You Know You Are In Africa When.....
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Poinciana
Posts: 27
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Poinciana
Posts: 27
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Drain Bamaged
You know you are reading a topic about Africa when:
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: I don't even know anymore
Posts: 55
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
You know you in Africa if a passenger somehow gets through security with 48 shotgun shells in his hand luggage!
His excuse: He has a license to trade in ammunition but he forgot to take the shells out his backpack before leaving for the airport!!
His excuse: He has a license to trade in ammunition but he forgot to take the shells out his backpack before leaving for the airport!!
Last edited by Plore; 11th Nov 2010 at 21:45.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: I don't even know anymore
Posts: 55
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
BKrug67 (post #354)
"Hello,
I am looking for any information about the Nigerian air law exams. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?
Even a different thread here? Am I in the wrong place?
Thank you!
b"
Do they have air laws in Nigeria?
"Hello,
I am looking for any information about the Nigerian air law exams. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?
Even a different thread here? Am I in the wrong place?
Thank you!
b"
Do they have air laws in Nigeria?
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: I don't even know anymore
Posts: 55
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
You know you in Africa when...
There are more French speaking people than in France.
The hotel staff greet you with a big smile, a salute and a "bonjour captain" when you're in your engineers uniform.
Everything you ask gets answered with a yes, whether that’s the right answer or not.
None of the vehicles on the airside has a single panel that’s not dented/severely damaged.
All the building projects are on hold until a brick maker comes to your site to hand make the bricks you require with your raw material you supply on site.
If you have a screwdriver you are a handyman.
If you have a side cutter you are an electrician.
If you have a spanner you are a plumber.
If you have a drill you are an engineer.
If you have a screwdriver, side cutter, spanner and a drill you are very very saught after.
If you have a motorcar accident you have to leave your car exactly as it is (even on the highway) and get a taxi to go look for a police officer to come take a report. Bribing works wonders.
In the middle of the road IS the perfect place to stop to pick up or drop off passengers.
You can only buy a couple of million Zim dollars with the currency of the country you’re currently in. If you're in Zim already they're worth even less.
The hotel staff greet you with a big smile, a salute and a "bonjour captain" when you're in your engineers uniform.
Everything you ask gets answered with a yes, whether that’s the right answer or not.
None of the vehicles on the airside has a single panel that’s not dented/severely damaged.
All the building projects are on hold until a brick maker comes to your site to hand make the bricks you require with your raw material you supply on site.
If you have a screwdriver you are a handyman.
If you have a side cutter you are an electrician.
If you have a spanner you are a plumber.
If you have a drill you are an engineer.
If you have a screwdriver, side cutter, spanner and a drill you are very very saught after.
If you have a motorcar accident you have to leave your car exactly as it is (even on the highway) and get a taxi to go look for a police officer to come take a report. Bribing works wonders.
In the middle of the road IS the perfect place to stop to pick up or drop off passengers.
You can only buy a couple of million Zim dollars with the currency of the country you’re currently in. If you're in Zim already they're worth even less.
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: california, usa
Posts: 79
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
You know you're in Africa when:
They actually call you "Commandant" when you're in your engineer/FO uniform.
You are always flying in with brand-new, properly labeled, TSO'd cargo nets, and all outbound freight is covered with tattered barely "legal" nets that you know will be condemned at the next stop off the continent.
By having european features, you can walk thru the hotel metal detector and it beeps like crazy, and nobody stops you, but folks who are obviously natives of the city, country, and continent must also empty their pockets and submit to wanding to enter the hotel.
The bar is serving Tusker.
There is a vodun(voodoo) fetish market in town.
The airport airport baggage cart and cargo-pallet dolly tugs are farm tractors.
You see giraffes on the way to the crew hotel.
Most of the temp-sensitive(cooled) inbound cargo onboard is HIV drugs.
Little wide-eyed kids look at you, look at their parents, and say "Mzungu!!" (unless you aren't one).
When the beggars on the street and shopfront steps actually look VERY deserving of your spare change.
You are always flying in with brand-new, properly labeled, TSO'd cargo nets, and all outbound freight is covered with tattered barely "legal" nets that you know will be condemned at the next stop off the continent.
By having european features, you can walk thru the hotel metal detector and it beeps like crazy, and nobody stops you, but folks who are obviously natives of the city, country, and continent must also empty their pockets and submit to wanding to enter the hotel.
The bar is serving Tusker.
There is a vodun(voodoo) fetish market in town.
The airport airport baggage cart and cargo-pallet dolly tugs are farm tractors.
You see giraffes on the way to the crew hotel.
Most of the temp-sensitive(cooled) inbound cargo onboard is HIV drugs.
Little wide-eyed kids look at you, look at their parents, and say "Mzungu!!" (unless you aren't one).
When the beggars on the street and shopfront steps actually look VERY deserving of your spare change.
Last edited by 727gm; 25th Jun 2011 at 07:10.
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Central Africa
Posts: 142
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
You know you're in Africa when:
1. Arriving on a left base you are belatedly told you MUST join left downwind. So, you fly the wrong way up downwind, turn around, fly back down downwind to land!
2. The controller gets distracted talking to someone else, and forgets to clear you to land. You are short finals and execute a go-around.
3. You are driving through town and are stopped by the police. The officer says, 'you drove through a red light'. You say, 'But the lights are not working, they haven't worked for years!' Officer: 'But I was timing you, and you went through when the light would have been red!'
2. The controller gets distracted talking to someone else, and forgets to clear you to land. You are short finals and execute a go-around.
3. You are driving through town and are stopped by the police. The officer says, 'you drove through a red light'. You say, 'But the lights are not working, they haven't worked for years!' Officer: 'But I was timing you, and you went through when the light would have been red!'
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: South Africa
Age: 59
Posts: 23
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
You fly to Dubai on Emirates and Airport Security allow a drunk passenger with two cans of beer to board the aircraft. He subsequently loses his boarding pass, assaults an air hostess, throws most of his beer over a moslem passenger AND only on taxing to the runway, do they decide to put the passenger off. take off two hours late
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: South Africa
Age: 59
Posts: 23
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
And here I was thinking Dubai is in Middle East 
If you had used a little savvy, you would have noticed we flew out of OR Tambo. How can ACSA allow a drunk passenger walking with two cans of beer in his hands to board an aircraft.
ONLY IN EFRIKA
If you had used a little savvy, you would have noticed we flew out of OR Tambo. How can ACSA allow a drunk passenger walking with two cans of beer in his hands to board an aircraft.
ONLY IN EFRIKA
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: South Africa
Posts: 510
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
ACSA don't do boarding. The airline's SA agents do that.
I agree with the general sentiment though. And the local airlines don't fare any better at keeping drunks off the a/c.
I agree with the general sentiment though. And the local airlines don't fare any better at keeping drunks off the a/c.
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Indonesia
Posts: 5
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
You know you are in Africa
When the tow truck driver asks for a 100 dollars cash and simply ignores your A320 until a Benjamin Franklin is thrown out of the cockpit window.
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Texas/Tripoli
Posts: 18
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
--You are given lat/longs for an airport that isn't in the fms database or on the Jepp enroute chart. Inquire about approach charts and told that "it will be vfr."
--Your FO produces a chart for an airport that is neither your departure, destination or alternate. You ask what is that for, and he says "to have something to look at."
--Your payday corresponds to the day that you decide to stop flying.
--Your contract states your salary will be wire transfered to a bank of your choosing, but what that really means is you will be paid in cash, and hopefully you will survive the walk to the Moneygram shop to wire it home in $1000 increments.
--Your F/A puts bread in the microwave still wrapped in aluminum foil, and tries to extinguish the ensuing fire with aerosol air freshener.
--Company is trying to cut costs, but refuse to put a stop to F/As putting perfumes and sunglasses for themselves from the duty-free shop on the catering bill (The 6.000Euro catering bill) because "ordering the catering is their job".
--You walk into the public toilet and a bunch of guys' are washing their feet in the sinks...with their balls resting on the counter.
--You are 3 hours late departing because you don't have "CAA approval to fly".
more later...
--Your FO produces a chart for an airport that is neither your departure, destination or alternate. You ask what is that for, and he says "to have something to look at."
--Your payday corresponds to the day that you decide to stop flying.
--Your contract states your salary will be wire transfered to a bank of your choosing, but what that really means is you will be paid in cash, and hopefully you will survive the walk to the Moneygram shop to wire it home in $1000 increments.
--Your F/A puts bread in the microwave still wrapped in aluminum foil, and tries to extinguish the ensuing fire with aerosol air freshener.
--Company is trying to cut costs, but refuse to put a stop to F/As putting perfumes and sunglasses for themselves from the duty-free shop on the catering bill (The 6.000Euro catering bill) because "ordering the catering is their job".
--You walk into the public toilet and a bunch of guys' are washing their feet in the sinks...with their balls resting on the counter.
--You are 3 hours late departing because you don't have "CAA approval to fly".
more later...
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Where the contracts are
Posts: 50
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
..... you give the "ATC" all your details - via a long and drawn out question/answer method after which he tells you to report the runway in sight. Runway comes into view and the tower duly informed. The instruction comes back to report turning final. On asking for which runway the answer is "the TAR runway!"
after which he tells you to report the runway in sight. Runway comes into view and the tower duly informed. The instruction comes back to report turning final. On asking for which runway the answer is "the TAR runway!"