You Know You Are In Africa When.....
Africa - It's Contagious
When joining from the S in 100% CAVOK for Rwy 05 the US military "controller" gives you routing instructions for a 20 mile DME arc that must be joined from the North and takes you over land instead of nice safe sea and then mechanically intones (put on hick backwoods accent) "Mogadishu airspace believed to be compromised" and merely repeats it like a robot when asked what it means - as does his supervisor when you call him by landline on landing. Pointing out that 'compromised' has no specific meaning and that failing to identify whatever they thought important enough to tell us about was rather pointless proved completely ineffective.
It can't be something in the water as theirs was all flown in by C5...
It can't be something in the water as theirs was all flown in by C5...
You know you’re in afrika when you get shaken down at a routine “traffic stop” and the “police” find “BEEG problem”. You point out that they don’t have any bullets in the second cops kalishnikov and that you’d rather be at the pub. 2 heinekens are exchanged as well as pleasantries and all problems disappear, smiles and handshakes ensue, and you are expeditiously Enroute to your original destination.
"Nigeria used to have Okada Airlines, operating the world's largest fleet of BAC1-11s."
I once saw an Okada Air 1-11 at Dan Air maintenance and it was in such a state - broken seats, oil leaking out of every pore, tires different sizes, huge curls of paint sticking up from aerofoil surfaces etc - I thought it was being scrapped; but no it was in for a C check!
I once saw an Okada Air 1-11 at Dan Air maintenance and it was in such a state - broken seats, oil leaking out of every pore, tires different sizes, huge curls of paint sticking up from aerofoil surfaces etc - I thought it was being scrapped; but no it was in for a C check!
Strange conversations with tower
A recent 'only in Africa experience' at a certain African airfield, possibly of interest.
We are waiting to line-up with a ZS Cessna Citation ahead of us.
The density altitude at the time was over 8,000' and I am sure they were reluctant to abandon several 100 feet of runway by maneuvering past the freaking big rock before staring their run. But hey, TIA!
We are waiting to line-up with a ZS Cessna Citation ahead of us.
- ZS: tower, ZS, there is a large rock on the runway adjacent to taxiway B. Could someone remove it please?
- tower: standby
- time passing......growing line of a/c...nothing happens...
- ZS: errr, tower, ZS, standing by
- tower: ZS, line-up and wait
- ZS: line-up and wait....but there is still a rock on the runway.....
- silence
- tower: ZS clear for take-off
- ZS: we are waiting for someone to move the rock.
- ...standy...
- ...and so on..for 10 minutes at least, no apparent action or understanding from tower
- .....
- Finally, from tower: ...... ZS. Caution rocks on runway adjacent to taxiway B. clear for take-off. !!!
- ZS, sigh, clear for take off.
The density altitude at the time was over 8,000' and I am sure they were reluctant to abandon several 100 feet of runway by maneuvering past the freaking big rock before staring their run. But hey, TIA!
Last edited by double_barrel; 22nd Aug 2020 at 08:54.
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This is one of the more colorful and entertaining threads on Pprune. I was at the shiny, not new, but remodeled terminal of the only international airport in a certain country on the equator, next to kenya and Uganda. They installed floor to ceiling windows. The ceiling were at least 15 meters high. I was taking a boys trip to Bujumbura Burundi and travelling on the national airline of said country. The windows look out into the ramp. The windows were promptly covered by advertisements and made opaque. They called the flight for Burundi in the local language and not in English. I almost missed my flight as I didn’t know they were boarding as the announcement wasn’t in English and you couldn’t see the plane. Furthermore, I had to buy a ticket, even though I was a Captain for said airline. They couldn’t even get me a rebate ticket.
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I was stopped for the third time at a traffic check in a Southern African state, the sergeant approached and enquired about my journey and destination . My reply was satisfactory then said “ we are hungry sir” as it happened I had a large bag of cookies alongside me I had been munching through, I handed the half empty bag to him “ thank you sir have a nice journey “.
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On a long cross border trip, I was traveling with a African lady as interpreter, “ don’t tell them we are crossing the border at the police checks they can be really difficult, leave it to me.”
So I greeted the police in the local language, then she carried on telling them we were visiting mother in law in her local village. This broke the ice immediately and after a short banter we carried on to the next check point and repeated the routine 7 times!.
Arriving at the border post she fast tracked us through, nothing like local knowledge
So I greeted the police in the local language, then she carried on telling them we were visiting mother in law in her local village. This broke the ice immediately and after a short banter we carried on to the next check point and repeated the routine 7 times!.
Arriving at the border post she fast tracked us through, nothing like local knowledge
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What happened to "You know you are in Africa when..." thread?
I think that's what it was called? I don't come here often, but that was one of my favorites. Can someone create a new one? I never flew in dark Africa so I don't have any stories.
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To this day this is by far the best thread on the intranetz!
Not having any aviation related experience from the continent to contribute, I beg of you that have; please never let this thread die!
Praise is due to all of y'all frequent and infrequent posters for some of the best tales I've heard.
Not having any aviation related experience from the continent to contribute, I beg of you that have; please never let this thread die!
Praise is due to all of y'all frequent and infrequent posters for some of the best tales I've heard.
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You know you’re in Africa when you get new 737-800’s and they’re ordered with zero options and picked by a committee of individuals who have never seen an airplane. When they are told that the 24,000 lb thrust motors will not have sufficient takeoff performance to perform the inaugural dubai flight from the 5000’ field elevation airport, the new foreign flight ops management is immediately blamed. The aircraft was ordered a year prior to their arrival. Boeing graciously agrees to fit the new aircraft with 27k motors for the small sum of 1,000,000. The same “committe” of experts accuse the flight ops management of embezzling $1,000,000 for the upgraded engines.