Im not an F/A but I fly a small charter aircraft in Tanzania in which im the pilot, hostie and tour guide. There is usually an open co pilots seat where pax have to sit as ballast.It always seems that when people are on holiday they usually leave their brains behind....

1- "Is this plane safe".. no lady I have a death wish

2- Flying into the selous game reserve i was asked by an american pax with a heavy southern twang.."what time do they feed the animals" to which i replied "6 o'clock, we have plenty of time"

3-On app to kilimanjaro airport.
PAX: "oh my god what are those straight lines just ahead of us. Is that a natural phenomena"(excuse spelling).
Confused Pilot: "Power lines"

4- Flying direct from Arusha to Lake manyara my ballast asks
"So which way is lake Manyara"
Pointing out of the front of the aircraft i replied "that way"

One day ill have a cockpit door and leave the pay to the professionals. keep ur cool F/A's:ok:

Once on a flight,answered a call bell to a quite irrate and very distressed man

Me "Are you ok sir?"
man "No,theres a plane about to crash into us,please tell the captain were all going to die"

As you can imagine,I was a little shocked looked out the window and yes there was a plane visible,looked big but could tell it was far away not to worry

Me"Please calm down sir I asure you its far enough away and theres nothing to worry about"

Sitting next to man was a very imbarassed looking wife,who was trying to calm him down to no effect! He wouldn't listen to me,so I asked the purser to talk to him,He wouldn't listen to her either!
By this time he had created quite a stir in the cabin,some pax laughing,others getting worried! So we asked the captain to make a pa,He explained that the 747 that flew along side us,then under us and away the other side,was at a far and safe distance.And to bear in mind that we were in an A320! so the size difference and angle made it look closer,so could the man in economy please calm down.

man shouts"hes lying,I saw the pilots faces!"

Now the general laugther in the cabin soon shut him up,About 30 mins later we landed,as man was getting off,the captain was ready to speak to him,man told captain(who had been flying 10 years) that he was a lair and it was all a conspiracy and a cover up!! He left aircraft still shouting saying he was going to the press!
Just after one very imbarassed wife got off!

After four years of dealing with them, though few and far between, I do not tolerate arrogant or selfish customers.You get them in everyday life but the flying selfish and arrogant take it to a whole new level. Hopefully as I grow older I can learn to suffer them...

Was standing at L1 for boarding once and a pax fell to the ground and started fitting. To my utter astonishment the other pax started STEPPING OVER HER to get into the aircraft!!!

More recently there was a 5'2" female CSO standing behind the desk getting blasted by this male pax, easily 6'6". This guy was huge. The problem was he was screaming at her he was going to kill her! etc etc. This guy told her he would cut her up and all!!! 100 or so other pax sat there watching the whole thing intently. Not one of them bothered to assist the poor young girl in any way! It was we crew walking past that had to intervene.

Unbelievable...

Hey Belle...

Don't think he/she was criticising you, just making a valid point...

"If ya can't take the heat, Stay outta the Galley"

Dick Hertz:ok: