Biscuit Chucker I did consider that, especially seeing as one of the CAR's states that a "person who fails to comply with instructions from airline officers" is classified a disruptive passenger, and can therefore be charged... but the fact that he was in a window seat and therefore not blocking in anyone else (and the landing gear had just been lowered for landing! :ooh: ) I decided I had best take my seat asap....

A recent passenger to Singapore was quite dismayed when I didn't lend her my pen for her to do crossword puzzles in a book she'd obviously bought at a newsagency?????:mad: :confused:

I don't know how many pens I have "lent" to people and never seen again...

If you want a pen BUY ONE FROM THE NEWSAGENT IN THE TERMINAL! How can someone get on a plane to travel half way round the world without a pen, not to mention all the other things that people leave home without and expect us to supply.

:*

pens
 

as part of stationary loaded on to the aircraft as a standard, do they not load a bag of pens incase this situation ever arises????

No, we have them loaded with our customer surveys, but not one each for 400 people...

Is it too much to ask for people to bring something as simple as a pen?

was in the aisle and watched a lady get out of her seat and wander down to the rear toilets. She looked at both toilet doors quite puzzled, for about 2-3 minutes then wandered back to her seat and pressed her call bell.
i went down.
PAX: excuse me, where are the ladies rooms?
ME: Just down at the rear of the cabin, there are two onboard and they are both vacant at the moment
PAX: oh, not those ones, dont men use those too?
ME: Yes, they can be used by all passengers.
PAX: well i just cant use them then. i wont go into a mens toilet. Dont you have others onboard i can use?
ME: the only ones we have are these two, there is not enough room on a plane to have both ladies and mens toilets.
PAX: well i will just have to hold on then. (huffs in a put out way)
** two minutes later call bell goes off again***

PAX: Could i use the pilots toilet do you think?
ME: Um, excuse me????
PAX: well could i go in and use their toilet instead of the ones here
ME: (completley going over the whole issue that there are no toilets in the flight deck)
but the pilots are men... you didnt want to use mens toilets...
PAX: oh but i am sure a pilots toilet is a little better than nothing.. pilots would take more care of themselves/have better hygeine (something to that effect)
ME: well i am sorry but they dont have toilets in the flight deck
PAX: but what do they use?
ME: the toilets in the cabin if they need to.
PAX: Are you saying that the poor pilots have to come out and use the common toilets with all the dirty unhygenic passengers?
ME: yes.
PAX: i think i should write a letter to this airline, that is awful. They get paid good money they shouldnt have to put up with this. Please tell them there is someone out here that sympathises with them.
ME: (almost laughing) hmmm. i'll give you the address to write to if you like.
PAX: yes thankyou dear. Oh, and can i have a glass of orange juice while your there too? thanks.
(and i thought she needed to go to the toilet???)
makes you wonder if she was just lonely and liked talking, really needed to go to the bathroom or was aspiring to be a pilots-rights activist. crazy.

Oh, man! my coffee nearly came out my nose :D !

From a pax perspective:

Once saw a hostie explain to two mothers why they couldn't sit next to each other with their kids on their laps (not enough drop down oxygen masks, apparently). Her explanation then shifted to a 10 minute war story, at the top of her voice, of her life of depressurisations, scary flying experiences and general horror. The entire cabin went silent, everyone listening to her with big eyes.

The effect was equivalent to showing "Airplane" on the inflight movie.

On the plus side, I've never seen so many people pay such careful attention to the safety briefing.

I think I met all of the pax on my flights too, especially the newspaper men.
A couple of stories:
- MEL - PER. Evening flight. A complete nutter was in the rear (R) window seat of 767, on a flight with very light loadings. Unfortunately, he wasn't recognised as nutter until after take-off, when he commenced an animated discussion with the empty seat next to him. Problem generally sorted by offering drinks and meal tray to empty seat, throughout flight!;
- BNE - SYD, morning flight. Call bell rings. Three late middle-aged women ask about arranging a hire car upon arrival in SYD. I foolishly ask, as you do, what their plans were - "we're going to drive to Ayers Rock." Somewhat surprised, I asked how long they were planning on their trip - they told me that they had the day in SYD before connecting to their late-night flight home - weren't they disappointed when I told them how far away the Rock was! They told me that someone had told them that the Rock was just west of Sydney!

In mid 90's, we were flying from Bahrain to Manchester (the flight had originated in Sydney), and as was the case on the SYD-UK bound flights we generally made up a lot of time...consequently we were happy to report that we would be landing into Manchester 1 hour and 20 minutes ahead of schedule...325 pax...bar 1 were very happy.

The 326th pax called me over and said it was absolutely disgusting the we should arrive so early...as he was being met by relatives and they wouldn't be there to meet him..he then demanded to speak to the person in charge..coincidentely me! He then demanded that we either slow down, in order that he wouldn't be waiting at Manchester for his family ( The difference between waiting at 39,000 in a polluted metal tube, or a nice comfy seat in Starbucks..seemed to have escaped him!!). Or that we provided him with a hotel room, yes a hotel room, for the 1 hour and 20 minutes... as it wasn't his fault!

I'm afraid at this time I had to walk away, for fear of catching what he had!!! Needless to say he left the aircraft 1 hour and 20 minutes early saying he would NEVER fly with us again...This guy, more than anyone else has proved to me, that you can stand on your head, bend over backwards and they are STILL not happy:\

Guy complained to me that I was incredibly rude for telling him that he wasn't allowed to take the mini bottles of wine off the aircraft. One or two is fine in my book but this S.O.B had about 12 in his bag. He was having a laugh.

What's that little town down there?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT GETTING AN UPGRADE?????????

"Ah yes, that looks like the town of Diligaf"

Do I look Like I Give A F(ire tr)uck??

Also works well for Lake Dilligaf, Mount Diligaf, The Diligaf Ranges... the list goes on :E

Was a pax in second row from screen on which a projector was showing a film.

Yes that's going back a few years.!!

Sun shining through window next to pax in front made movie a non event.

Being very considerate I tapped window seat pax on shoulder and said " Sir, you will be able to see the movie clearly if you pull down the window blind."

Response in broken European English was

" Oh that's alright. I am not watching it."

No blind until he received a stream of vindictive. Cheers from all close by.

"Don't you know who I am?"

A few years ago, SIN-LHR. Working in coach, pax says to me in a really whingey voice "Can't believe these aeroplanes, it's so much better on Quantas" I reply, "well fly with quantas in future then" pax and his rabid girlfriend dumbfounded!!!! In my experience, thats the only way to deal with these braindead morons, give em back what they give you!! te he:p

Quite a few years ago, the flight crew let me sit in for the landing (LHR-DXB). Were vectored round the houses for the approach, but got on the ground, thanking the crew and was about to leave when the door opens and this pax walks in. Introduces himself and says he was watching the approach on the video feed, and starts telling the crew how he would have done it! After he's finished, the skipper asked him if he had ever heard of ATC, to which the guy replied:

"Of course I have. I have a PPL you know!" :\

Hats off to the skipper for not thumping him.

Cheers.

so no ones had the:

"excuse me but I can't find the durex machine in the bathroom":O


I believe this has been said on a long haul:)

About 3years ago, I was working down a rank as there were 2pursers and I elected to work in economy for a change, a rather obnoxious gentleman complained to me that he was unable to get his meal choice. The only choices available were beef and fish:eek:. The passenger complained that he didn't think highly of our cabin service as we did the meal service from the front and back to meet (you know how it is when the rear pax never get the meal choice:oh: ). He was sitting in the middle section, didn't get his choice (beef) and demanding we offer him the crew food, which incidently there was no beef in sight.

I did the usual "after the business class service has finished, I'll see what's available for you". This guy went on and on and I tried everything so I suggested leaving the aircraft and getting some beef from the shops to which he replied (quite seriously - "yes" and also demanded I tell the captain that he didn't recieve his choice of meal. After 10minutes, the said gentleman had the fish.

And what point did he prove????:confused:


2- The pax who complain that there aren't foreign newspapers on a domestic flight:confused:

As a mover of self-loading freight (and boxes - love the boxes) in the military, we at least get the chance to order some of the stupid ones to be less stupid.

However - I do believe I have sat beside every single one of the subjects of your tales on those flights! What have I done wrong? Please! I listen to the safety briefs, know when to take off my headphones, keep the space under the seat clear - but I always sit next to the oxygen thief! :sad: