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Old 10th May 2006, 21:13
  #1981 (permalink)  
 
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'These new Eurofighters are pretty basic!'
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Old 11th May 2006, 00:17
  #1982 (permalink)  
 
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"Ok,try not to look........ Is it my imagination, or is there another Scotsman beside me suspended from a yellow wire?"

(He didn't smoke drugs at University, honestly!)

or

The Defence Secretary invented perpetual motion when he bought a flying machine that could run on hot air!
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Old 11th May 2006, 00:29
  #1983 (permalink)  
 
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"Aye Laddie, you pedal quicker if you want to increase speed"

or

"Yes Sir, first the guns went, then for for savings they remove the engines"
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Old 11th May 2006, 08:56
  #1984 (permalink)  
 
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"I'm sorry, but on that showing you've just lost your category. I'm busting you back to G2".
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Old 15th May 2006, 09:18
  #1985 (permalink)  
 
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This has gone a bit quiet so here we go with the results:

In 3rd - Lafyar Cokov, for his good idea about Running Man. Beats Big Brother any time.

In 2nd - rock_dove, possibly too close to the truth.

But in 1st place - Brian Dixon with his slightly surreal but also quite believable caption.

Over to you Brian.
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Old 15th May 2006, 14:42
  #1986 (permalink)  
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WhiteOvies,
thank you! Isn't it a bit early in the day to be drinking??
A feeble effort, but here goes:

Two to three days to run, or until a really laugh out loud moment arrives!
Good luck all.
Brian
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Old 15th May 2006, 14:45
  #1987 (permalink)  
 
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The USA missed the point somewhat when it trialled setting up an RAF Regiment-style unit.
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Old 15th May 2006, 14:50
  #1988 (permalink)  
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Early trials of first-generation 'smart' bombs
 
Old 15th May 2006, 15:03
  #1989 (permalink)  
adr

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It was considered more discreet to conduct proof-of-concept trials with another airframe belonging to a friendly airforce. Only if these succeeded would the team apply to trial the proposed system with the Typhoon.

-or-

Yeah, it's a kludge, but it still outguns the Typhoon.

-or-

At least we can get the ammo.

adr
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Old 15th May 2006, 15:04
  #1990 (permalink)  
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The USAF General admitted that their response to the news of TypHoon's Air to Ground capability might have been a bit hasty....
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Old 15th May 2006, 15:13
  #1991 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by adr
Yeah, it's a kludge, but it still outguns the Typhoon.
-adr

Keyboard, coffee, spew.......
 
Old 15th May 2006, 15:37
  #1992 (permalink)  
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MOD procurement person:

"We'd like to buy the aircraft, but we have decided to do without the gun. How much would it be for an exact non-working replica of the gun system so the CofG doesn't change?"

Manufacturer "We can do the non-working replica, but it will cost you the same. Why not have the real thing?"

MOD person "We've had a strategic review conducted by consultants, and they've suggested we tone down our image, which is currently too macho. We won't be called Defence or Armed Forces anymore, we'll be known as Friendly United Kingdom Comrades Eager to Reduce Strife, so guns are a definite no-no."

Manufacturer "Certainly, nice doing business with you"
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Old 15th May 2006, 21:39
  #1993 (permalink)  
 
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After 3 hours with the vetting oficer, PFC Ozwalski was shown exactly what strap clearances really meant.
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Old 15th May 2006, 21:54
  #1994 (permalink)  
 
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When the problems of the Typhoon's lack of gun and what to do with all the navigators were combined, the solution seemed obvious....
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Old 16th May 2006, 00:05
  #1995 (permalink)  
 
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They called it "Comrade Released Airborne Portions" which was dumped in high G turns in unlimited amounts. However it was banned as it contravened the chemical warfare treaty in force and its explosive power was irregular.
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Old 16th May 2006, 00:20
  #1996 (permalink)  
 
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"The female version offers considerably less drag but harmonisation is a hell of a problem when we have a mixed load."
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Old 16th May 2006, 04:33
  #1997 (permalink)  
 
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Leaninig is getting a tad out of hand
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Old 16th May 2006, 07:22
  #1998 (permalink)  
 
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This wasn't the sort of strap-on the 'don't ask-don't tell' recruit had hoped for!
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Old 16th May 2006, 07:36
  #1999 (permalink)  
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Recognition Student:...Mmmm, tricky one Sir. From the firing arc I'd guess it can't be Italian..... Perhaps Irish? ...their latest troop carrier maybe.
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Old 16th May 2006, 10:26
  #2000 (permalink)  
 
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The procurement people had really pulled it out of the bag this time with the incredibly cheap weapon zeroing system.

and

PFC Ozwalski's S & M fetish had ventured into work during a routine spell of maintenance, now, just where was the chief?

Last edited by mutleyfour; 16th May 2006 at 13:23.
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