RAF Police.
The good
The two who I knew socially through sport---great blokes and a pleasure to be with
The Bad
Called to the G'Room at RAF xxxx mid 70's--warned by C/T in advance not to sign / say anything. The accusation. You are gay. News to me but there you go. The "investigation / questions"--off to my room and the farce began " How often do you shower?--as often as req. as I am doing fuel leaks !--and "why do you have a large bottle of shampoo / large washing powder?"--because I am on the road ?--and "why are your jeans faded ?"--er, because that's the way they are made !--said if they thought I was gay, why not contact one of the above who would verify that I enjoyed the company of a certain nurse from Wegberg--they did--he confirmed--as these two clinically brain dead assinine cretins were leaving-the parting shot--"it's best to stay straight if you can"--reply was "Never been anything else sunshine"--and was duly reminded of my lower rank--apology--no chance--and the evidence--I had dark hair and worked on a Cat 3 team--the guy they eventually got--was 20 years older than me, had a moustache and greying hair---superb powers of deduction here !
--will these little gems appear in Taffs Book--probably not as he seems to think his branch is beyond reproach.
The Ugly
Going on to Q one day and some minor prob with the Q pass. Little
gets very jobsworth and lays down his "law"--fine--ignore but get annoyed with the little
--who was actually wearing a kids sheriff's badge with his uniform as well
About a week later, we, that's those of us involved from the Sqdn in this little "exchange" are in Roermond looking through the local "book shop" as we did from time to time--and who else is there--non other than bonzo himself---looking very avidly at the very, very wrong sort of literature--think, white, ghost, face and bowel movement when he felt a tap on his shoulder and saw a collection of Engineers behind him.
The Humourous---unintended
The expression on the plods face when the F/s former V crew chief told him to "P££s off son"--and when my mate repeated his words when asked to confirm by plod as in "P££s of or I'll deck yer"--and said crew chief nodded in agreement. Not worth trying to explain what a jet pipe fire was to the plod.
Stopped on the ring road at Bruggen for "speeding"-true--but warned for "eating an apple when driving"---stopped again at St Athan late one Friday afternoon when I managed to get to 100mph--just--on the peri- track travelling from West to East--asked plod to prove how fast I was going--said he couldn't--but is was very fast he thought !
All a long time ago now--but I have never forgotten the two "prime examples of being thick as pig manure and twice as dense" who accused me of being gay without any foundation.