Pax in Club: If this airline goes bust what happens to my frequent flyer miles?
Me :yuk: *thinking in my head* If the airline goes bust my last bloody thought is going to be your miles...I will be thinking about how I will pay my bills!

I'm sure the poor crew at MaxJet and Silverjet had pax screaming at them when they got grounded.

yet another one
 

I was working at MAN as ground crew a few years ago, when I walked through T1 to get my lunch. A man came up to me and said 'can you tell me where I parked my car?' Trying to be my usual helpful self and thinking he couldn't find the car parks, I said 'certainly, which car park did you park in?' He replies, 'don't you know?' I did have to tell him, that as I wasn't in the car when he parked it, I would not be able to find it for him. He walked off, and I had my lunch and went back to work.

I wonder if he ever found his car?:p

Not CC but,
 

Many moons ago, having presented the completed loadsheet to the Captain, walking through the cabin of an HS748 older than me, elated at not having to jump out of the forward freight door again......................(H&S not an issue in '91)

Akin to the Pilot going visual with the Fokker I hear,

Excuse me, 'do these planes crass very often'

Me 'Generally, just the once madam'

Killing look from the Purser, many drinks to make up for the comment, but a memory that will last a lifetime...................................

ok i work on the ground. I was boarding an Easyjet flight and it was raining outside. The passengers dont actually have to walkthat far but i almost laughed when a lady came up to me with disgust on her face saying "dont you provide complimentry umbrellas at all?" i felt like saying to her you do relise your flying easyjet and notba first class, and even then i dont think they have complimentry umbreallas do they??? lol :ugh:

Sitting in the Pink Elephant bus as we returned to LHR to pick up our car. ( Thousands of parked cars, car park divided into coloured zones )

Driver: "Ladies and gentlemen, What colour zones?"

1st pax:"Orange"
2nd pax:"Purple"

My wife :uhoh: "Green!, it's a green VW Golf!"

Many moons ago a friend was cc for a 757 operator, with a rear facing crew seat just behind the trailing edge. It was a regular thing that on engine start-up a PAX would get more than a little nervous (the RB211 can spit out a lot of black s:mad:t on start-up), and states "errr, a errrm, the engines on FIRE!!!!!"

My friend would look out in all seriousness and calmy state "I think your'e right .... and I'm glad it is ........... (impregnated pause) ........... because if it wasn't we wouldn't be going anywhere"

@Flyboyz_NZ Sorry mate but I couldn't let your non-stop Melbourne-Dubai of 22hours slip through the net :ok: The longest flight is only well not only but it's 18hrs40 on Singapore's Newark-Singapore route
Non-stop flight - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Not sure you C.C. are going to allow ex-F/Deck to post on this thread, but reading tales of pax. behaviour reminds me : the dear old Bristol Britannia 312 had a small cubicle near the front designated as a Gents. toilet, and operating a chocolate box charter inbound from Jamaica about 50 yrs. ago the door opened and a steward crept up to the flt.engineer, who started to smile and wrote in his Tech Log. "Gents Urinal used as Arsenal, pls, clean " The subsequent crew found the note " Rectumfied". Doesn't sound as if much has changed. Miss it.

You're right, we don't carry umbrellas, even for our First pax. We just have a word with God and make sure it's not raining when they board! :E

ExSp33db1rd

You're always welcome to post on our thread, as long as you're saying nice things about us! :p

Jsl

As SLF on a trip from LGW to MSP we were somewhere in the region of Greenland when the lady sitting next to me and who was peering out of the window said "oh look, its a regata". I also peered out of the window. It turned out that she had seen some ice bergs.

Heard at LGW: "Where do I check in?". "Who are you flying with, madam?" "Oh. It's just em"

JSL " You're always welcome to post on our thread, as long as you're saying nice things about us! :p "

What else ! I might tell you what the really nice ones did behind the flight deck door when we had our eyes and hands glued to the sextant for 2 minutes - too !!! but our subsequent retribution would fall in the category of not being nice to you. Happy Days.

Life Vests Deployed
 

Flight inbound to Oahu flying in a westerly direction.

The air traffic controllers in Hawaii tend to move @ island pace. So when it gets busy we get backed up quickly and put into long vectors.

On this particular flight we got vectored past Oahu on our westerly direction and the aircraft was landing east bound on runways 08 & 04.

The flight attendant rings us to inform us that 2 passengers obviously got scared that they saw the island of Oahu past their window thought our aircraft was in some sort of imminent danger or that we were flying towards japan grabbed their life vests put them over their heads and deployed them.

US TSA Security Screeners are really stupid
 

I guess from time to time the US National Guard (I hope i got the right branch of the military...u get the picture) patrols airports in military BDU's and what clearly appears to be M16 rifles.

As they pass from the non secured area to the secured area the TSA Security Screener's made the above military personnel place their firearms in the bin for scanning!!

These people are BRAIN DEAD

Precisely ! What EXACTLY are they scanning for !!!:ugh:

Dutyfree
 

LHR-MIA
American pax 'excuse me sir, when do you do the dutyfree service?'
Me-'straight after the meal service, madam'
American pax 'when's the meal service?'
Me-'just before the dutyfree'
American pax 'oh Thanks'
:ugh:

wol123
I guess you answered that way because you didn't know. You could have asked one of your more intelligent colleagues.

s37

its known in England as sarcasm

Its the same when pax ask as soon as we are boarding what time we will arrive in the destination, most of the time they ask when we are late, but occasionally when the flight is on time

Pax: When will arrive in xxx
Me: *hours *min (flight time) after we take off

Sarcasm works sometimes, off they go all happy knowing what they wanted!

I recall sitting next to two people who are scared of flying. And both shared details of how, why and what will go wrong with this plane on this flight. The CC as usual where checking we were wearing our seatbelt's these two refused to, instead the continuously asked the member of crew for the belts similar to what the flight deck has. Cabin crew attempted to explain over and over that it was impossible to provide these. And they kept syaing why do passengers get these pieces of crap and the crew get decent belts. The CC responded with "They need us to be alive to account for the crash and defend the company. Passengers however will bad mouth the company".

Not really funny but what can you do.