Thick passenger comments
 

Pax: Can I have a sandwich please?
Me:We haven't got any sandwiches left,sorry.
Pax: Oh have you got any chicken sandwiches left?
Me: No, sorry, we haven't got any sandwiches at all.
Pax: What, none at all? Not even any egg?
Me: No we haven't got any sandwiches of any description
Pax: You must have some sandwiches, it's got a picture of one in the in-flight magazine.
Another Pax: Please get me a blanket and a pillow.
Me: I'm sorry we've given them all out.
Pax: But you said when we got on that you had some blankets and pillows.
Me: Yes but that was two and a half hours ago.
Pax: But they've always got enough on British Airways.
Me: You're welcome to try to transfer but as we're at 35000 feet it might be a bit awkward.
(As told to me by Mrs. Robo283)

Thick Passenger Comments
 

Absolutely true story. Three hours into flight from Paphos to Manchester.

Thick Passenger Seat 17D Observes Young lady in seat 14D with very restless infant.
Thick Passenger Seat 17D Observes Young lady in seat 14D asks passing CC for pillow for infant.
Thick Passenger Seat 17D Observes CC says to young lady in seat 14D 'you will find one in the overhead lockers' and continues towards the rear of aircraft.
Thick Passenger Seat 17D States to Passing CC It's OK, I'll find her a pillow for the infant.
CC Member Totally embarrassed.

Must add that this CC attitude is not typical of this particular airline.

The other day at work we had long delays due to fog. I heard the following and was completely dumbfounded.

Pax: Why can't anyone do anything about the fog?
Me: *long pause* "I'm sorry, are you actually being serious?"

The pax then realised what they had actually said.

Got this one the other day!

ME: Sir, would you like a drink with your breakfast?
PAX: Ill have a tea please.
ME: Sorry sir, unfortunately we have run out of potable water (dont ask, its a long story but lets just say we coped despite a total lack of even flush water in the loos) so hot drinks are unavailable. I do apologise however can I offer you some juice?
PAX: Its ok, its not your fault, Ill just have a Coffee instead!!!!

:uhoh: :uhoh: :uhoh:

Night Flight
 

Pax: In somewhat of a panic calls a cabin crew member and says "do the pilots know about the aircraft that is flying very close to us?"

CC: "Madam that is the light on the wing tip!"

I wondered that as well Shamrock but I thought it was just me being a thick pprooner!! :ooh:

It may be me, but I think there's an element of sarcasm there......:}

Must admit, as humble SLF i find the original post a little insulting. Both the pax are requesting things that they were told would be available. And as for the comment -- Please pass on to HID that I bet that pax ain't flying with your lot again!!!!

I don't think the OP was suggesting that the pax was "thick" for asking for said items as, you're correct, these were all offered initially. The OP was suggesting that the passenger was "thick" because they continued to ask the same questions (with slight variations) even after being repeatedly told that such items weren't available.

I should have added that the last comment was sotto voce.
I wish I'd never started this thread :ugh:

Shamrock274 & tart1
 

Sorry, just my sense of humour.
It would seem that an awful lot of CC consider all passengers to be thick.

Well the same goes the other way TSR2!!!

I know variations of this one's come up loads, but it happened (again) today....

Me: "Any Coffee?"
Pax: (Takes out headphones) "Eh?"
Me: "Any coffee for you sir?"
Pax: (totally blank expression for a few seconds)
Me: (for the final time) "Would you like any coffee sir?"
Pax: "Is that tea?"

:ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

:hmm::mad::mad::mad:


LOL, can't stop laughing:p:p

What starts as abit of fun ends up getting took the wrong way again, why bother :ugh:

Oh come on! People are funny! Cabin crew, pax, pilots alike. It's just human nature.

Laughter is good for the soul and for ones sanity!

Dea

The rotty family is OFTEN slf between Japan and the USA--3 more flights and we get our own personal 744!!! :}
Well not quite. But I have been witness to innumerable incidents such as the ones mentioned, with various happy, tense, or angry outcomes. Sometimes the pax is just a complete wa:mad: er, true. However, before CC decides to write someone off, so to speak, please remember that you are AT HOME on the aircraft, doing your job; it is a day at the office for you with very few uncertainties.
It may not be so for your pax. Jet-lagged out, unfamiliar perhaps with the aircraft, destination, or what awaits them there. Simply put, their state of mind may be VASTLY different from yours.
Case in point, I was once sat next to a fellow who seemed nearly catatonic, having trouble acknowledging the CC request to re-stow some carry-on. The gal with the stockings was quite harsh on him, at one point mentioning having him tossed off the plane. I intervened a bit, helped get the guy's bag stowed, etc.
Some time later, after takeoff, he responded to a little gentle attention and opened up a bit. Turns out he was flying home to bury his wife and daughter who had been killed in an automobile accident in his absence.
We have a responsibility for kindness, try it and see how far the ripples carry...

Threads such as these are meant purely as therapy for those of us who deal with the less erm 'familiar with flying' (yes, that was a diplomatic enough description :E ) amongst our pax - no malice or harm intended - please don't view it in any other way!

TSR2 - I got what you meant first time round. I was going to expand on it, but it appears some of the responses here are in line with your post!

In fairness one and all, I would not normally say this but if the SLF dont like what we are saying in this thread I suggest you choose to ignore it and move onto the next thread. It is simply a little light relief for us cabin crew dimwits, no offence is intended but this is a "Cabin Crew" thread.
Im aware of the irony as I only posted a few weeks ago in defence of SLF that they should be allowed to input their thoughts but considering some of you are taking offence to something that is intended to be "shop humour" I suggest you leave this one alone and let us play amongst ourselves.
Probably too late for that now though cos the moment has been lost.

Once on a flight back from some meditteranean island just after the seat belt signs had come on and long before the gear went down I was stopped by a passenger who in all seriousness asked me "have we landed yet?"

6

Wouldn't call this particular pax thick, but his comment was quite funny. On a flight from LHR-LBA an American pax asked "are we going to Leeds or Bradford first"

while going to brief my exit pax...

me: excuse me sir, sorry to bother you but as you're sat on the emergency exit..
SLF: *looks totally blank* huh what
me: as you're sat on the emergency exit
SLF: what do you mean?
me: *says it s-l-o-w-l-y* see that door you're sat next to, its an emergency exit.. see the big EXIT sign?
SLF: mmmm, right...
I'd be here all night if I continued the rest of the conversation :mad:

From my days of being on the ground:
PAX: Can we be somewhere near the front?
me: yes, is row 3 ok for you?
PAX: Is that near the front?
me: no the seat rows are numbered 1, 2, 4 all the way through to 40 then row 3 is there
PAX: oh right, so nothing near the front then? :ugh: :ugh:

again when they think we make PA's for fun, and how the instructions to them apply to everyone but THEM

I think I need to work somewhere else :} preferably with animals.. I might get more sense from them

ME: Would you like a tea or coffee sir?
PAX: WHAT?
ME: Would you like a tea or coffee sir?
PAX: No I dont drink alcohol!
ME: Sorry sir, we are offering you TEA, or COFFEE, would you like some?
PAX: Yes. .... (puts his cup on my tray, and stares blankly at my colleague and I).
ME: So sir, which is it - tea or coffee?
PAX: WHAT?
ME: Would you like tea or coffee to drink sir?
PAX: I told you - yes!
ME: Sir, I need to know, do you want the TEA, 'OR' the coffee.
PAX: Tea, black, no sugar! (I pour it - he takes the cup)

2 rows later

PAX: Can I have some milk and sugar please?
(We return, my colleague pours the milk from the silver jug - and instructs the passengers to 'say when').
PAX: I didnt want milk for the tea, I want a coffee with milk!

_____________

Another passenger on another flight...

I pour her her requested cup of tea.

PAX: What do you call this - thats disgusting, take it back.
ME: Is there a problem?
PAX: Its too strong.
ME: Im sorry mam, I will make you a fresh cup a bit weaker in a minute.

I return with weaker tea

PAX: Oh, no no no, its still far too strong.

I return with even weaker tea - so much so that its barely tea.

PAX: No, take it back!

I return with a cup of hot water and a tea bag (separate) so she can do it how she likes. I apologise.

PAX: Thats not how you make tea!!! What do you expect me to do with this.
ME: Its a tea-bag - you dunk it in the hot water.
PAX: Dont you have fresh tea and a tea pot?
ME: Im sorry mam, no we dont.
PAX: Just get me a VB (harsh, cheap and nasty victorian beer).

Return with VB:

PAX: Its too cold, do you have any that arent so cold.
ME: No sorry mam.
PAX: Well I dont want to pay for it!

On a domestic flight from Sydney I had this exchange with a newly arrived U.S. visitor to Australia a few years back.

Me: Madam, would you like a cup of coffee?

Passenger: Do you have any tea with yee?

Me: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean by yee.....

Passenger: Oh..... no I'm sorry, do you have any tea with thou?

Me: Are you trying to speak olde english?

Passenger: Isn't that how you speak here in Australia?

:O

Were about an hour out of SFB and travelling up the eastern seaboard. At the time, one of last years hurricanes had passed over Orlando and was by now somewhere up by the Carolina's.

PAX AT WINDOW: Excuse me, what are those big flashes in the clouds over there. Is it another aircraft?

I look out of window.

ME: Um, that's lightning sir.

These two were told to be me by a friend at easyJet.

Boarding. Pax enters door. "Oh, seats."

Or:

PAX: Excuse me. The coloured tint on these windows is lovely. Why do you have it?

HOSTIE: That's a sunset, ma'am.

I've posted this before but it still makes me chuckle.

I was boarding a flight to Chicago and an elderly American couple handed me there boarding cards, as I gave them the stubs back I said feel free to help yourselves to water from the rack. (We give bottles out as you board). The old man turned to his wife and said "WHAT DID SHE SAY?"
Her: "WE'RE FLYING OVER IRAQ DEAR!"

Laugh? The whole gate area collapsed.

Bless.

Cant bag out pax to much......how about crew too

This little exchange on a very delayed 737 only 2 weeks ago:

Pilots called out from standby, only First officer there, Capt hasnt arrived, all cabin crew and CSM already onboard from previous sector:



Customer Service Supervisor (CSM) to F/O: The company wants us to leave now.

F/O: Capts not here, we cant go yet

CSM: NO, but the company really wants us to go NOW

F/O: Really, we cant go without the Captain.

CSM: NO, the company just told me, they want us to leave right now.

F/O: Scratching head, Look, I think your missing something here.....

Some of us "familiars" find them quite theraputic as well.

Taking fun
as simply fun
and earnestness
in earnest
shows how thoroughly
thou none
of the two
discernest.

So sorry...
 

Just got back from a few days away... read my earlier post and realized how much it (and I) didn't belong here. I apologize for sticking my big nose where it doesn't belong. Was also reminded on the flights down to Naha (:ok: ) and back of some of the cr:mad: ola you fine folks have to put up with, day in and day out.
Sorry I posted like a pompous a$$! :ugh: :{
Hat, coat, door...

Possibly an urban myth, but here goes...

L/H preparing to depart from a certain republic in the Southern Hemisphere where they play rugby.

Economy class, gentleman of colour quietly seated awaiting departure when elderly woman not of colour approaches her seat next to said gentleman.

Elderly woman then approaches CC, staing firmly that she can't possibly be expected to sit next to said gentleman for such a long flight. CC replies "Of course, ma'am, I'll see what I can do"; goes forward.

CC returns a few minutes later and says to the old girl, "Ma'am, we've found a solution to your situation", turns to the gent and says, "Sir, if you'd like to follow me, we have a spare seat in first class for you".

Rotated my post regarding this being a 'therapy' thread was not directed at you. Everyone is welcome here - provided they don't make an a$$ of themselves, which your post did not.

Pax: Excuse me, do you have any insecticide spray?
CC(me): Can I ask what for madam?
Pax: There are lots of tiny flies flying around in front of me.
CC(slightly confused): I don't see any flies madam, I think what you can see is dust. Anybody, no? Dust.
Pax: Oh, I guess it could be.

I don't think she quite got the Little Britain reference, but some pax really do leave their brains on the ground.

PMSL!!!! :D

I was passing some last-minute wx info to a crew while boarding, I turned to go and a pax (little old lady) says to me:

"Excuse me, aren't we going to wait for the weather to be fixed?"

(Me with a blank stare, until I realise she'd heard me say 'broken cloud'!! :} )

I think quite a few of us get that one from time to time!!!

WHY do they always wait until after you've taken off to tell you that they've left something at the gate aswell?

what do you want me to say? "oh yes ok sir, no problem, we'll just turn back?" :mad:

I had an interesting experience years ago flying to the UK from a Middle Eastern state on their national airline. My hand baggage was taken off me on boarding by a member of the cabin crew for being allegedly too large (although it looked fine to me and had travelled in countless aircraft cabins before.) I didn't argue and the CC said he would put it in a storage area in the cabin so I could have access to it on the journey. After take off, with the plane less than half full, I decided to try to retrieve my bag. My conversation with the CC went like this:

Me: Could I have access to my bag please?
CC: I had it put in the hold, sir
Me: But I wanted to get something out of and it's not locked, so I didn't want it to go through baggage handling
CC: What would you like me to do about it, sir? Ask the captain to land so you can get you bag?
Me: Yes, please
CC: That is a ridiculous suggestion, sir
Me: But it was YOUR suggestion

At that point the CC walked off and made no attempt to be polite to me for the rest of the journey. I didn't use that airline again.

FA: "Would you like tea or coffee"
Pax: Yes please

(......could go in circles with this one all day, why is it so hard just to say tea or coffee??? LoL)

Could have been a medical problem??? Floaters..... especially if pax was experincing this for the first time-> Retinal Detatchment :eek::eek:

or as you said, could have just been dust:ok::ok:

cabin crew must have the patience of saints!!!!! i don't know how you do it!
i used to work on the ramp at MAN (T2).. when the plane was loaded the push back team would then go and get the pushchairs etc. the best game then was 'count the new trainers' sounds daft but certainly passes the time well....
BUT... the funniest thing i ever heard was from groundstaff who were beginning to board a delayed aircraft. we arrived upstairs and obviously attracted attention, there was then one or two people moving gingerly to said groundstaff to see when aircraft was leaving (don't know if they thought we were flight deck or not, but reading some of the posts maybe!)
the couple of people ended up as a large group (again, people must of thought that it was top secret and the aircraft would go without them!)
the girl was in the process of typing something into the computer on the gate which really got the mood flowing.... THEN............
one surly looking bloke, who had obviously watched EVERY episode of airline/airport thought he would be clever and ask the 'in the know' question...
" will this delay affect our airspace?"... now i believe he meant to ask " will this delay affect our slot time?"...but no he persisted with the now VERY busy girl and asked the same question again....
" WILL THIS AFFECT OUR AIRSPACE? " now at this point the rest of the passengers looked like they were ready with their own 'dumb a$$' questions until the girl looked up, spun round to the terminal windows ( very large glass ones ) and replied back in a very manner of fact way.....
" NO! THERE IS PLENTY OF IT OUT THERE TO GO AROUND!!!!" :D
within seconds everyone sat back down and there was peace and quiet until the plane boarded and off they went on their hols........
PRICELESS!! YOU ALL HAVE MY GREATEST RESPECT......:ok:
regards
J6T