Thick passenger comments

[I Just Want To Fly]

CC: Are you OK Sir?
Pax: I've had three heart attacks, I need an upgrade.
CC: Right, can I give you a hand with your bag.
Pax: Leave me alone! Your company treats customers like sh*t!
CC: I'm sorry sir, can I help you to your seat.
Pax: I can manage. Leave me alone. I need to sit in First Class.
Once seated in his assigned seat...
Purser: Unfortunately as you have not been medically cleared to fly, we will need to check with our Medical Department to see if we can allow you to travel today.

[wiggy]

Ah, the old " I need an upgrade for medical reasons" sketch..didn't work last time someone tried it on me either ....

Lady Pax complains to CC that her husband has a breathing condition and gets claustrophobic in an economy seat ( BTW husband said nothing throughout all this), CC member involved brings problem to us on the Flight Deck.
Me to CC : "OK, we'll consult our medical advisor's and get back to you"
........One phone call and several minutes later, I enter the fray at the door.
Me to Lady : " Sorry, our advice is your husband cannot travel.."
Lady Pax "Oh but he would be OK in Club"
Me " Sorry, you're not now cleared to fly at all, we need to offload you and you need to get your husband checked out before trying to fly with us again".

The look the husband gave his wife as they walked off the aircraft was priceless.

[Jaguar Pilot]

On a recent Beardie flight to USA.

Me boarding, aft crew - "higher"

Me respond - "lower" equals dumb look.

Lern inglish creww.

[lexxity]

Sorry guys but I have the best medical excuse for wanting an upgrade EVER!

Boarding one of our longhauls out and see a message in system, "pax not well, request upgrade." Just about to call pax forward and security staff come and let us know she is wanting to speak to a supervisor. Supe checks the note in the booking and goes and speaks to the lady in question. Supe is soon back waring the biggest grin and trying not to laugh.

Pax needed an upgrade because she had period pains!

[Firestorm]

I wouldn't want to be squeezed into a Prole calss seat next to a hormonal biffer: I would support the case for an upgrade for one or other of us!

[Jaguar Pilot]

That's because army awficers (Ruperts) are not able to do anything for themselves. They always use a competent NCO - without the latter the army could not function.

[Flintstone]

That's because army awficers (Ruperts) are not able to do anything for themselves. They always use a competent NCO - without the latter the army could not function.

Hehe. I remember my basic training where I was warned in no uncertain terms by an NCO that the most dangerous thing in the British Army is "A f*cking Rupert with a map and compass". When I passed basic training with a recommendation for a commission his face was a picture. The look of disdain will live with me forever


As flight deck I have the utmost respect for cabin crew. I just could not bite my tongue and put up with some of the things you do. In bizjets we don't have the locked door to contend with and also muck in. There's even a photo somewhere of me wielding a rather large chef's knife in the galley Oh, and another with the vacuum cleaner. Goes both ways too, my favourite cabin crew will often go outside and pit the pitot covers on at the end of a flight.

The ignorance and just plain dopiness of the (commercially) travelling public is boundless. At one time I was catching airlines twice a week, sometimes in uniform sometimes in civvies and the behaviour of the SLF constantly amazed me.

For one thing I learned NEVER to stand still in a terminal while in uniform. "Where's my bag? What time does Granny's flight arrive? Where are the toilets? What's the weather like in (insert name of distant destination here)?". Sheesh

Once on board there's the safety briefing to be ignored. I once asked for it to be repeated as I neither saw nor heard it courtesy of the large newspaper and constant chatter of the two businessmen in front of me. The number one could barely contain her laughter as she went through the whole routine in a louder voice with exaggerated gestures right in front of the by now blushing ignorami.

CC themselves can be arsey too. Travelling home wearing civvies I quietly attracted the attention of one lady and asked her to tell the flight deck there was fluid dripping from beneath the flaps. Without looking she dismissed me with "It's just condensation off the wings" and started to walk away. "In that case" I replied "Perhaps you could inform the flight deck there's Skydrol(hydraulic fluid) coloured condensation dripping from the wings".

Passengers again. I boarded a national carrier and took my seat in Business Class. For various reasons I always remove my jacket and epaulettes once on board but of course by then the passengers nearby have seen them. One of the frumpy businessmen began to complain in their language about a pilot being in Business Class. I understood enough to hear the number one politely say I had a paid up ticket so....tough. Immediately after take-off there were a series of loud bangs from one of the engines which then spooled down. As I looked up from my newspaper I saw ALL eyes in the front cabin on me, including the pompous git who had tried to get me moved. Everybody's face bore the unasked "What's happening?". I smiled at Mr Pompous and said "Oh NOW you want to be my friend?".

Almost all of the passengers within earshot (who had heard his original complaint) laughed and relaxed somewhat. Nice smooth, if short, single engined flight saw us back on the ground ten minutes later.

[Jaguar Pilot]

f*cking Rupert with a map and compass".

I'm surprised he knew what either items were.

[west lakes]

For one thing I learned NEVER to stand still in a terminal while in uniform

Hey don't worry I was working in a nearby tourist town the other day, wearing Hi-vis jacket with the word "ELECTRICITY" in 4in high letters on the back - got accosted by a demanding why she had been given a parking ticket for parking a car & caravan in a bus bay! Took 10 mins to convince her it was nothing to do with me!!! Husband who was in car then tried to stop me as I left to do other work - like look after my customers!

C/C keep them coming those of us that deal with customers/members of public on a daily basis appreciate where you're coming from, show good customer service but enjoy the situation in private!

[Tigger4Me]

The hat rack one reminded me of a flight with a Spanish airline a couple of years ago from Malaga to Madrid. CC doing pre-flight checks asked an old biddy sitting in front of me to put her bag in the overhead. After a discussion between the two she finally put the bag up only to recover it shortly after take-off. For the next 15 minutes she sat chatting apparently to herself. Intrigued, I stood to stretch my legs and peered over her shoulder to see a dog in her lap. Barking mad I call it.

[foggyl]

serving sandwhiches onboard and a passenger asked for a vegetarian
Gave the pax a veggie and got a ear bashing from the pax as it was not veggie.
Checked the package and yes a veggie - but she cried "it says bacon"

On the side of the box it says ba.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go figure!!!

[FirmamentFX]

I am SLF but my job is conducting UK touring musicals - theatre audiences can be just as bad.

We were in Manchester at the Opera House waiting in the pit at the end of the interval for the "standby" from the stage for act 2. Unfortunately, during the interval rain had started leaking through the roof and onto the stage (this was all relayed to us musos by intercom). It got so bad that 40 minutes after act 2 was supposed to have started we were still waiting.

The audience had by this time become very restless and started a slow clap (which obviously really helped...). One guy came up to me and demanded that I start the music anyway and they would hear it on stage and start act 2 . After explaining very politely that the sound was not on, and the cast were no doubt still in their dressing rooms, he stormed off to stage door to have a go at the company manager.

Eventually the show was cancelled (1 hour after we were supposed to start). 2 people marched down to the pit after the PA announcement and demanded that I (personally) pay them back for their tickets because "it will be easier for me to claim the money back than them".

That is only one show out of a 7 month tour...

Slewing seamlessly back to the topic - as I stated in a thread in the SLF forum, CC - you have nothing but my respect and admiration. It's not just "chavvy scum" that annoy me as a Pax, but more so intelligent and educated people who feel that they deserve "special" and "different" treatment to the rest of us...

Martin

[Lberto]

Standing Before Stopping

Hello everybody , just joined the forum. I am an experienced SLF (100.000 req.flyer miles/year , in economy) , and a bit bored by other SLF, while apperciating and respecting in full the crew . To me it is at least strange to see people queuing up at the gate as far as somebody approaches the gate counter even if boarding is announced in 20 mins or more. But what gets me really crazy once landed is seeing fellow passengers getting up frantically just to stay squeezed in the aisle and being hit on the head by the overhead bins' doors. Moreover any time you stop at an intersection ,engines still well up , there's often somebody standing up and reprimended by the crew. I wait until the seat belt sign is switched off , besides that you have to hear the cross-check of emg exit order and the engines stopping to be sure you're close to unbuckle.

[Hobart RockStarr]

Passengers can be real tits.

Oh and on a funny note-
Just home from a flight to Manilla. Over all a fairly uneventful flight- pax very really polite and friendly. My Senior however had a strange passenger request. She came to me Laughing but looking slightly confused. A passenger had asked her "Ma'am He'd like some Milk"( Pointing to young boy) "OK sure" she replied, "hot or cold?" She asked. Problem was the pax didnt want Hot or cold cow's milk... She was asking for breast milk! Bizzare I know, but no word of a lie! We're pretty happy to have a look in business or first for a Y/C pax request, but I can't see a solution for this one...

[cherrycoke]

In reply to the post about being asked if crew member worked for easyJet whilst wearing the beautiful uniform, I'm pretty sure that crew member was me, it's definitely happened. It has also happened whilst I was in Ezy uniform in Asda. Sometimes I think people just expect the world on a plate. Then I have to try and remember they don't know any better!

Also, one passenger opened the back locker which has NO STOWAGE written on it, then asked me if he could have one of the pillows (Lifecots) in it.

Most people on our flights manage to open the toilet door ok, it's just finding it they have a problem with. I wish Airbus would write TOILET instead of LAVATORY.

And finally, does my gift shop trolley LOOK like a bin?

Big Love

[justD]

A comment on a random website:

"I was on two XXXXX flights in which the planes felt so out-of-control we were gripping our seats the entire time. The second time, before landing we dropped so far so fast that the entire plane screamed. Not a very good PR move."

DUH!!!!!!!

[warkman]

Quote "And finally, does my gift shop trolley LOOK like a bin?

Big Love" End quote

YES!!

[take-off]

well was at cash machine outside morrisons the otherday, me in my (shame faced asda uniform). Angry looking old guy came ranting up to me,telling me i should tell my boss that i should get some more fing checkouts open, as the q's were fing horrendous, said certainly sir im sure my boss at asda would love to put more ckout operators in a rival store..... U should have seen his face, what made me laugh was the old dear that said to me ...wot a tw@T!

[marydoll]

"

Almost all my flights are from Ireland to Scotland so it's
teacoffeteacoffeteacoffe really quick because the flight's only an hour."

Try DUB-LPL or DUB-PIK i've done them in 18 mins and it's tecoftecofftecoffgiftsgashland!!!!! lol

[flightychick]

"I am an experienced SLF (100.000 req.flyer miles/year , in economy)"

Are you some kind of Time Lord?? There are less than 9000 hours in a year!!!