Funny Exchange over the Airwaves
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amberale, wasn't there an occasion when a female controller offered that to a BA flight to receive a reply something along the lines of:
"I love it when you talk dirty."
Possibly apocryphal.
"I love it when you talk dirty."
Possibly apocryphal.
This link is on a 'par' with at least two memorable exchanges I have heard during the course of 'FSO'-ing.
One was in the Pilbara when a certain pilot was describing the 'desolate, unpopulated' country he was dropping dog baits on in the early 70's, and he couldn't quite identify just the #@&%^*+&%# where he was at the time.....
He had a stuck mike button for 30mins - from one 'sked' to the next......and the exchanges with his crew lasted the whole 30mins...mmm...
On his next call to Hedland, he was very politely told that we new he was 'ops normal' and his approx position......mmm.... 'OH!#@' was the response...
And the other was the pilot to camera operator of a Duke climbing to FL's over Kal. for high level photos.....
and the '#@&*^+_*&% heater wouldn't work.....and his #@$%^ feet were getting *&^%$# frozen....mmm......and he had to come back....mmmm....
These were the most 'interesting'......
Then there's this one
RAW AUDIO: Pilot Tirade (Warning: Language) - Video - KPRC Houston
One was in the Pilbara when a certain pilot was describing the 'desolate, unpopulated' country he was dropping dog baits on in the early 70's, and he couldn't quite identify just the #@&%^*+&%# where he was at the time.....
He had a stuck mike button for 30mins - from one 'sked' to the next......and the exchanges with his crew lasted the whole 30mins...mmm...
On his next call to Hedland, he was very politely told that we new he was 'ops normal' and his approx position......mmm.... 'OH!#@' was the response...
And the other was the pilot to camera operator of a Duke climbing to FL's over Kal. for high level photos.....
and the '#@&*^+_*&% heater wouldn't work.....and his #@$%^ feet were getting *&^%$# frozen....mmm......and he had to come back....mmmm....
These were the most 'interesting'......
Then there's this one
RAW AUDIO: Pilot Tirade (Warning: Language) - Video - KPRC Houston
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One I was told went something like this:
Tower (to female pilot): XXXX would you like taxi way x or would you like the full length? (cue background laughter in tower, and probably every a/c on frequency)
Female pilot: XXXX full length please.
Tower: XXXX take the full length. Cleared for t/o
Female pilot complained and controller got suspended for 'unprofessional comments'
Tower (to female pilot): XXXX would you like taxi way x or would you like the full length? (cue background laughter in tower, and probably every a/c on frequency)
Female pilot: XXXX full length please.
Tower: XXXX take the full length. Cleared for t/o
Female pilot complained and controller got suspended for 'unprofessional comments'
Recently heard in the vicinity of a Nth Qld CTAF at night:
"Traffic (location) XYZ, 20 DME inbound estimate circuit at two-five" (female voice)
"Click-click-click". (XYZ trying to activate PAL on the CTAF)
No lights came on.
"Click-click-click".
Still no lights
"Click-click-click".
Still no lights
Low-pitched, husky voice male voice from another aircraft: "Ah XYZ, you gotta do it sloooooower babe....."
followed by "Click..........click........click" and the lights coming on.
Female from XYZ "mmmm thanks hon, was it good for you too?"
"Traffic (location) XYZ, 20 DME inbound estimate circuit at two-five" (female voice)
"Click-click-click". (XYZ trying to activate PAL on the CTAF)
No lights came on.
"Click-click-click".
Still no lights
"Click-click-click".
Still no lights
Low-pitched, husky voice male voice from another aircraft: "Ah XYZ, you gotta do it sloooooower babe....."
followed by "Click..........click........click" and the lights coming on.
Female from XYZ "mmmm thanks hon, was it good for you too?"
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When I was flying in NZ I heard a student call up woodbourne for a clearance into the zone on track to Omaka.
Twr: What is your position?
Student: ( with Asian accent ) I am over the Ferry at 2500'
Twr: I will need a better position report than that
Student: I am passing over the funnel nnnnnnnow....
Twr: What is your position?
Student: ( with Asian accent ) I am over the Ferry at 2500'
Twr: I will need a better position report than that
Student: I am passing over the funnel nnnnnnnow....
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These are two real ones from just the last week.
Chinese Heavy calls up on my frequency and is not mine.
"Chinese Heavy, Return to previous frequency"
" Chinese Heavy Roger, could you advise what it was"
Inbound Jet to Sy asks for an appreciation of the weather closer in. Aeropelican ( C/S Pelican ) 50nm North.
Pelican123 gives a report. Jet says " Howabout that a talking Pelican"
Hope the fun police don't find out.
Chinese Heavy calls up on my frequency and is not mine.
"Chinese Heavy, Return to previous frequency"
" Chinese Heavy Roger, could you advise what it was"
Inbound Jet to Sy asks for an appreciation of the weather closer in. Aeropelican ( C/S Pelican ) 50nm North.
Pelican123 gives a report. Jet says " Howabout that a talking Pelican"
Hope the fun police don't find out.
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Heard this from a student the other day...
Centre was trying to identify traffic when a first area solo student no where near the traffic in question piped up..
XXX: YY Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Centre
XXX: Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Go ahead
XXX: Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Are you lost?
XXX: No I am not lost XXX
Centre: XXX What is your position?
XXX: Centre XXX I don't know!
haha & to top it off..Centre: XXX What is your level? XXX: Straight and level
Centre was trying to identify traffic when a first area solo student no where near the traffic in question piped up..
XXX: YY Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Centre
XXX: Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Go ahead
XXX: Centre XXX
Centre: XXX Are you lost?
XXX: No I am not lost XXX
Centre: XXX What is your position?
XXX: Centre XXX I don't know!
haha & to top it off..Centre: XXX What is your level? XXX: Straight and level
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Here goes my 10 cents:
Glider: TWR, request crossing CTR
TWR: hold position and altitude
Glider: uhm, we're a glider
TWR: Ah, ok, cleared to cross CTR
And one for the oldies (surprised no one posted it already)
Not sure if it is authentic, but it's funny to me.
American airliner vacated runway at Frankfurt and holds on taxi way, pilots are looking for their gate.
FRA TWR: xxx, why are you stopping?
xxx: we can't find the gate
FRA TWR (irritated): it's not that difficult is it? Haven't you been here before?
xxx: well, yes I have, some 65 years ago, but I didn't stop here!
Similar typical EU joke:
German airspace, small aircraft starts transmitting in German
ATC: xxx, repeat your request in English
plane: why sjould I speaka Engelish? I am a Djerman in a Djerman plane in Djerman airspace; why sjould I speaka Engelish?
Voice over radio in perfect English: Because you lost the bloody war!
Glider: TWR, request crossing CTR
TWR: hold position and altitude
Glider: uhm, we're a glider
TWR: Ah, ok, cleared to cross CTR
And one for the oldies (surprised no one posted it already)
Not sure if it is authentic, but it's funny to me.
American airliner vacated runway at Frankfurt and holds on taxi way, pilots are looking for their gate.
FRA TWR: xxx, why are you stopping?
xxx: we can't find the gate
FRA TWR (irritated): it's not that difficult is it? Haven't you been here before?
xxx: well, yes I have, some 65 years ago, but I didn't stop here!
Similar typical EU joke:
German airspace, small aircraft starts transmitting in German
ATC: xxx, repeat your request in English
plane: why sjould I speaka Engelish? I am a Djerman in a Djerman plane in Djerman airspace; why sjould I speaka Engelish?
Voice over radio in perfect English: Because you lost the bloody war!
Not on the airwaves but legendry coord by a male approach controller to a female approach controller.
"I'm going to come hard right inside your Shorts"
Don't know what the reply was.
AA
"I'm going to come hard right inside your Shorts"
Don't know what the reply was.
AA
