Caption competition
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Postman Pat said, "I know there's a war on, but the mail will still get through."
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"Excuse me, Sir, but where does the Sergeant sit?"
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"PzKpfw II? ... stuff them, we're British!!"
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The original Chelsea Tractor 
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Following the bender the night before, Hoskins wonders where the hell he got it from.
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Hoskins realised his dreams of promotion had been squashed and his annual assessment of " I foresee your career progressing forward a little and on track" wasn't what he had envisaged.
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BAe respond to the MOD's request for a cheap and effective mole killer to use on the lawns at the MOD HQ's