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Thick passenger comments

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Thick passenger comments

Old 17th Aug 2011, 15:12
  #1001 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: michigan, usa
Age: 70
Posts: 2
Sheeple. . .etc

Why stand in line to board first?

1. Early boarders have a better choice of overhead bins. A bad leftover can cause a missed connection. Only had one really near miss, but I had a "favorable" bin and made my connection, abeit a bit out of breath.

2. It is much more comforatable boarding the relatively non-crowded aisles at the beginning of the boarding process. Note that my frequent flyer status rewards me by allowing me to board early, right after premium class.
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Old 17th Aug 2011, 23:34
  #1002 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: UK, sometimes USA
Posts: 400
As a frequent flyer in all classes it's definitely the numpties who carry giant bags and cases then fill up the overhead bins that cause this need to board early. Sometimes it can get very difficult fighting over bin space and I really object to people rearranging my belongings, especially if they're not even from the same row or adjacent seats. I do wonder why airlines don't police the baggage more strictly as I often see people bring on more than is strictly allowed.

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Old 18th Aug 2011, 22:20
  #1003 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: East of Essex, north of Java
Posts: 58
A bad leftover can cause a missed connection.
What has stale food got to do with flying?

Note that my frequent flyer status rewards me by allowing me to board early, right after premium class.
Somehow I do not think you are going to impress many people here with that sort of bragging. The vast majority of contributors to PPRuNe would never even dream in their very worst nightmares about ever flying coach.
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Old 19th Aug 2011, 12:13
  #1004 (permalink)  

Eight Gun Fighter
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Western Approaches
Posts: 1,127
Once got on board after the majority. Looking for overhead bin space, found some over a couple who thought it was their bin. Tried to explain it wasn't their exclusively reserved space. That didn't work. I find that most people who start by entering a terminal loose most of their brain matter.
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Old 19th Aug 2011, 15:04
  #1005 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: michigan, usa
Age: 70
Posts: 2

". . .stale food. . . .bragging . . ." ? ? ? ?

Sorry you missed the point.
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Old 19th Aug 2011, 22:59
  #1006 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: london
Posts: 155
A colleague of mine was asked today for a "black coffee with milk".
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Old 20th Aug 2011, 04:00
  #1007 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: any town as retired.
Posts: 2,158
Black tea with milk for me

As I hate green tea.

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Old 20th Aug 2011, 08:32
  #1008 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 25
During disembarkation:

Me: "Bye Sir"

PAX: "Bye, erm, can you tell me where I pick up my phone?"

Me: "Pick up your phone?"

PAX: "Yeah, where do I get it?"

Me: "I'm sorry, I'm not following you?"

PAX: "Where do I go to pick up my phone?"

Me: "Did you lose it somewhere?"

PAX: No, I just need to know where to get it?"

Me: "I'm sorry I don't know what you mean."

PAX: "The man at Stansted told me to put my phone in the machine and to make sure I picked it up at the other end..."

Me: "Was this man at security?"

PAX: "Yeah!"

Me: "I think the man meant for you to pick up your phone from the other end of the machine..."

PAX: "So my phone's not here then?"

Me: "I wouldn't have thought so, sir!"

PAX: "So, I've lost it then?"

Me: "I think it'll still be in Stansted."

PAX: "You haven't got it?"

Me: "No, sir!"

PAX: "Oh, okay, bye!"

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Old 20th Aug 2011, 08:49
  #1009 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Asia
Age: 70
Posts: 2,053
Fellow pax on TG MNL to BKK last week when asked whether he wanted fish, chicken or pork for his meal replied “which is the more Thai?” When told the pork, his response “but I’m vegetarian”
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Old 20th Aug 2011, 14:57
  #1010 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: In transit
Age: 67
Posts: 3,054
I asked for black coffee in a canteen 'oop North'. I was told : "You mean coffee without milk....".

After a few seconds of reflection, thinking, 'is it them or me ...?' I said : "Yes, that means it's black."

"We are not allowed to call it black ..........."

Freaking PC lot again.
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Old 20th Aug 2011, 17:53
  #1011 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Canada
Age: 70
Posts: 448
Good Afternoon All:

My favourite was this, back in the pre 9-11 days cockpit door was open as were going to KSFO x CYVR.

Father and son show up un-announced at the door and father in a "stage whisper" says to his son "see all they do is push buttons all day". Without missing a beat I turn around and said you are absolutely right sir as it is analogous to brain surgery you just have to know when and where to cut.

My poor F/O at the time was drinking some coffee and practically choked……………

Needless to say father turned beet red stammered and walked away.

To this day I still do not understand why I did it
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Old 20th Aug 2011, 21:35
  #1012 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: london
Posts: 155
When I worked in a cafe years ago, a lady would pop in every morning to get her skinny decaf latte! One day one of my colleauges could resist no longer and told the lady "Coming right up, but what's the point, Madam?"
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Old 20th Aug 2011, 21:42
  #1013 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: France
Posts: 2,316
a330pilotcanada,Nice one.
Reminded me of the guy in big cowboy boots at KFC.
Paid a small fortune, because when anything went wrong, he was the only one who knew which computer rack to kick, and where....

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Old 23rd Aug 2011, 15:28
  #1014 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 146
Early nineties, Amsterdam Schipol. I was one of those waiting in line to use the payphone. The large American lady seemed to be having trouble getting the phone to hang on to her money. "Don't these dam Dutch phones take Regular Quarters" !!.
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Old 23rd Aug 2011, 23:03
  #1015 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Edinburgh, UK
Age: 65
Posts: 39
Local Custom and Practice . . .

. . . or, when in Rome . . .

A colleague of mine was asked today for a "black coffee with milk".
Here in Edinburgh we used to ask for white coffee or black coffee and drink what is served up.

The process has become complicated by the Starbucks, Costa and Caffe Nero empires which offer as many options as an a la carte restaurant menu.

A colleague from the Weeg ( that's Glasgow to the uninitiated) likes to control the amount of milk in his white coffee and I noticed that he always asks for a black coffee with milk.

Some months back, we found ourselves in the Weeg's bus station caff. I asked the server for a white coffee only to be rebuked by said server with an indignant " dae yae mean a black coffee wi' mulk?!!!!" .

I have since discovered that "can I have a black coffee with milk, please?" is a secret code understood by baristas as "just a white coffee, no b/s and, no , I am not here to be ripped off".

I now order my coffee in non-specialist cafes here in Edinburgh as "black coffee with milk". The strange looks are less withering than the contempt in the voice and body language of that Glasgow bus station serving lady.

In Spain, the beverage is known as café con leche so maybe my Weeg neighbours enjoy the costas as much as I do.

Only twelve sleeps . . .

Last edited by ILoadMyself; 23rd Aug 2011 at 23:05. Reason: EDITED to apologise for length - about 46 miles
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Old 28th Aug 2011, 21:56
  #1016 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Vienna, Austria
Age: 54
Posts: 12
Thanks for the many laughs in this thread!

I am just a humble SLF, and this is not so much a "stupid comment" as a classic "lost in translation", but still funny:

In a Tunisair from Tunis to Vienna, flying over a lighted city at night about 20 minutes before landing.
Me: "Is this Graz?" (Graz = Austria's 2nd largest city)
CC: "No, not grass, it's a city."

(I didn't try again, as she seemed rather busy.)
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Old 29th Aug 2011, 07:17
  #1017 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Botswana & Greece
Age: 64
Posts: 940
Me: "Is this Graz?" (Graz = Austria's 2nd largest city)
CC: "No, not grass, it's a city."
Yes that is amusing and 20 mins before landing she/he was probably rather busy as you say. The cabin crew are not really aware of routes and unlike the passengers they don't have hours to spare (getting bored) looking out of the window. Even in rest time they are stuck in the galley sitting on catering boxes or CC seats without windows. I'm not saying 'give them a break' just that invariably they will not know landmarks. I always encouraged them to sit on the flight deck if they had any spare time and then their knowledge increased about routes and general operations.
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Old 29th Aug 2011, 09:46
  #1018 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Under the clouds now
Age: 82
Posts: 2,189
B757 enroute to Teneriffe - At the end of a long stream of flight deck visits a young version of Forest Gump stumbled in. In silence he looked around the F/D and his eyes settled on the rear bulkhead.
"Have you any questions?" I asked politely.
Instead of asking one of the most common questions: "Do you know what all the knobs and dials are for?" he replied: "Yeh, is that your 'at?"
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Old 29th Aug 2011, 20:40
  #1019 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Dubai
Posts: 17
Brilliant stories here. I've witnessed quite a lot of funny things on flights aswell.

I wrote this one down on the flight because it was so amusing! On a flight to BOM;

CC: Hi sir, unfortunately we've run out of Non-Veg meals, so I'm afraid Veg is all we have to offer.
Pax: No no, I cannot accept this. I am a vegetarian!
CC: Yes sir, this is a Veg meal.
Pax: Yes yes, I know what it means this "veg meal". I told before that I do not eating the chicken[sic] I am vegetarian!
CC: Yes sir, this is a vegetarian meal. It's made with Vegetables.
Pax: No no, you cannot get this vegetables from the plane itself. From a garden maybe, but this is a fake vegetables. I know this!
*CC gets another member of staff to explain to the man who eventually takes the veg meal*
Meanwhile, another passenger overhears this and asks;
Pax: Excuse me, but there is no Chicken also?
CC: No sir, we've run out of non-veg meals.
Pax: But I like chicken! I paid for this plane(LOL how fortunate for us to ride on *his* plane!) so I can eat a chicken meal!
CC: I'm sorry sir. There isn't anything we can do. We've run out of Non-Veg meals.
Pax: Can't you tell one of the other waiters[sic] on the plane to look for a chicken one?
*Male crew steps in*
MCC: Sir, if you would like, you may come with me to the front, we can go look for chicken, but I'm afraid you might find yourself a little disappointed since we are so high up in the air!
CC: Okay, so? But how come how high we are has to do with food and chicken!?

Another time flying from SIN to DXB after a little family holiday;

A man was sitting next to my mother and had a bit of trouble figuring out what to do so he copied everything my mother did - probably to avoid any embarrassment for being so ignorant as he didn't seem too well off(whether he was or not, I don't know, but his appearance and later his actions made me think this). He copied her when she asked for tea, but the poor chap poured in his SALT into the tea instead - I knew this by the nasty faces he made every-time he took a sip(SHAME!). My mum suggested he ask for another if he wanted, but to our surprise, he refused and drank it all!! When our food came, he tried to imitate how she ate with her fork and knife. After our meal, we got one of them finger bowls, and to avoid being too obvious about his mimicry I suppose, he tried to 1 up my mother; He drank all the water in the finger bowl!

Shame! He probably had quite a lot to say about his (probably first ever) flight experience after enduring all that wahahaha!

I have many more stories of equally stupid people. Even stupid CC too! Much respect to you guys though. It must be so difficult dealing with morons like this on a daily basis!
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Old 30th Aug 2011, 00:53
  #1020 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: 51'50' N
Posts: 42
Was stood waiting at the Ryanair customer service desk in EMA a couple of years ago. In front of me was an elderly lady and a middle aged lady, who it transpired was her daughter. The pair of them were having a heated debate with the woman on the desk. I wasn't really paying attention but assumed it was the usual story, lost ticket, out of date passport, missed check-in time etc. After a few minutes the two ladies turned away from the desk, facing towards me and looking pretty annoyed. The daughter then took out her phone, called someone (presumably a relative) and said in an exasperated tone with a heavy Lancashire accent, "they won't let mam on with 'er bus pass!"

Nigh-on messed my pants laughing at that one.
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