gear in total.
Air Marshall in NATO appointment in Holland always claimed full Rate 1 every night he stayed free of charge in residences of other senior officers who he visited throughout western europe. His personal staff were too scared of him to question the fraud. When eventually a keen newly arrived SAC Accounts clerk did so, he was told that he did not seem to be fitting in well in an 'international military staff environment'. Told to shut up.
Mess manager Sgt had more booze stored in his garage than you could find in a brewery.
FS MT who never bought oil for his car, always had a free fill up in DI Bay.
F/O Accounts at Gutersloh made a few quid by spending a couple of hours once a week re-hashing the accounts roll used to calculate currency exchange from the trooper flights. But on one occasion he used red ink instead of usual black.. Idiot made about £50 from each flight.
Cpl Gen Tech, married male unaccompanied, at coastal command med base, had habit of taking small boys back to barrack room. Jailed for 2 years.
Sqn Ldr at Laarbruch, OC Youth Club and Scouts took boys to his room in the mess. Padre who was attending the court martial tried to stop 3 of us entering the court room,, ''it was not right for Cpls to be present'' he said. Rubbish, we were in..continuation training, and it was a serious offence to try and prohibit anyone from attending a public court, as I advised the Padre, politely I might add. He rang our boss for advice and was put in his place!! Witnessed laughter in court, the one and only time.. Prosecutor said, '' I now produce exhibit H, a large jar half full of vaseline, which was found on the dressing table in the room of the accused''. Defence officer said, '' I can see nothing wrong with anyone having a jar of vaseline in their room''. Prosecutor replied, very quickly, '' What, a 3 pound jar, nothing wrong?''....... Even the JAG smirked, it was hilarious for a good minute.. Then, '' The accused has admitted that the 13 black jelly baby sweets forming a neat line also on the top of the dressing table represented the number of times a boy had been ''assaulted'' in his room''. Well, he went to jail... hope he is still there.
Sgt in Cyprus raped his daughter and got 7 years jail.
Cpl at Bruggen murdered his daughter, with axe, and got life.
USAF/RAFP guarding a 'special' plane at Laarbruch were bored rigid, one afternoon, so decided to have some fun,, both had seen John Wayne, that great Amercian war hero in action, so they practiced some fast draws of their .38 pistols. Went well for a few times, but then catastrophy, the yank pulled the trigger! RAFP died a few minutes later, before any doc or medic arrived. Daily Mirror made an inocuous mention of a death at a joint UK/US installation in RAFG. Yank went to jail for several years.
Jnr Tech, a known scumbag, stole a couple of wheels off someone's car. After receiving complaint of theft, and 2 days hard slog, including 2 whole evenings of overtime without extra pay, or time off in lieu later, myself and colleage found the wheels fitted to another car. Scumbag's car!!!!!!! Ah we thought, go to jail for 5 years!!!!. No chance, Stn had had enough Court Martials, CO wanted promotion and things were not looking good for him with all the crime and courts etc.. No, no, lets do scumbag for 'improper possession'' we think he had reason to believe that the car the wheels were attached to was abandoned!!! Highly polished car which was in daily use by the owner, abandoned??? 7 days jankers awarded.. We thought, why do we bother???
Same Stn Cdr ordered that numerous car searches were to be done over period of several days, to search for stolen goods. After the first search produced enough stolen goods to fill Aladin's cave twice over, the CO chickened out and cancelled anymore. He did not want 1 Wg Co, 4 Sqn Ldrs, 15 F/Ls, god knows how many F/Os, 2 WOs, and more than 50 FSs, SgtS, Cpls, JTs, SACs, LACs, ACs, all court martialled, and about 20 civys up in Crown Court, he issued a 'stern rebuke' to all personnel on the station..
''Avon Lady'' delivers hundreds of pounds worth of girlie stuff to the WRAF Block one evening, most of which were collected and paid for by the buyers. One package, though disappeared.. Much panic, it was worth £25 quid, a lot in 1970s.. Next day after speaking to the one who should have received the goods that were missing, I knew the little **** was lying, and demanded to search her room... Oh dear oh dear,, no no, you can't do that, she's a wraf!!!!!! We found the goods, some partially opened and used. Clear case of theft.... No, no said Stn, ''improper possession'' will do, don't want a court martial.
MO issuing false prescriptions so he could get high as a kite on the drugs himself.
SNCO aircrew x 2 said they had been robbed of flight imprest whilst walking down a city street, in foreign lands, highly suspicous, but nothing to prove they made the whole thing up. But you never know, one of them might eventually have a pang of guilt and spill the beans.
Sqn Ldr issued with outside line facility on his office telephone made about £250 worth of private calls.. Court Martialled and chucked out.
Cpl did not like doing his own laundry, so he nicked over 60 shirts from drying rooms in numerous barrack blocks. Still, he was ''ill'', so sent home to UK for admin discharge.
Sgt airframes stole an envelope containing new credit card from mess post rack, used it to order goods which he intercepted before the true card owner checked for any mail, and who only became aware of the theft when he read his next credit card statement..Jail beckoned for the guilty man, 18 months.
Air Vice Marshal 'misbehaving' in gents toilet near Trafalgar Square. Had to resign of course, after court case.
SAC 'sparks' stole an electrical razor from next room in barrack block. After much telephoning to every Phillips factory in the world (yea, yea!!!) we established that when it had been manufactured, he had been stationed on an island in the eastern med! Lying little **** finally confessed.. Ve had vays of making him!!!!! Court Martialled, 56 days and kicked out.
F/Os, several of them, set a fellow pilot on fire at Chivenor, causing very serious injuries. High spirits? Never! They went to jail.
2 males seen by me, at 0200 hrs, walking out of barrack block. No street lighting and it was very dark. They were carrying mattresses and started to put them into the rear of a van which was parked right outside the doorway. I thought it perfectly reasonable to enquire as to what they were up to. Afterall, were they going to fill the van with all manner of air force goods and vanish off base. But all I got immediately was,'' You are picking on us caus we're black'' !!!!!!!! Well, they were black right enough, but even had they been white, I would have still enquired what they were up to. That is what I was paid to do. After some exchanges, similar to that seen on the movies, I established they were unable to sleep due to noise a few doors away from them and decided to move further away to a friends block for the rest of the night. Fair enough. But next day, they and a friend barged into my FSs office complaing about my intrusion into their little excursion the night before. Of all the 100 FSs in RAFP during that time, HE was the very last one these morons should have chosen to accost about their perceived problem. Their asses nearly lost conrol as he read them the riot act. I wished I could have heard it. Those that did said they would remember it for all time. Ah those were the days, before PC!!!!!!
As you see folks,,, the bosses want their cops, but don't want them to actually do anything much, too often, which would put the stations in a bad light. Can be demoralising to say the least.
Statistics and lies!.
Million miles distance between meaning of theft and improper possession, is'nt there?
False number of thefts recorded on RAF stations. Secretary of Defence swallows the figures wholesale, and thinks ALL his armed forces personnel are wonderful, honest, decent, upright citizens. And so he tells the PM, who tells HM Majesty. Wonder what she thinks, though?
Gullible fools in MOD Government, but not HM!
Good job I kept a journal, my memoirs will fly off the shelves in WH Smith, sometime soon...............
Taff,
Oh dear oh dear! Whilst I do not deny the validity of your comments, I do hope you are not currently serving!
There is another forum about I wish I hadn't said that!
What's that?..................can you hear that knocking at the door?
Oh dear oh dear! Whilst I do not deny the validity of your comments, I do hope you are not currently serving!
There is another forum about I wish I hadn't said that!
What's that?..................can you hear that knocking at the door?
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Evening Lineslime,
Movements staff noting details of personnel departing UK for short dets overseas and using their car keys ((which were supposed to be held securely in OC Movements safe!!)) to ''free car hire'' for days at a time. Went Ok till one idiot crashed one of the cars, on a home visit a hundred miles away, and did a runner from the scene. We identified the culprit but he was handed over to civys and was dealt with in crown court. His colleages who were involved in the scam were '' warned about their future conduct''.
Movements geezer fiddled the Sqn 'kitty' and treated himself to some good clobber, which he was not allowed to wear when he spent his time in Colchester military prison, prior to discharge from the service.
ZH, the dogs do the reading
Movements staff noting details of personnel departing UK for short dets overseas and using their car keys ((which were supposed to be held securely in OC Movements safe!!)) to ''free car hire'' for days at a time. Went Ok till one idiot crashed one of the cars, on a home visit a hundred miles away, and did a runner from the scene. We identified the culprit but he was handed over to civys and was dealt with in crown court. His colleages who were involved in the scam were '' warned about their future conduct''.
Movements geezer fiddled the Sqn 'kitty' and treated himself to some good clobber, which he was not allowed to wear when he spent his time in Colchester military prison, prior to discharge from the service.
ZH, the dogs do the reading
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ZH, the dogs do the reading
I suppose the Leckies could help the dogs with their reading !
Safety_Helmut
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Safety Helmet,
Leckies read? The 4 bright sparks who played games by wiring up their private parts to batteries to see who could achieve the quickest and biggest discharge were in too much pain to do anything, let alone read
Leckies read? The 4 bright sparks who played games by wiring up their private parts to batteries to see who could achieve the quickest and biggest discharge were in too much pain to do anything, let alone read
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Source: Daily Record
A PERVERTED RAF sergeant downloaded thousands of images of hardcore child porn to his work computer. Derek Bailey, 28, is the third man at the RAF Kinloss base in Moray to be caught by the anti-child porn Operation Ore in the last six months.
But the MoD denied last night that there was a network of RAF personnel downloading child porn.
At Elgin Sheriff Court yesterday, Bailey admitted downloading and storing more than 3000 sick images of children and copying nearly 100 videos of child sex acts on to aDVD.
The court heard that MoD police were told by American investigators last June that Bailey's credit card had been used to buy child porn.
Police seized his computerlaptop and equipment. They were shocked at the extent of his child pornography library.
Sharon Ralph, prosecuting, said some of the images involved child bestiality.
She said a new scale was used by courts across Europe to assess the level of obscenity. Bailey had images across all five levels.
Solicitor advocate for Bailey, Ian Cruickshank, said his client had pleaded guilty at the earliest opportunity.
He said: 'This will certainly spell the end of his career in the RAF.'
Sheriff Ian Cameron deferred sentence until next month.
A spokesman for MoD Police said: 'There is no link between the three cases highlighted during the last six months.
And some of you lot have the balls to whine about RAF Coppers!
A PERVERTED RAF sergeant downloaded thousands of images of hardcore child porn to his work computer. Derek Bailey, 28, is the third man at the RAF Kinloss base in Moray to be caught by the anti-child porn Operation Ore in the last six months.
But the MoD denied last night that there was a network of RAF personnel downloading child porn.
At Elgin Sheriff Court yesterday, Bailey admitted downloading and storing more than 3000 sick images of children and copying nearly 100 videos of child sex acts on to aDVD.
The court heard that MoD police were told by American investigators last June that Bailey's credit card had been used to buy child porn.
Police seized his computerlaptop and equipment. They were shocked at the extent of his child pornography library.
Sharon Ralph, prosecuting, said some of the images involved child bestiality.
She said a new scale was used by courts across Europe to assess the level of obscenity. Bailey had images across all five levels.
Solicitor advocate for Bailey, Ian Cruickshank, said his client had pleaded guilty at the earliest opportunity.
He said: 'This will certainly spell the end of his career in the RAF.'
Sheriff Ian Cameron deferred sentence until next month.
A spokesman for MoD Police said: 'There is no link between the three cases highlighted during the last six months.
And some of you lot have the balls to whine about RAF Coppers!
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Scum, thats what i say and he deserves everything he gets.
Then again he is not the first nor will be the last, so he could do what the navy Commodore in Gib did and chuck himself in the swimming pool.........
Then again he is not the first nor will be the last, so he could do what the navy Commodore in Gib did and chuck himself in the swimming pool.........
Thought police antagonist
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RAF Police. The good
The two who I knew socially through sport---great blokes and a pleasure to be with
The Bad
Called to the G'Room at RAF xxxx mid 70's--warned by C/T in advance not to sign / say anything. The accusation. You are gay. News to me but there you go. The "investigation / questions"--off to my room and the farce began " How often do you shower?--as often as req. as I am doing fuel leaks !--and "why do you have a large bottle of shampoo / large washing powder?"--because I am on the road ?--and "why are your jeans faded ?"--er, because that's the way they are made !--said if they thought I was gay, why not contact one of the above who would verify that I enjoyed the company of a certain nurse from Wegberg--they did--he confirmed--as these two clinically brain dead assinine cretins were leaving-the parting shot--"it's best to stay straight if you can"--reply was "Never been anything else sunshine"--and was duly reminded of my lower rank--apology--no chance--and the evidence--I had dark hair and worked on a Cat 3 team--the guy they eventually got--was 20 years older than me, had a moustache and greying hair---superb powers of deduction here !
--will these little gems appear in Taffs Book--probably not as he seems to think his branch is beyond reproach.
The Ugly
Going on to Q one day and some minor prob with the Q pass. Little gets very jobsworth and lays down his "law"--fine--ignore but get annoyed with the little --who was actually wearing a kids sheriff's badge with his uniform as well 
About a week later, we, that's those of us involved from the Sqdn in this little "exchange" are in Roermond looking through the local "book shop" as we did from time to time--and who else is there--non other than bonzo himself---looking very avidly at the very, very wrong sort of literature--think, white, ghost, face and bowel movement when he felt a tap on his shoulder and saw a collection of Engineers behind him.
The Humourous---unintended
The expression on the plods face when the F/s former V crew chief told him to "P££s off son"--and when my mate repeated his words when asked to confirm by plod as in "P££s of or I'll deck yer"--and said crew chief nodded in agreement. Not worth trying to explain what a jet pipe fire was to the plod.
Stopped on the ring road at Bruggen for "speeding"-true--but warned for "eating an apple when driving"---stopped again at St Athan late one Friday afternoon when I managed to get to 100mph--just--on the peri- track travelling from West to East--asked plod to prove how fast I was going--said he couldn't--but is was very fast he thought !
All a long time ago now--but I have never forgotten the two "prime examples of being thick as pig manure and twice as dense" who accused me of being gay without any foundation.
The two who I knew socially through sport---great blokes and a pleasure to be with
The Bad
Called to the G'Room at RAF xxxx mid 70's--warned by C/T in advance not to sign / say anything. The accusation. You are gay. News to me but there you go. The "investigation / questions"--off to my room and the farce began " How often do you shower?--as often as req. as I am doing fuel leaks !--and "why do you have a large bottle of shampoo / large washing powder?"--because I am on the road ?--and "why are your jeans faded ?"--er, because that's the way they are made !--said if they thought I was gay, why not contact one of the above who would verify that I enjoyed the company of a certain nurse from Wegberg--they did--he confirmed--as these two clinically brain dead assinine cretins were leaving-the parting shot--"it's best to stay straight if you can"--reply was "Never been anything else sunshine"--and was duly reminded of my lower rank--apology--no chance--and the evidence--I had dark hair and worked on a Cat 3 team--the guy they eventually got--was 20 years older than me, had a moustache and greying hair---superb powers of deduction here !
--will these little gems appear in Taffs Book--probably not as he seems to think his branch is beyond reproach. The Ugly
Going on to Q one day and some minor prob with the Q pass. Little
gets very jobsworth and lays down his "law"--fine--ignore but get annoyed with the little --who was actually wearing a kids sheriff's badge with his uniform as well About a week later, we, that's those of us involved from the Sqdn in this little "exchange" are in Roermond looking through the local "book shop" as we did from time to time--and who else is there--non other than bonzo himself---looking very avidly at the very, very wrong sort of literature--think, white, ghost, face and bowel movement when he felt a tap on his shoulder and saw a collection of Engineers behind him. The Humourous---unintended
The expression on the plods face when the F/s former V crew chief told him to "P££s off son"--and when my mate repeated his words when asked to confirm by plod as in "P££s of or I'll deck yer"--and said crew chief nodded in agreement. Not worth trying to explain what a jet pipe fire was to the plod.
Stopped on the ring road at Bruggen for "speeding"-true--but warned for "eating an apple when driving"---stopped again at St Athan late one Friday afternoon when I managed to get to 100mph--just--on the peri- track travelling from West to East--asked plod to prove how fast I was going--said he couldn't--but is was very fast he thought !
All a long time ago now--but I have never forgotten the two "prime examples of being thick as pig manure and twice as dense" who accused me of being gay without any foundation.
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Ooooooh the queers,
One of these types was using a mechanical contraption one evening in order to get some satisfaction. Unfortunately he could not get it off. Was in great pain and went to SMC for assistance. MO attended, identified the problem and made a telephone call to the guardroom. Call out the duty MT fitter who was needed urgently at the SMC, with his tools to assist the MO.
I know, but that is what happened, no duff!
One of these types was using a mechanical contraption one evening in order to get some satisfaction. Unfortunately he could not get it off. Was in great pain and went to SMC for assistance. MO attended, identified the problem and made a telephone call to the guardroom. Call out the duty MT fitter who was needed urgently at the SMC, with his tools to assist the MO.
I know, but that is what happened, no duff!