Ryanair cost cutting plan
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And I bet they are taking notes!!!! 
This thread is being talked about by some orange crew as well. It's the funniest thing we have seen for a long time...
A tad worried though because when I'm on airport standby as CC I'm paid.... albeit a pittance.I might actually be expected to earn my money now
Just imagine some "forward thinking" manager at orangeland might actually plagerise these ideas as their own so not only would they have CC pushing back the planes but CC are expensive on airport standby at EZY so why not utilise them for the following at EZY or FR:
Why not do the safety briefing pre flight at the boarding gate? To check SLF understanding we could do a competition (paid entry of course) where the highest score gets an emergency exit row and some legroom aka an ABP....after all anyone can open a door right?? That has been previously posted on PPrune....
For reassurance purposes we could have some CC "mini me's"!! Inflatables at the exits to make the SLF think we are actually there but they actually weigh nothing.....OMG I forgot about fuel efficency until now.
In case anyone is wondering I post in jest and have the ability to laugh at both companies. Who knows what may be policy next week
Keep it coming people......hilarious
This thread is being talked about by some orange crew as well. It's the funniest thing we have seen for a long time...
A tad worried though because when I'm on airport standby as CC I'm paid.... albeit a pittance.I might actually be expected to earn my money now
Just imagine some "forward thinking" manager at orangeland might actually plagerise these ideas as their own so not only would they have CC pushing back the planes but CC are expensive on airport standby at EZY so why not utilise them for the following at EZY or FR:
- Baggage loading....why pay a loader when the airport standby CC can do it??
- Re fueling the plane....how hard can it be really?? A CC could manage it. After all you only have to stick the pipe in the wing don't you? Nothing else matters at this point other than OTP.....hopefully??
- Gate revenue.....how have any LOCO managers missed this one!!! We all know the CC are on board to create ancillary revenue don't we??. Why carry their extra wieght if not neccesary. Do the service at the gate on boarding. In fact proof of purchase could supersede the boarding card
!!! Furthermore we could sell them seatbelts, loo tokens etc at this point as well
Why not do the safety briefing pre flight at the boarding gate? To check SLF understanding we could do a competition (paid entry of course) where the highest score gets an emergency exit row and some legroom aka an ABP....after all anyone can open a door right?? That has been previously posted on PPrune....
For reassurance purposes we could have some CC "mini me's"!! Inflatables at the exits to make the SLF think we are actually there but they actually weigh nothing.....OMG I forgot about fuel efficency until now.
In case anyone is wondering I post in jest and have the ability to laugh at both companies. Who knows what may be policy next week
Keep it coming people......hilarious
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ENGILOT's
I would install ENGILOT's.
Train the lazy buggers in the front as engineers, ENGINEER + PILOT = ENGILOT
They sit the whole turn around in the cockpit, damn, when they break something, they should fix it themself....would safe a fortune
Train the lazy buggers in the front as engineers, ENGINEER + PILOT = ENGILOT
They sit the whole turn around in the cockpit, damn, when they break something, they should fix it themself....would safe a fortune
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Install a frequent-flyer loyalty programme and force every employee to fly a minimum amount of legs (full fare, of course) every year and to acquire friends / family to do the same. If the targeted number of flights at the end of the year is not being met, deduct something from the salaries.
It's their job, isn't it? Everyone on FR's payroll should get involved.
It's their job, isn't it? Everyone on FR's payroll should get involved.
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You RYR pilots wish... No, you need that all other airlines go bankrupt.
There is one who told me that:
"In this manner, all of you would have to go ask O´leary, the big pimp, for a job.
Only then you would know the pleasure of working for him. Really. If you just knew how it feels. He is so, so "macho"...! He knows when you deserve a punishment. Ah, and the fear he puts on you... Not even the fear you experience in the Cassino can match that. It is so addictive! You are going to love it, I promise.
Join us!
join us....
join us....
join us...."
then I started running as I realised she had all her clothes ragged and was walking towards me with her arms extended. And other fellows appeared in the same fashion.
"Join us...
join us...
join us..."
Ah, no. This was a nightmare, only.
But it can become true, sadly.
My contribution to cost cutting:
"PEE BEFORE GETTING INSIDE THE AIRPLANE. GET RID OF ALL THAT EXTRA WEIGHT"
There is one who told me that:
"In this manner, all of you would have to go ask O´leary, the big pimp, for a job.
Only then you would know the pleasure of working for him. Really. If you just knew how it feels. He is so, so "macho"...! He knows when you deserve a punishment. Ah, and the fear he puts on you... Not even the fear you experience in the Cassino can match that. It is so addictive! You are going to love it, I promise.
Join us!
join us....
join us....
join us...."
then I started running as I realised she had all her clothes ragged and was walking towards me with her arms extended. And other fellows appeared in the same fashion.
"Join us...
join us...
join us..."
Ah, no. This was a nightmare, only.
But it can become true, sadly.
My contribution to cost cutting:
"PEE BEFORE GETTING INSIDE THE AIRPLANE. GET RID OF ALL THAT EXTRA WEIGHT"
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I'm surprised that MOL hasn't followed the example set by the military - that is assign 'secondary duties'.
The pilot is employed in the 'general duties' department of the airline with a primary duty as 'pilot'.
Individual pilots could then be designated for additional duties (excluding Union Rep of course!).
This would ensure maximum use of resources whilst achieving minimum cost.
I don't know of any specific examples but these may include:
1. Photographer for Ryanair Calendar;
2. Interviewing suitable candidates for said Calendar (male pilots only);
3. MOL car washer (whilst on airport standby only);
4. MOL valet (whilst on airport standby only);
5. Actually the list is endless ...
FOK
The pilot is employed in the 'general duties' department of the airline with a primary duty as 'pilot'.
Individual pilots could then be designated for additional duties (excluding Union Rep of course!).
This would ensure maximum use of resources whilst achieving minimum cost.
I don't know of any specific examples but these may include:
1. Photographer for Ryanair Calendar;
2. Interviewing suitable candidates for said Calendar (male pilots only);
3. MOL car washer (whilst on airport standby only);
4. MOL valet (whilst on airport standby only);
5. Actually the list is endless ...
FOK
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LOADSHEETS:
why does the company have to spend thousands of $ in printing those loadsheets when the crews are fully trained not only to check, fill and sign but also to draw them!
Have the crews take a few A4 papers from home and make them fill in those loadsheets with their own pens in 2 copies.
The first 2 copies will be prepared by the F/O up to the payload at home after he's found out the APS weight for his aircraft by calling ops with his own phone, the following copies can be comfortably done in the cruise during flights.
If the IAA has anything to object then the airline could do a one day training on "fast loadsheet preparation" in order to bring the crews up to speed with their drawing techniques , of course at the pilots' expense.
IRISHPILOT1990,
why would you care about BA and other loss making airlines?????
Our shareholders and cost cutting are the only things we should be concerned about!!
When other airlines go bust and fellow pilots lose thir jobs we should celebrate!!!We wish every competitor bad luck by painting our aircraft with explicit sentences afterall...
Talking about painting aircraft....BRK pilots should be called in with their own paint to do that job during their mandatory month off.
They are self employed professionals afterall!
why does the company have to spend thousands of $ in printing those loadsheets when the crews are fully trained not only to check, fill and sign but also to draw them!
Have the crews take a few A4 papers from home and make them fill in those loadsheets with their own pens in 2 copies.
The first 2 copies will be prepared by the F/O up to the payload at home after he's found out the APS weight for his aircraft by calling ops with his own phone, the following copies can be comfortably done in the cruise during flights.
If the IAA has anything to object then the airline could do a one day training on "fast loadsheet preparation" in order to bring the crews up to speed with their drawing techniques , of course at the pilots' expense.
Would be better if some other airlines like BA implemented some of the above ideas?
then they might stop posting loses of millions and millions!!!!!!!!!
Then at least this time next year their pilots will have a job!
then they might stop posting loses of millions and millions!!!!!!!!!
Then at least this time next year their pilots will have a job!
why would you care about BA and other loss making airlines?????
Our shareholders and cost cutting are the only things we should be concerned about!!
When other airlines go bust and fellow pilots lose thir jobs we should celebrate!!!We wish every competitor bad luck by painting our aircraft with explicit sentences afterall...
Talking about painting aircraft....BRK pilots should be called in with their own paint to do that job during their mandatory month off.
They are self employed professionals afterall!
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What a daft amount of comments! I bet half of the posting are done by no-Ryanair pilots and the other half probably, would not be accepted in the company. What is this...evey company looks for costing cutting measures. Some are unreasnable and others are just not plane feasable. The fact of the matter is that for one reason or another this company, seems to be making money. Charging low fares and obvously keeping the costs down!! Or how else do you think they are able to attract 62m pax every year. Certainly not for good service! But yes, offering lower fares, getting off on time and flying to places where others don't want to fly too. The Fr format is working but, obvously with a strong oposition from others in the industry!
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Ha ha ha, this is great humour BUT it has a horrible likeness to the guests on the Titanic cracking jokes about icebergs.....
MPH, you must be the chap who polishes and re-arranges the deck-chairs on the aforementioned Titanic, hope you're happy in your work, its got a great future
MPH, you must be the chap who polishes and re-arranges the deck-chairs on the aforementioned Titanic, hope you're happy in your work, its got a great future
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Strange you should come up with all these great revenue enhancers when we are actively looking for means of increasing the ancillary revenue and saving on operating costs.
One of the issues under consideration is charging the equivalent of "corkage" on the food and drink you bring on board as we have to pay to have it removed: think of it as your contribution to the environment rather than a charge.
The other one we are critically examining is the introduction of a "green charge": it has nothing to do with the environment of course, but since you lot love to whine about "hidden charges", we thought that a charge for flying Irish as a "green charge" would give you endless hours of entertainment. Aer Lingus may also introduce this charge.
Our efforts also extend to reducing the costs at arports: we are now carrying metal trays to asssit in in the speedy disembarkation of passengers of reduced mobility as the lift off can often be time consuming and traumatic, not say expensive.
One of the issues under consideration is charging the equivalent of "corkage" on the food and drink you bring on board as we have to pay to have it removed: think of it as your contribution to the environment rather than a charge.
The other one we are critically examining is the introduction of a "green charge": it has nothing to do with the environment of course, but since you lot love to whine about "hidden charges", we thought that a charge for flying Irish as a "green charge" would give you endless hours of entertainment. Aer Lingus may also introduce this charge.
Our efforts also extend to reducing the costs at arports: we are now carrying metal trays to asssit in in the speedy disembarkation of passengers of reduced mobility as the lift off can often be time consuming and traumatic, not say expensive.
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Why have management people tour all our bases like lately just to discuss the implementation of something which is already in the current agreements like pay and T&C freezes?
These trips cost money and are absolutely pointless because the company would implement the pay freezes in any case.
These managers should stay home and save the company money while the pay freezes go ahead by themselves with no need to explain anything.
These trips cost money and are absolutely pointless because the company would implement the pay freezes in any case.
These managers should stay home and save the company money while the pay freezes go ahead by themselves with no need to explain anything.
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One of the issues under consideration is charging the equivalent of "corkage" on the food and drink you bring on board as we have to pay to have it removed: think of it as your contribution to the environment rather than a charge.
I'm firmly of the opinion that their cumulative dodgy practices will end in tears and/or twisted metal one day, and I don't want to be involved in it when it does.
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One of the issues under consideration is charging the equivalent of "corkage" on the food and drink you bring on board as we have to pay to have it removed: think of it as your contribution to the environment rather than a charge.
I know, I know people board MOL's airline on a voluntary basis, still haven't figured out why though
.