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Caption competition

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Caption competition

Old 6th May 2017, 21:10
  #42601 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Southport
Posts: 1,050
For some reason the stewardess was unable to work out why every man on the plane needed help with their seat belt....
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Old 7th May 2017, 00:11
  #42602 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: In the workshop, Prune-whispering.
Age: 66
Posts: 740
"I'm not too sure either old boy. All I remember is that I was nodding off, and then that lady with an ar5e the size of a small planet walks by, lets one go, and now I can't find my clothes!"
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Old 7th May 2017, 10:47
  #42603 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,741
Cabbage Soup and Onion Rings for starters
Curry for main
It was just not going to end well.
racedo is online now  
Old 7th May 2017, 11:44
  #42604 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: UK
Posts: 726
A320 fleet grounded after reports of numerous cracks seen in cabin.
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Old 7th May 2017, 13:41
  #42605 (permalink)  

Evertonian
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: #3117# Ppruner of the Year Nominee 2005
Posts: 9,670


I hope its not cash only!
No worries, I've just seen where I can swipe the credit card...
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Old 7th May 2017, 13:47
  #42606 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: One Three Seven, Disco Heaven.
Age: 60
Posts: 1,278
So sorry old chap, but I need to get my bag from the overhead locker.
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Old 7th May 2017, 15:13
  #42607 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,553
Originally Posted by Dan Gerous View Post
So sorry old chap, but I need to get my bag from the overhead locker.
That's no way to talk about your wife
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Old 7th May 2017, 15:16
  #42608 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,553
As the aircraft climbed through 6,000 feet there was a rush for the toilets.
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Old 7th May 2017, 19:08
  #42609 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere flat
Age: 63
Posts: 3,759
United Airways security personnel will never grab us now!
Wensleydale is online now  
Old 8th May 2017, 08:07
  #42610 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Upper Gumtree
Posts: 519
Stewardesses are reporting a surprisingly high demand for their cocktail cherries.
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Old 8th May 2017, 09:09
  #42611 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,553
Just a load of boring old farts, look what it did to the passengers up front
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Old 8th May 2017, 09:50
  #42612 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Southport
Posts: 1,050
"... and in-flight entertainment is available here, here and here.....
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Old 8th May 2017, 10:32
  #42613 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 1998
Location: Mesopotamos
Posts: 1,219
Even the best of technique can't prevent skid-marks.
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Old 8th May 2017, 10:51
  #42614 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Off the map
Posts: 996
Is it here where I'm s'posed to plug me headsets?
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Old 8th May 2017, 10:55
  #42615 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Off the map
Posts: 996
"Ladies and Gents, for everybody's comfort please switch your cell phones to vibrate only"
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Old 8th May 2017, 15:58
  #42616 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: QLD - where drivers are yet to realise that the left lane goes to their destination too.
Posts: 2,070
According to the Moving Map Display that just walked past, it appears we're diverting to Hobart.
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Old 8th May 2017, 16:02
  #42617 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: QLD - where drivers are yet to realise that the left lane goes to their destination too.
Posts: 2,070
Ah, I see they were not referring to the aircraft when they advertised this as a wide body service.
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Old 8th May 2017, 16:51
  #42618 (permalink)  

Avoid imitations
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
Posts: 12,111
"And to complete our safety briefing, in the unlikely event of a requirement to use the emergency evacuation slides after landing, a small bottle of lubricating oil to ease your passage will be found adjacent to your life jacket. Please note that it is a criminal offence to use safety equipment for any other purpose...."
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Old 8th May 2017, 17:03
  #42619 (permalink)  
c52
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Surrey
Posts: 1,032
"There is a whistle on your life-jacket, however, on this flight, you probably won't need it to attract the attention of any passing sailors."

(Explanation of what the whistle is for heard on an Air UK flight many years ago).
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Old 8th May 2017, 17:05
  #42620 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,553
What do you mean, only salads and iced drinks?
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