101 Ways to Annoy an Instructor
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: U.K.
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MJ when are you being beatified? I didn't see your name on the Popes list last week!!
There are the odd occasions when a good bollocking is required, but they are fairly few and far between and usually reserved for people with attitude problems NOT for students finding the course difficult.
A wise man once said "if you don't pass we've both failed, you've failed to learn and I've failed to teach you."
Sums up a good instructor really.
There are the odd occasions when a good bollocking is required, but they are fairly few and far between and usually reserved for people with attitude problems NOT for students finding the course difficult.
A wise man once said "if you don't pass we've both failed, you've failed to learn and I've failed to teach you."
Sums up a good instructor really.
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New Zealand
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exasperation is part of the job
I have gotten a little rotten once or twice with someone after very long sessions, and felt like a total prick afterwards. Its always important that your student knows that no one is perfect even us instructors. Progress is all we can expect to see not perfection.
One thing that annoy's me though would have to be students that dont take their own time out to prepare and expect to be held by the hand all lesson. They should really be sent away to prepare properly and re-booked for a later lesson.
One thing that annoy's me though would have to be students that dont take their own time out to prepare and expect to be held by the hand all lesson. They should really be sent away to prepare properly and re-booked for a later lesson.
Obviously a good instructor should not let a student's bad habits get to him/her but as been said we are human!
There is however a minority of students who seem to expect the instructor to do all the work. It's as though they don't really understand the nature of learning and the "rules" of the game. Dare I say it but some of this may have come from the new culture of education that everything has to be easy. Let's face the fact that the average student is going to find bits of the syllabus challenging and that they should not expect to improve with every lesson so long as they have learned something new.
My feeling is that to a broad extent instructors are facilitators (particularly as the student progresses in learning) and that we are there to mirror back to the student how to solve his own problems and take ownership of command,
There is however a minority of students who seem to expect the instructor to do all the work. It's as though they don't really understand the nature of learning and the "rules" of the game. Dare I say it but some of this may have come from the new culture of education that everything has to be easy. Let's face the fact that the average student is going to find bits of the syllabus challenging and that they should not expect to improve with every lesson so long as they have learned something new.
My feeling is that to a broad extent instructors are facilitators (particularly as the student progresses in learning) and that we are there to mirror back to the student how to solve his own problems and take ownership of command,
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Fabulous! really had a good laugh reading some of these posts...
The Instructor exasperation cracked me up.... I only had a couple of students who really did my nut... (The vast majority are a real pleasure, but that makes for dull reading.)
Here are a few more....
Inst. "Er no, the idea was to puke in the bag I just gave you"
Student "My Daddy said I should be solo by now."
Trial flight "So, do you want to be a commercial pilot?
So many stories...For the latest check CHIRP!
Cant believe some of the stuff you read over the WWW.... usually I only divulge over an ale!
The Instructor exasperation cracked me up.... I only had a couple of students who really did my nut... (The vast majority are a real pleasure, but that makes for dull reading.)
Here are a few more....
Inst. "Er no, the idea was to puke in the bag I just gave you"
Student "My Daddy said I should be solo by now."
Trial flight "So, do you want to be a commercial pilot?
So many stories...For the latest check CHIRP!
Cant believe some of the stuff you read over the WWW.... usually I only divulge over an ale!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: UK
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A student, likeable bloke, turned up & asked " do you mind if we watch the Grand Prix instead??? " Hmmm, let me think about that!
Instructing, enjoy while you can, give VFM, keep current & enjoy even more when you do the odd TL having aquired an airline position
& dont let them TL's get you down by constistently questioning your decision not to go due to weather ( on a safety &'value-for-money' basis ), then state how it looks perfectly fine to them and its sunny where they are
Instructing, enjoy while you can, give VFM, keep current & enjoy even more when you do the odd TL having aquired an airline position
& dont let them TL's get you down by constistently questioning your decision not to go due to weather ( on a safety &'value-for-money' basis ), then state how it looks perfectly fine to them and its sunny where they are
Join Date: Mar 1999
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The students I can't abide are the ones who don't want to do better. "But the flight test standards are +/- 100'. I didn't go past 95'. You're just trying to make money off me."
Join Date: Dec 1999
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How about:
Turn up late, wearing only a thong, a pair of white silk elbow length gloves and flourescent flip flops. (Also a set of epaulettes if flying at Oxford)
Call him 'a dirty lothario' and allege that his mother was a hamster.
Guff loudly in the cockpit after eating a curry the previous evening (N/A in open cockpit aeoplanes)
Speak to ATC in Flemish.
Take the written exams, but write with a Rowney 'Black Prince' pencil.
Have a nervous tick.
Use different phonetic alphabet (A=Amoeba, B=Binky, C=Chopsticks, D=Dibble etc etc)
After the lesson, run away cackling loudly after paying him with jelly beans.
and so on.........
I need to see a doctor
Turn up late, wearing only a thong, a pair of white silk elbow length gloves and flourescent flip flops. (Also a set of epaulettes if flying at Oxford)
Call him 'a dirty lothario' and allege that his mother was a hamster.
Guff loudly in the cockpit after eating a curry the previous evening (N/A in open cockpit aeoplanes)
Speak to ATC in Flemish.
Take the written exams, but write with a Rowney 'Black Prince' pencil.
Have a nervous tick.
Use different phonetic alphabet (A=Amoeba, B=Binky, C=Chopsticks, D=Dibble etc etc)
After the lesson, run away cackling loudly after paying him with jelly beans.
and so on.........
I need to see a doctor
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Glos
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And I thought it was just my students...
1. Having the snottiest, phlegmish cold you've ever seen, saying they've been in bed all week and have only got up to go flying - oh, and could they borrow your headset.
2. Pulling mixture knob three or four times a flight.
3. Doing a walk-around that could double as an annual (but still miss that prop ding).
4. Ask if you'll ever become a commercial pilot.
Note: I'd suggest putting anger management on the ATPL syllabus, but I guess there's no point until we decide to be commercial pilots.
5. When asked "why didn't you F L A R E when I said?" claim the intercom's broken - even though their RT's been perfect on the easy bits.
6. Say how sorry they are that you don't have time to eat during the day - then follow up with "but you're not eating during my slot"
7. Phoning up for you to do the 'A' check so they can have more of a lay-in.
8. "My best friend flies tornadoes and he says..."
9. "I'm so much better when you're not here" - followed by a good push forward on the third bounce
10. And then my favourite...turn up half hour late, nav ex not planned, so start planning, forget everything on CRP, go for cup of tea, write flog out again so it's neat, take everything out to aircraft (after being reminded to take keys and headset), come back to get headset, get as far as primer on checks, come back to get keys. Need fuel, at bowser go through internal checks again as if they've never been seen before, accidentally unclip seat belt while checking trim set for take-off, at holding point adjust seat, change glasses for tinted glasses and remove coat, at pre-take off vital actions accidentally unclip seat belt while checking trim set for take-off, sun goes in so change tinted glasses for normal ones, taxy to hold point braking against power, spend five minutes wondering whether the button on the PA28 park brake needs to be pushed in to engage it, when ready to move fail to realise the park brake button needs to be pushed to disengage brake, use both hands to wrench the park brake handle off its shaft, give park brake handle to instructor, realise that throughout this time the aircraft has trundled over the hold point, ask instructor if that's okay. Until eventually, those wonderful, blissful words are transmitted "G-XX ready for departure" followed by "I need to go to the toilet"
11. Oh yes, and student of point 10 complaining to the owner that you can't keep on top of your time keeping.
Keep 'em coming.
1. Having the snottiest, phlegmish cold you've ever seen, saying they've been in bed all week and have only got up to go flying - oh, and could they borrow your headset.
2. Pulling mixture knob three or four times a flight.
3. Doing a walk-around that could double as an annual (but still miss that prop ding).
4. Ask if you'll ever become a commercial pilot.
Note: I'd suggest putting anger management on the ATPL syllabus, but I guess there's no point until we decide to be commercial pilots.
5. When asked "why didn't you F L A R E when I said?" claim the intercom's broken - even though their RT's been perfect on the easy bits.
6. Say how sorry they are that you don't have time to eat during the day - then follow up with "but you're not eating during my slot"
7. Phoning up for you to do the 'A' check so they can have more of a lay-in.
8. "My best friend flies tornadoes and he says..."
9. "I'm so much better when you're not here" - followed by a good push forward on the third bounce
10. And then my favourite...turn up half hour late, nav ex not planned, so start planning, forget everything on CRP, go for cup of tea, write flog out again so it's neat, take everything out to aircraft (after being reminded to take keys and headset), come back to get headset, get as far as primer on checks, come back to get keys. Need fuel, at bowser go through internal checks again as if they've never been seen before, accidentally unclip seat belt while checking trim set for take-off, at holding point adjust seat, change glasses for tinted glasses and remove coat, at pre-take off vital actions accidentally unclip seat belt while checking trim set for take-off, sun goes in so change tinted glasses for normal ones, taxy to hold point braking against power, spend five minutes wondering whether the button on the PA28 park brake needs to be pushed in to engage it, when ready to move fail to realise the park brake button needs to be pushed to disengage brake, use both hands to wrench the park brake handle off its shaft, give park brake handle to instructor, realise that throughout this time the aircraft has trundled over the hold point, ask instructor if that's okay. Until eventually, those wonderful, blissful words are transmitted "G-XX ready for departure" followed by "I need to go to the toilet"
11. Oh yes, and student of point 10 complaining to the owner that you can't keep on top of your time keeping.
Keep 'em coming.
Join Date: Jul 2000
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"......so it`s 45 hrs for the PPL ....well `ill only need to do 20 cos I `ve completed MS Flight sim......do you want to have a look at the certificates that I`ve brought with me....???"
The Original Whirly
Join Date: Feb 1999
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Think that because they've flown with you twice and you've been really friendly, that gives them the right to phone you at 10.30pm and again at 7.15am to discuss their personal problems and tell you their life history, assuming you are now great buddies. This is all just after after you've breathed a sigh of relief at the end of the lesson, where they committed at least half the offences mentioned above, and you decided that you need a week to recover in order to be your usual friendly self.
Join Date: Apr 2002
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Trial Lessons
Do these ring a bell:-
Trial Lesson: Do you do this full time?
Instructor: No, just at the weekends.
Trial Lesson: Oh, so you're not a proper pilot then.
Instructor.....AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH
Coming back after trip to land.
Trial Lesson: Do you fly proper planes as well?
Instructor: .....AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH
Coming back after trip to land.
Trial Lesson: Don't you want to be a real pilot ?
Instructor: .....AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH
Trial Lesson: How long have you been flying for?
Instructor: A few years now.
Trial Lesson: Don't you want to fly real planes?
Instructor: .....AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH
The list goes on
Cheers,
LL
Trial Lesson: Do you do this full time?
Instructor: No, just at the weekends.
Trial Lesson: Oh, so you're not a proper pilot then.
Instructor.....AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH
Coming back after trip to land.
Trial Lesson: Do you fly proper planes as well?
Instructor: .....AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH
Coming back after trip to land.
Trial Lesson: Don't you want to be a real pilot ?
Instructor: .....AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH
Trial Lesson: How long have you been flying for?
Instructor: A few years now.
Trial Lesson: Don't you want to fly real planes?
Instructor: .....AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH
The list goes on
Cheers,
LL
Join Date: Nov 1998
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The ones that make me "smile":
1) They have a crush on a particular instructor and display
overt disappointment when they have to fly with another
instructor.
2) The ones who WILL continue to forget to buy a 50p note pad
and WILL insist on looking at your notes when they read back
ATC info.
3) The ones who "usually" take the key with them when carrying
out the pre-flight EXCEPT when it is freezing and you have
BOTH just shut the doors and strapped in <argghh!>
4) The lovely ones who continually interrupt during the debrief
with pathetic excuses as to why they did NOT listen to you
during the pre-flight briefing <arggh !>
5) Shock horror at the one who announced "that's pretty !" when
shown what an announciator panel test switch did......
1) They have a crush on a particular instructor and display
overt disappointment when they have to fly with another
instructor.
2) The ones who WILL continue to forget to buy a 50p note pad
and WILL insist on looking at your notes when they read back
ATC info.
3) The ones who "usually" take the key with them when carrying
out the pre-flight EXCEPT when it is freezing and you have
BOTH just shut the doors and strapped in <argghh!>
4) The lovely ones who continually interrupt during the debrief
with pathetic excuses as to why they did NOT listen to you
during the pre-flight briefing <arggh !>
5) Shock horror at the one who announced "that's pretty !" when
shown what an announciator panel test switch did......
Join Date: Nov 1999
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1) Walking out to the a/c for a GH trip with the intention of throwing in some aeros to find student sitting strapped in, engine running and checks complete with several kilos worth of Transair catalogue purchases piled unsecured in the back.
2) Students who decide they're going around on a PFL regardless of whether or not I reckon they're going to 'get in' to their chosen field...
3) Carefully briefing the student that their initial call for a zone transit to EDI Approach at 1700 on a Friday should be as brief as possible, followed by nod of understanding and then capped-off by them pressing the PTT and giving an epic 7 minute ramble of umms and errs interspersed with the details of every turning point on their 2 hour navex, what they ate for breakfast and the names of their pets, during which at least 2 IFR inbounds fly through the localiser. Desperately try to prise students thumb from PTT switch.
4) Despite repeated briefings on the perils of going IMC as a student, sitting on a nav trip as your student manages without fail to find a solitary cloud, penetrate it, and then after a 10 second delay ask what they should do now...
And more Trial Flight gems...
"Is this your plane?"
"Do you have a proper job?"
"Is this your hobby?"
"Where's the clutch?"
"We don't seem to be moving" (at 3000' doing 90 kts)
"Are those clouds?" (I really was asked that once...)
And as has already been mentioned, make sure you give no warning whatsoever before honking your lunch over the instrument panel and my left arm.
And finally... I once had the mother of a 14 year-old boy write a letter of complaint to the flying school because I had not allowed her son to land the a/c unassisted on a trial lesson even though 'he'd done it on his computer at home'.
Still enjoy instructing after 4 years of it though
ST
2) Students who decide they're going around on a PFL regardless of whether or not I reckon they're going to 'get in' to their chosen field...
3) Carefully briefing the student that their initial call for a zone transit to EDI Approach at 1700 on a Friday should be as brief as possible, followed by nod of understanding and then capped-off by them pressing the PTT and giving an epic 7 minute ramble of umms and errs interspersed with the details of every turning point on their 2 hour navex, what they ate for breakfast and the names of their pets, during which at least 2 IFR inbounds fly through the localiser. Desperately try to prise students thumb from PTT switch.
4) Despite repeated briefings on the perils of going IMC as a student, sitting on a nav trip as your student manages without fail to find a solitary cloud, penetrate it, and then after a 10 second delay ask what they should do now...
And more Trial Flight gems...
"Is this your plane?"
"Do you have a proper job?"
"Is this your hobby?"
"Where's the clutch?"
"We don't seem to be moving" (at 3000' doing 90 kts)
"Are those clouds?" (I really was asked that once...)
And as has already been mentioned, make sure you give no warning whatsoever before honking your lunch over the instrument panel and my left arm.
And finally... I once had the mother of a 14 year-old boy write a letter of complaint to the flying school because I had not allowed her son to land the a/c unassisted on a trial lesson even though 'he'd done it on his computer at home'.
Still enjoy instructing after 4 years of it though
ST
Join Date: Nov 2003
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One word Radio
Most students will do one of three things on the radio
1. Right after you tell them it is a push to talk switch not a push to thing switch they will just push it and stop all brain functioning.
2. They will hit the ptt switch right after someone has started a call to tower or the tower is trying to contact someone. ( if they are really good they do 1 and 2 at the same time. )
3. The most favorite thing is when you tell them call approach, and then while explaining what they are to say to them they actually call approach while you are talking and they never take their eyes off fo you, and are like now what.?? rrrrrrr
Students gotta love em, we've all been there just wish they could watch a video of stupid mistakes and keep from doing it.
CB
1. Right after you tell them it is a push to talk switch not a push to thing switch they will just push it and stop all brain functioning.
2. They will hit the ptt switch right after someone has started a call to tower or the tower is trying to contact someone. ( if they are really good they do 1 and 2 at the same time. )
3. The most favorite thing is when you tell them call approach, and then while explaining what they are to say to them they actually call approach while you are talking and they never take their eyes off fo you, and are like now what.?? rrrrrrr
Students gotta love em, we've all been there just wish they could watch a video of stupid mistakes and keep from doing it.
CB
Join Date: Mar 2000
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One more,
On stalling exercises, especially with PPL's who've had a licence for a while, get them too approach the stall, but say "Don't recover until I say." and as soon as they feel any buffet or the stall warner gives a slight peep, they ram the stick/column forward as hard as possible causing you to smack your head aginst the roof/canopy. Every time.......
On stalling exercises, especially with PPL's who've had a licence for a while, get them too approach the stall, but say "Don't recover until I say." and as soon as they feel any buffet or the stall warner gives a slight peep, they ram the stick/column forward as hard as possible causing you to smack your head aginst the roof/canopy. Every time.......
Join Date: Jan 2003
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From the student's point of view:
Taking the afternoon off work on a glorious day, arriving at the club to find your instructor 'has a migraine', when you know full well he was on the sauce until the wee hours the night before!
As the student is attempting to try a diversion on the map, performing S turns and then asking why the line isn't straight.
Moaning about pay (every lesson)
As the poor student is carefully maintaining height, airspeed and track, saying 'I have control', standing the a/c on it's wingtip and pointing out some disused airfield before handing control back to the student 500ft lower, at 85 knots and 10 degrees off-track. Then saying 'height!'
Contradicting everything the last instructor said.
Never buying a round as 'you're skint' but assuring the student you'll buy next time.
Continually giving the student a knackered old dog to fly, whilst telling him 'it's the pride of the fleet' and then sniggering at the studie's gullibility with your fellow instructors!
And the cardinal sin, inviting the student for a drink, getting them to pay and then disappearing off to the corner of the bar with your mates / fellow instructors / airfield employees, leaving the student to speak to Reginald, the idiot savant spotter with a personal hygiene problem. Then sniggering at the studie's gullibility!
BTW, no longer a student!
Taking the afternoon off work on a glorious day, arriving at the club to find your instructor 'has a migraine', when you know full well he was on the sauce until the wee hours the night before!
As the student is attempting to try a diversion on the map, performing S turns and then asking why the line isn't straight.
Moaning about pay (every lesson)
As the poor student is carefully maintaining height, airspeed and track, saying 'I have control', standing the a/c on it's wingtip and pointing out some disused airfield before handing control back to the student 500ft lower, at 85 knots and 10 degrees off-track. Then saying 'height!'
Contradicting everything the last instructor said.
Never buying a round as 'you're skint' but assuring the student you'll buy next time.
Continually giving the student a knackered old dog to fly, whilst telling him 'it's the pride of the fleet' and then sniggering at the studie's gullibility with your fellow instructors!
And the cardinal sin, inviting the student for a drink, getting them to pay and then disappearing off to the corner of the bar with your mates / fellow instructors / airfield employees, leaving the student to speak to Reginald, the idiot savant spotter with a personal hygiene problem. Then sniggering at the studie's gullibility!
BTW, no longer a student!
Guest
Posts: n/a
Best student ever................
The geezer who turned up for a trial lesson claiming to be a tornado pilot who had,'hit his head whilst ejecting' and was at the institute of aviation medicine at farnborough ,shades of 'goose' in top gun thinks I.
Pressed on the details makes up some imaginary squadron down at St Mawgan:instructor covertly takes spanner from school tool box just in case....
Keeps talking about 'scuds',refuses to land plane,refuses to show logbooks.
Enquires reveal,surprise,surprise=no one at farnborough has heard of him.
two weeks later Hampshire police call and ask if we know this character as he has dissapeared with £3000 of his girlfriends cash.
Anybody else had a problem with walter mitties ?
The geezer who turned up for a trial lesson claiming to be a tornado pilot who had,'hit his head whilst ejecting' and was at the institute of aviation medicine at farnborough ,shades of 'goose' in top gun thinks I.
Pressed on the details makes up some imaginary squadron down at St Mawgan:instructor covertly takes spanner from school tool box just in case....
Keeps talking about 'scuds',refuses to land plane,refuses to show logbooks.
Enquires reveal,surprise,surprise=no one at farnborough has heard of him.
two weeks later Hampshire police call and ask if we know this character as he has dissapeared with £3000 of his girlfriends cash.
Anybody else had a problem with walter mitties ?
