And I thought it was just my students...
1. Having the snottiest, phlegmish cold you've ever seen, saying they've been in bed all week and have only got up to go flying - oh, and could they borrow your headset.
2. Pulling mixture knob three or four times a flight.
3. Doing a walk-around that could double as an annual (but still miss that prop ding).
4. Ask if you'll ever become a commercial pilot.
Note: I'd suggest putting anger management on the ATPL syllabus, but I guess there's no point until we decide to be commercial pilots.
5. When asked "why didn't you F L A R E when I said?" claim the intercom's broken - even though their RT's been perfect on the easy bits.
6. Say how sorry they are that you don't have time to eat during the day - then follow up with "but you're not eating during my slot"
7. Phoning up for you to do the 'A' check so they can have more of a lay-in.
8. "My best friend flies tornadoes and he says..."
9. "I'm so much better when you're not here" - followed by a good push forward on the third bounce
10. And then my favourite...turn up half hour late, nav ex not planned, so start planning, forget everything on CRP, go for cup of tea, write flog out again so it's neat, take everything out to aircraft (after being reminded to take keys and headset), come back to get headset, get as far as primer on checks, come back to get keys. Need fuel, at bowser go through internal checks again as if they've never been seen before, accidentally unclip seat belt while checking trim set for take-off, at holding point adjust seat, change glasses for tinted glasses and remove coat, at pre-take off vital actions accidentally unclip seat belt while checking trim set for take-off, sun goes in so change tinted glasses for normal ones, taxy to hold point braking against power, spend five minutes wondering whether the button on the PA28 park brake needs to be pushed in to engage it, when ready to move fail to realise the park brake button needs to be pushed to disengage brake, use both hands to wrench the park brake handle off its shaft, give park brake handle to instructor, realise that throughout this time the aircraft has trundled over the hold point, ask instructor if that's okay. Until eventually, those wonderful, blissful words are transmitted "G-XX ready for departure" followed by "I need to go to the toilet"
11. Oh yes, and student of point 10 complaining to the owner that you can't keep on top of your time keeping.
Keep 'em coming.