Wasn't this phraseology banned after it was found that it had contributed to the death of 500+ people ?

It was, after the KLM/Pan-Am Disaster.

Amsterdam , request rwy 06 to avoid
"to avoid what?" (weather is cavok)
to avoid the polderbaan..(18R)
(big laughter following by roger cleared direct)

Refreshment on the simulator:

DHL123: "Mayday mayday mayday, radar, DHL123 lost engine number one."
ATC: "Mayday approved"

Don't get it.

If you look at a map of Schiphol, you can see that 18R is kinda very far out from the other runways and the terminals.
Longer taxiing etc.

Polderbaan
 

Understatement of the year - Polderbaan may well already be in Belgium :zzz:

Belgium?? Your map is a bit off....more like the third runway at Heathrow!:E

Ghost riders in the sky
 

"............and how many on board?"

"None"

While doing my ppl(h) and starting using the radio on my own - requesting hover taxi to the heli strip

A/c - requesting lift-off and hover taxi to heli strip two six, g-**
Atc - g-** lift-off approved, runway 26, fly me to the moon!

Instructor laughing

This happened during my initial flight training in Kissimmee, Florida. On tower frequency about to make a VRP call to rejoin and land but someone beats me to it...


A/C (middle-eastern modular student): Kissimme Tower, N**** at the sand pits with the AWOS, inbound full stop landing

TWR: Roger N****, report at the water towers for runway 33 left hand

A/C: Report at the twin towers for 33 left hand, N****

-brief silence-

TWR: Ok...


Me and my instructor cringed at this very un-pc error!

"Student G-****, confirm your level"

"Confirm I'm level"

American Pilot: "Woah. (pause). Woah woah woah woah!!!! (yelling) Did you see that?"
Some London ATC: "Affirm"

Pilot: "He was way too close!"
ATC: "Would you like to upgrade to a traffic service?"

Pilot: "How about a 'I don't wanna hit anyone else' kinda service?"
ATC: "We have a deconfliction service but there are too many contacts in your area to deconflict you from them."

Pilot: "Can you just give me the best service you have?"
ATC: "I can only give you a limited traffic service due to controller workload and multiple contacts observed in your area. Unfortunately that means late or no warning of traffic."

Pilot: "All right. But this is reallll scaaary noww!"

Brilliant :ok: Gonna offer that to somone the day I retire & see what happens ! ;)

I recently asked for "first class"
 

got a laugh but not a better service.

glf

then there is the old Brize service.

"request type of service required"

"the normal !!!! one will do"

One herk pilot in a whole heap of trouble once on the ground.

ATC: "XXX107 essential aerodrome information, geese observed to be crossing the climbout, this time, south to north."

Pilot: Ahh yes sir, we have the traffic on TCAS.

RRRR heheheh lllllyyy

ATC: Essential aerodrome information, flock of geese observed crossing the climbout out for runway 28, south to north.

Pilot: Ahh yes sir, we have the ttraffic on TCAS.

Really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not strictly ATC but heard this conversation between 2 Quantas F/C and small Thai dispatcher at the newly opened Bangkok airport walking down depp gates. "So we have been to gate XX and gate XX and now gate XX with no 777 on any of them let alone a Quantas one. Have you any idea where you have put my aircraft !" Made me smile as I was playing hunt the EK lounge with one of the Thai airport staff at the time, who also seemed unaware of where that was as well !. :O

Be very hard to find a Qantas 777 I think!

Rac/Ops
You are right it could not have been 777, must have been 747 but it was after a long day and in a busy terminal (do not pay much attention to a/c fleet on Quantas as I do not use them) so that,s my excuse:O. Still comment made me smile as that airport had its fare share of teething issues at the time and this was just one of the funnier things that I experianced in transit in the first few months :).

Even harder, in fact impossible to find a Quantas one!!!

Ok I was tired I give in !!!:ouch:

Fussy and boring, typical examples of air traffic controllers :E

"We want to taxi to groundco on landing"

"Roger, are you familiar with their location?"

"Negarive, we'll need a white stick"

Prestwick has one of the longest runways in the UK, it also has two fling clubs so on any given day there can be anything from a micro light to an Antonov or Galaxy arriving or departing. As I was taxing out there was a C150 had just taxied out and a 747F had come in behind it.

Atc: Cessna g-xxxx cleared for take off

C150:cleared for take off

Atc: 747F after departing C150 line up an wait, caution wake turbulence :-D

<<Fussy and boring, typical examples of air traffic controllers>>

Aha.. we have a Tels bloke in our midst!

Well Prestwick is in Scotland so what do you expect? ;)
It's also the place where an ATCO made my day with the instruction to a USAF C130 "Give way to the Cessna 152 ....." I was the pilot in the 152. :)

3am at a major middle east hub airport.....

"delivery morning (xxxx125) (xxx=large middle eastern carrier bent on worldwide domination) request clearance .......xc fora dirndl "blocked"

"delivery xxxx564 request clearance to JFK.....dhrnwbdrh John "BLOCKED"

This continued for another two minutes before delivery replied...

"all xxxx aircraft requesting clearance shut up will you! I will get to you one at a time...."

" Ah delivery....that's gonna make us late...can I blame you?"

"negative blame your poxy scheduling department....":}:}:}:}

Whoever generates the callsigns at Specsavers has a sense of humour.

Had 'SPECSAVERS241' on frequency the other week which neither the pilot or myself managed to say without a small giggle.

Good job he didn't divert into Luton by mistake!

Do spec savers run their own aircraft? :-O

Specsavers flight ops in Channel Islands
 

Unless they have changed, a Beech 200 for corporate transport, as well as collect and delivery of optical orders, then the UK outlets. Factory is in CI.

glf

2 Beech 350s, as corporate shuttles. No freight carried, and factories are all in the uk.

sorry thought factory in Gurnsey
 

Did they have a factory in GCI, saw many boxes of freight several years ago, in GCI.

Sorry believed B200....I stand corrected.



glf

Sorry glf, I could have answered better!

The Guernsey operation is one of the 3 main UK offices, others in Nottingham and Fareham.

Guernsey also has 2 warehouses (there are another 15 worldwide) that import and distribute frames to the UK. The warehouses are there for historical reasons - there's not a tax angle!

The King Airs fly scheduled services daily to EGHI and twice weekly to EGNX - and elsewhere according to business needs.

A/C "ABC123 request FL3600"

ATC "Roger ABC123 report re-entry."

Not humour as such, and probably been heard around before, but my first time hearing the Callsign "Specsavers 241" on London Control this morning. The chap on the radio was obviously a good company man as he was shortening the pronunciation of the '4'

Mooning
 

Australian capital city airport, sun has just set and moon is rising majestically over the ranges:

B737 has just vacated the runway and is taxiing to the terminal.
As the aircraft truns a corner on the taxiway, the (senior sounding) pilot, overwhelmed by the beautiful vista through the windscreen says over the radio, "That's a magnificent moon!".

The ground controller responds with, "Whoops, I didn't think you'd be able to see me from over there".

That's great. Best post on here for ages!

747 calling in:

Pilot: Mach .84 direct XXXXX, FL370
ATC: Can you reduce to Mach .80?
Pilot: Yes, we'll try and stay airborne with that!