Funny comments made by students
 

One of my students made some interesting statement. "I'm not allowed to use my cellular while driving. Now they want to place a ban on smoking, eating and drinking while driving. And you are seriously asking me to do radio communication, navigate and fly this thing.:ok:

Made my day...

LOL - He has a point though :D

Good one :D

Female student learning to hover and having difficulty. .

"oh. . you do it!!"

:hmm:

Female student who when asked..."Can you smell oil"? replied..."Yes, O,I,L".

How we laughed in the crewroom after!

Me: "Simulated engine failure"

Stude: (opens throttle) "Nah, the engine's fine, don't worry" :\

Student planned a navex in a C150 and found the ground speed on one leg to be 145 knots.

Asks her instructor: 'Can the aircraft take that?'

How low do you get before you land? :ugh:

Bone dry ATC to student flying C152 in circuit at busy FL flight school: "Cessna two six romeo, have you really been hijacked or are you just kiddin' me on? Squawk 1200."

SB;)

Also from ATC (radar unit) on a student navex "cy instructor" "CY instructor go ahead" - "do you want me to say something", "CY instructor - no thank you". And still the student did not realise she was lost!:ugh:

Student declared emergency at Cranfield a few years ago, in a C150/152 with the flaps not working.

Tower asked to confirm it was an emergency, student repeats: 'mayday mayday mayday, my flaps don't work'.

For those of you who don't know Cranfield, 1800 m of hard runway. Hardly an issue in a flapless C150/152.

After uneventful landing with emergency services in attendance, tower asks: 'Can you confirm you are happy to taxi back to parking without flaps?'

Priceless!

Me to instructor as he gets out of right door prior to first solo:

"Where the **** do you think you're going? You get your **** right back in here....NOW!"

But what a buzz!

Touch and go...
 

Scenario: stude 'landed' with a thump after one of those holdoffs about 4ft above the ground which they seem to like to do occasionally. C152 u/c went to full twang then absorbed the abuse manfully.

Me: 'We're down then K?'

Stude: 'We didn't bounce!'

Me: 'Meteorites don't bounce, K.....'

Me, myself on a night rating instruction flight, around 30 secs after instructor had flipped the master switch off:

Hey, both fuel gauges show empty tanks ! It took me approx 3 milliseconds to realize how stupid that was ! :\

I recently chopped the power on a fairly good student at 2000'AGL right above the nearly 1km runway at EGPG. Noone else in the circuit, not a breath of wind, I've even called a glide approach to land for him.

Me "So where are we going to land"

Student (blind panic) "How about that field there?" . He points to a tiny field with cows, and power lines in it directly next to the runway.

Me "Are you sure?"

Student "Yes"

Student proceeds to fly me towards field down to 100 feet when I call a go around. I even stared at him looking bewildered the whole way down. I give up!

Gotta love em!

OK, not a student but a trial lesson did once ask

'Is flying affected by weather?'

Actual conditions were wind 30 gusting 40, horizontal rain and a 200' cloud base and nothing could convince her that rescheduling would be a good plan

Bet a quick low level circuit would've.....

PF

A long time ago I asked a student if he knew what an Unusual Attitude was? He said this " An Unusual Attitude is when you have the hood on and can't find the VOR" That guy never did get a pilot certificate as I recall.

whilst doing aerodynamics, a student replied to the question
"where are slats found?"
with
"down the back makeing the coffee"

Student on a landaway lesson at White Waltham, had clocked up in excess of 20 hours on PPL syllabus

Me at food / drinks counter about to order myself a tea

Q - What would you like to drink
Student - I'll have a pint of Guinness please (which he did have)

Made me laugh at the time

On a navex one day a student and I saw a BAE146 at a regional airport. Having recently studied aerody and knowing the student was not familiar with this aircraft, I asked him why were the wings sloping downwards (anhedral).
His reply was "there a four engines for such a small plane"

Me: Yeah, so!!!
Student: Well the engines would be too heavy for the wings

Regular one from studes,

"You were right you know!"

I must look like I don't know what I'm talking about.:(

Or my favourite

"It's getting dark early tonight isn't it?"
It was near sunset and he still had his sunnies on!:}

Gents, I am an instructor now but let me share with you my most embarrasing moment outside the bedroom.
A couple of weeks after my PPL I did an aerobatics course on a Robin 2160. Pre-JAA, aerobatics were a requirement to obtain a CPL in my country to make you used to unusual attitudes I guess. The R2160 has no doors, you slide the front part of the window forward to open the cockpit, the back part of the window is fixed to the fuselage.
Picture this: the day of the exam my examiner, my instructor and my fellow students are sitting on a sunny terrace of the flying club. The Robin 2160 is parked just in front of the terrace. I am strapping myself in and am ready to close the sliding window.... In my nervousity, I reach behind me in an attempt to slide the window forward to close the cockpit... nothing happens, it seemed to be stuck somewhere, I thought... after several attempts I decided to unstrap the 5-point safety harness and get up in order to have more grip to slide the cockpit shut... everybody on the terrace is looking very strange at me but I decide to remain COOL:cool: ... After three hard pulls on the part of the window which is fixed to the fuselage, it started to dawn on me that I had to pull the front part backwards to close the cockpit:ugh: :D :ugh: :D
My friends and instructor where rolling on the floor cracking themselves up. The examiner was respectfully looking in an other direction.
BUT, I managed to grab myself together and did my display overhead the runway and got my aerobatics certificate!!!:ok:
My instructor, when he teaches "Human factors", is still using this story in the classroom, without using my name I hope:sad: , to demonstrate how people / pilots can make incredible stupid mistakes when they are under stress.
If you want to know my most embarrasing moment inside the bedroom, I suggest you PM me :O

I find it a 'funny comment' that an instructor uses "window" when talking about an aircraft canopy.:}

foxmoth,
both points taken: my 'funny moment' en verrouillant la verriere was slightly off topic.
Cheers mate!

Sorry, couldn't resist it :ok:

Student..."This is fantastic"

2 minutes later and 25 minutes from base he throws up over everything!

Years ago, while instructing in a T-42 (Baron B-55), the student was given a simulated engine failure on downwind. As was the practice, the student had to secure the engine and report the situation to the others in the pattern. His response was..."Army Charlie 123...downwind with a "stimulated" single engine".

Many years ago on a nav ex student lost the plot and was lost. I said if you were on your own what would you do the reply was fly south snd pick up the coastline.Not a bad reply because the airport was on the south coast only east and west to think about. Anyway I said what would you do If you were on a landaway.After a much heated debate and going thru every action possible the student said I would call D+D and ask for help.OK I said its the radio call we have briefed on and tell them the truth as you would if you were solo. MAD DAY MAD DAY MAD DAY callsign I AM LOST!:mad: :mad: :mad: :ugh:

Forced landings without power with a student telling him that we warm the engine every 500 ft as it is only simulated. Student carries out drills and warms engine and then says to me 'If we had a real engine failure would we still bother to warm the engine'

Orbital
 

That one is my favourite so far.

Singing during Solo
 

On asking one of my students if everything had gone ok after completing her 1st solo she said that it gone off without a hitch and proceeded to tell me she'd actually sung the whole way round. After further questioning I discovered that her initial choice was going to be 'I believe I can fly' but not wanting to tempt fate she'd opted for 'I will survive' instead. Oh how I laughed. :D

Ab Initio to tower 'XXX clear to taxi'

Tower 'XXX state your present position.'

Student 'I'm over here.'

Student - "Mayday Mayday Mayday, G-ABCD, I have an engine failure..."

ATC - "Roger G-CD when able say your position"

Student - "I'm at the holding point runway 20."

D/W in cct, near PPL student nearly jumps out his seat: "F&^K, theres a plane RIGHT THERE!!"

Me: "Where!??!"

S: "Right in front.......Wait..Oh, its just a truck"

One I heard over the radio while training at Sanford,Florida,a heavy training envionment:-

Tower: November xxxx,what are your intentions?

Chinese student (heavy accent):Ah...Ah...my intentions....intentions to be ailine pilot......

The Gorilla
 

Now thats funny.

I just got finished with the required training for a ppl student,
I told him "we're finished with the dual instruction, the only thing left is the checkride preparation after you've done your solo cross country flights and that's it"

He was surprised, and said.

"So a private pilot doesn't know jack sh_it"

Well I've got my skills test on Monday, and I don't know him either. Should I be worried?

Female pilots eh??
 

Well I can't help but notice that quite a few of the funny stories are about female students. I'd like you "gents" (as one of you addresses us readers) to consider that just maybe us girls are willing to say the stupid thing or look stupid and as a result learn from it - rather than the plenty of guys I have heard responding to ATC (and I mean commercial pilots too) who clearly haven't a clue what they have just agreed to. So I say "Go girls!" Don't be afraid of asking the stupid question - it might just save your life....and the guys were probably thinking it and just too macho to say anything.

Don't know why my quote button isn't showing???

Fredfred said
Female pilots eh??







Any of you guys want to help him out????