Caption competition

[Kiltrash]

Peter suggests a game of Rock, Paper Scissors

[Kiltrash]

Why yes its a Bedford butchers delivery half tonner with additional gun slits in the body, but why do you ask Jonsey?

[Kiltrash]

No you see for a really vicious serve you have to bounce the ball low like this so your opponent cannot see how you are holding it

[Kiltrash]

Why yes IT is a gun in my pocket. But I am pleased to see you

[Kiltrash]

Ever since I lost my legs bailing out of a flaming spitfire I do get a bit if a twinge in the old tin legs Bob, your duties my man will be to give them a rub every soften

[Ascend Charlie]

"So, Sir, is everything in your pants made of tin?"

"Not all of it, I have a bit of wood as well..."

[Kiltrash]

As drinking on duty is not allowed Peter conceals the old man's half bottle of Johnny Walkers. Can you guess where it is children?

[Kiltrash]

10 minutes ago.... Peter please pop down the MO and get some of my little blue pills. He knows which ones I like....
Now.... Sorry sir MO is all out of stock of that medicine, Brexit you know, However he sent over some natural remedy, take one 3 times a day for a week

[treadigraph]

I say old boy, that photographic ass Snowdon isn't going to be on set I hope? Might be a tad embarrassing me being the ex as it were...

[Wander00]

Careful Sir, not in public please.....

[c52]

"I have to measure the length of your skirt to check that it complies with regulations, young lady. Happily these rings on my arm are just one inch apart."

[NutLoose]

"Don't look now but that chap behind you appears to be hovering with no legs"

[Wensleydale]

"I want a new pair of legs modelled on these....they are for wear with my pyjamas".

[Kiltrash]

We have come outside to discuss the top Secret Plan to get Churchills Desk 10 feet nearer Berlin. You know walls have ears and all that.... German Spy in background humming to appear innocent

[Kiltrash]

Spiv (Pike) in background leaning on the truck….Psst want buy some nylons?.... Grp Cap...Pop over there Harvey and get me some size XXL, don't want to draw attention to my fetish....

[NutLoose]

"You know when Howard Hughes was making his film the Outlaw, he tinkered around with Jane Russells underwear and produced the Worlds first underwired bra, one only thinks it is right we should tinker about in yours too Susanne, what do you think Kenneth?"

[Wander00]

Only if you ask nicely Sir, and when we are back in your office

[treadigraph]

Plummer says that after The Sound of Music he swore he'd never work with a blonde woman again but you've shown him several reasons why he should...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

So you say you just move this flap aside and then it goes in there? My God! Whatever will those boffins think of next!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Yes, yes, she's genuine. Ex stores. "WAAF, Officers, For the use of". Now make up your mind. I've got a truck load of these to get rid of.