From zero hours to airline pilot - my story.
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Then, two days before I finished at Corus, Julie dropped the bombshell. She wanted a divorce.
Most of my airline buddies are either single or divorced (me included).
For all of you out there wishing to change career and become pilots, I remember an old adage I was told years ago about life in the services:
'It's great if you're single, not so good if you're married but a nightmare if you have kids'.
In my experience of airline flying that's very true.
My wife at the time supported me through all my training over a number of years and was pleased that I succeeded - she just couldn't handle the disruptive lifestyle, the odd hours, the weeks away when I was in the sim. or on SEP courses and the fact I was never there for birthdays, Christmas or New Year, parents' evenings, school plays and the like.
Flying is a VERY selfish and disruptive occupation, so when you look at your wife and kids this Christmas, remember that in years to come you might wish they were still there as you fly your shiny jet at 5:00am on one fine New Year's Day!
This is a very bitter Post - but true.
I was just like you - I achieved my ambition and eventually flew my shiny jet - just lost my wife, child, house and savings in the process!
12 great years of flying and all the places and all the people - ALL EXPERIENCED ON MY OWN. They've all gone now and I'm left with a life-time of regrets.
Gave up flying and re-married so all is not lost!
But if I hadn't decided to become an airline pilot in the first place ...
Merry Christmas
FOK
Last edited by FlyingOfficerKite; 13th Dec 2009 at 20:18.
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Without wishing to under-estimate the effects of your divorce it seems to have been blip on the radar as far as your career to date is concerned.
The whole point of the story was to illustrate just how tough it can be getting to the right hand seat. The financial and emotional demands can be overwhelming, and people underestimate them at their peril. That point needs making, forcibly and repeatedly, if only for the many teenagers who seem to think it’s all as simple as getting mum and dad to throw £70k at Oxford, and hey presto, they’ll be given the keys to an Airbus. It has never been, and never will be that simple.
As someone who has benefitted from much advice and support through Pprune, I felt the least I could do was to offer some advice of my own, and in doing so, encourage and caution in equal measure. It’s now 18 months since I wrote that piece, and I am now a reasonably experienced FO with a reasonably secure job. I have never been happier, and on good days it’s a sheer pleasure to go to ‘work’. Flying is in my blood, and I would always support and encourage anyone with a similar passion.
But – and it’s a massive but – anyone planning on becoming a commercial pilot must - absolutely must - take account of all the potential pitfalls, and have a sound plan for dealing with them if and when they occur. Forewarned is forearmed, and I would strongly suggest planning for the worst case scenario.
There are many ‘blips on the radar’, and the chances are you’ll encounter a good few of them during your journey.
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G SXTY
I understand.
It is tough getting into the RHS and I was just as enthusiastic as you when I went through the 'process' back in the 90s.
Everything went well for me - exams passed, job obtained (although there was a gap of several years between the two events caused by the last recession!).
I went from AFI to turboprop to jet and achieved my ambition.
From a flying point of view I couldn't have wished for a better progression.
It's just the unexpected consequences of all this effort and enthusiasm and success can be that the other aspects of your life suffer as a result.
This is never intended, but the dynamics of a relationship and your private life in general undergo a mighty strain.
My family went from a '9 to 5' existence to the vagaries of airline rosters and training and found it just too much.
I gave up my flying career to try and save my marriage, but that placed an enormous strain on me - like giving a child a toy and then taking it away.
End result personal disaster.
Would I give up a good career for flying if I had my time again?
If I knew what the consequences were going to be - NO. I would just have had to settle for instucting or private flying. But then no one has the benefit of foresight.
All things being equal I would not have missed the experience of learning to fly and becoming an airline pilot for the World, but then I didn't know what I know now.
My advice - appreciate that flying training might be exciting whilst you're doing it - and the prospect of being a pilot is an interesting topic of conversation for both you and your partner/spouse. However the reality can be something quite different and unexpected.
I wonder if you 'lived' a pilot's roster for a month whether your partner would be quite so keen? For those of you considering changing career, why not practice this Christmas and New Year?
Start today. Tell your wife that you wont be able to attend your child's Christmas play because you have a roster change (tears and upset, but say you'll make up for it). Then say that you're 'flying' on Christmas Eve after all - but you'll be able to play with the children on New Year's Day instead.
Then go to bed at 0300 on a couple of nights and lay in bed until lunchtime because you're 'tired' on a couple more. Try being 'tired' and don't help out around the house on a few days just so she understands that you'll be fatigued quite a bit. Maybe throw in that you can't go on holiday at Easter like you used to because you have 2 days in the sim that week.
I've been there, done that, had the tears and disappointment - how many of you are brave enough to stand up to your wife and family and practice the 'airline roster' scenario this Christmas? None I would suggest. But get an airline job and it'll be a reality for you.
Some wifes are fine, obviously, as not all women are the same. However, those that are used to a routine find it a real stress as my wife did. The inability to plan more than a few weeks ahead did her head in.
All in all it just isn't a great life if you have a wife and kids, as I mentioned in my previous Post. Others will naturally have different, hopefully more pleasant experiences and who am I to say how it will be for you?
Flying is great, exciting, rewarding and a life achievement. It is bought at a price which for some proves too high a price to pay.
I understand.
It is tough getting into the RHS and I was just as enthusiastic as you when I went through the 'process' back in the 90s.
Everything went well for me - exams passed, job obtained (although there was a gap of several years between the two events caused by the last recession!).
I went from AFI to turboprop to jet and achieved my ambition.
From a flying point of view I couldn't have wished for a better progression.
It's just the unexpected consequences of all this effort and enthusiasm and success can be that the other aspects of your life suffer as a result.
This is never intended, but the dynamics of a relationship and your private life in general undergo a mighty strain.
My family went from a '9 to 5' existence to the vagaries of airline rosters and training and found it just too much.
I gave up my flying career to try and save my marriage, but that placed an enormous strain on me - like giving a child a toy and then taking it away.
End result personal disaster.
Would I give up a good career for flying if I had my time again?
If I knew what the consequences were going to be - NO. I would just have had to settle for instucting or private flying. But then no one has the benefit of foresight.
All things being equal I would not have missed the experience of learning to fly and becoming an airline pilot for the World, but then I didn't know what I know now.
My advice - appreciate that flying training might be exciting whilst you're doing it - and the prospect of being a pilot is an interesting topic of conversation for both you and your partner/spouse. However the reality can be something quite different and unexpected.
I wonder if you 'lived' a pilot's roster for a month whether your partner would be quite so keen? For those of you considering changing career, why not practice this Christmas and New Year?
Start today. Tell your wife that you wont be able to attend your child's Christmas play because you have a roster change (tears and upset, but say you'll make up for it). Then say that you're 'flying' on Christmas Eve after all - but you'll be able to play with the children on New Year's Day instead.
Then go to bed at 0300 on a couple of nights and lay in bed until lunchtime because you're 'tired' on a couple more. Try being 'tired' and don't help out around the house on a few days just so she understands that you'll be fatigued quite a bit. Maybe throw in that you can't go on holiday at Easter like you used to because you have 2 days in the sim that week.
I've been there, done that, had the tears and disappointment - how many of you are brave enough to stand up to your wife and family and practice the 'airline roster' scenario this Christmas? None I would suggest. But get an airline job and it'll be a reality for you.
Some wifes are fine, obviously, as not all women are the same. However, those that are used to a routine find it a real stress as my wife did. The inability to plan more than a few weeks ahead did her head in.
All in all it just isn't a great life if you have a wife and kids, as I mentioned in my previous Post. Others will naturally have different, hopefully more pleasant experiences and who am I to say how it will be for you?
Flying is great, exciting, rewarding and a life achievement. It is bought at a price which for some proves too high a price to pay.
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Great piece of writing and in some years time i shall be looking out for the book..
Congrats on the story so far and i hope it runs smoothly henceforth.
It's always nice to look back and remember how you got to where you are and to put life as it is in perspective. Helps on the bad days as much as the good ones. The elation of that call is one no one will ever forget and the though of it with out a doubt will bring tears to your eyes for many years to come.
It is nice to share here and on the line these things that we as pilots have been through and it is always surprising to find out how similar the emotional roller-coaster is for many of us.
The first job has to be the key and the best feeling but you are still very much on the roller-coaster. One year in my first company folded in a media storm and i can guarantee you that was one of the worst experiences of my life no job no pay loan repayments, mortgage, and all the other expenses of life. We in this industry are on a journey and that is what you have to remember there will be hard times and there will be good times i just hope your good times will be in greater number than your hard times...
And for those reading that are yet to experience the good times i wish you all the best of luck and hope the new year will be the best of your life.
PS one year on from my company going down i've been flying for a new company for 6 months and smiling as much as i can.
Congrats on the story so far and i hope it runs smoothly henceforth.
It's always nice to look back and remember how you got to where you are and to put life as it is in perspective. Helps on the bad days as much as the good ones. The elation of that call is one no one will ever forget and the though of it with out a doubt will bring tears to your eyes for many years to come.
It is nice to share here and on the line these things that we as pilots have been through and it is always surprising to find out how similar the emotional roller-coaster is for many of us.
The first job has to be the key and the best feeling but you are still very much on the roller-coaster. One year in my first company folded in a media storm and i can guarantee you that was one of the worst experiences of my life no job no pay loan repayments, mortgage, and all the other expenses of life. We in this industry are on a journey and that is what you have to remember there will be hard times and there will be good times i just hope your good times will be in greater number than your hard times...
And for those reading that are yet to experience the good times i wish you all the best of luck and hope the new year will be the best of your life.
PS one year on from my company going down i've been flying for a new company for 6 months and smiling as much as i can.
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A great post that I was able to identify with immediately. Like you I have the same dream and I am in the very early stages of PPL training at Stapleford. 2/3 hours per month is all I can afford to do also.
Reading a lot of posts on here had left me feeling disillusioned, wondering whether I should be pursuing a dream that I would have to fund at my own, large, expense. I am now in no doubt that I should stick it out, even if my PPL does take 2 years to complete.
Thank you for sharing your experience, it was the tonic I have been looking for.
A great post that I was able to identify with immediately. Like you I have the same dream and I am in the very early stages of PPL training at Stapleford. 2/3 hours per month is all I can afford to do also.
Reading a lot of posts on here had left me feeling disillusioned, wondering whether I should be pursuing a dream that I would have to fund at my own, large, expense. I am now in no doubt that I should stick it out, even if my PPL does take 2 years to complete.
Thank you for sharing your experience, it was the tonic I have been looking for.
Last edited by munners455; 1st Apr 2010 at 10:43.
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Great post and a sensible warts and all story which certainly mirrors my own way into the industry, even my first solo was at Stableford, probably in the same c150, though I did it in 1985!
What comes across to me is how luck and timing play such a big part in our lives no matter how hard you work. I hit the big early 90's recession and took a while to get employed, as happened to many at this time. Yet a mate of mine with no jet time, chatted to the right person and ended up in Virgin as a SO. If you are unemployed at the moment, keep trying as everyone gets lucky eventually.
Great post and a sensible warts and all story which certainly mirrors my own way into the industry, even my first solo was at Stableford, probably in the same c150, though I did it in 1985!
What comes across to me is how luck and timing play such a big part in our lives no matter how hard you work. I hit the big early 90's recession and took a while to get employed, as happened to many at this time. Yet a mate of mine with no jet time, chatted to the right person and ended up in Virgin as a SO. If you are unemployed at the moment, keep trying as everyone gets lucky eventually.
