Funny Exchange over the Airwaves

[Wally Mk2]

..............the quick & the dead (literally at times) xxx


Wmk2

[mustafagander]

Many moons ago. Early on a Sunday morning.

AAAnnn arriving BNE from the north for 01.

BNE "AAAnnn are you familiar with the Breakfast Creek Hotel?"

AAAnnn "Only from the inside."

BNE "OK, Steer xxx for vectors to final."

For those who remember him, the PNF and Capt was Wags.

[Gundog01]

On the ground at YMEN last year.

GND "XXX hold short rwy 17"

GND "XXX you hav entered RWY 17, take next exit on your right"

XXX "Next right exit" - heavy Asian tone

GND "XXX You have passed the exit take the next exit on your right, that is RWY 26"

XXX "Take next right RWY 26"

GND "XXX you have missed the RWY 26, continue Taxi to the end of the runway and turn right cross all runways and taxi ways, taxi to the school and call your instructor".

Absolutely pissed myself, pitty about the B200 going around RWY35 during all this.

GD

[Jack Ranga]

What did I do taxiing to the other holding points? Did all the checks I missed on the last flight taxiing to rwy 17 in a few seconds

Now that is gold Wal

[Jack Ranga]

I'm often amazed a how quickly some turbine drivers can get to the holding point. Was once right-hand seat in a 208. He was backtracking by the time I had my headset plugged in!

Triple, once you know what you are doing starting and shutting down a turbine, once you understand the metallurgy of of a turbine, they are simpler than a piston to manage engine wise. Leaves you a lot more time to manage the other stuff. In my opinion the most difficult to manage was the Cheiftain (turbo-charging and all that).

Ask any skydive flyer who's done a run in a turbo charged piston and a turbine what's easier to manage? Especially on the descent.

[Wally Mk2]

Yr right 'Jack' turbines especially the PT 6 are a simple beast to operate. As`long as the oil was warm enuf it's go go goAt times my biggest hold up was the Med team getting their seat belts organized prior to launching, full harness can go a lot of strange ways when yr rushed

'GD01' That's funny to the point where it might have been me having to go-around as there where a few times when the poor guys at EN twr couldn't get a word in (as in cleared to land) whilst an Asian student was blurting out exactly what he had been taught, no lateral thinking what so ever. With this in mind I used to keep one eye on a green light comin' from the guys lofty perch, BAK, always wondered whether that was a waste of study time

Wmk2

[UnderneathTheRadar]

My contribution

From my days at Moorabbin - for those who remember 'big bird' (aka warren sparrow) he's still around doing earth angel duties for Angelflight on a regular basis. The second one was only relayed to me so I can't be sure of it's veracity.

XXX: MB tower, XXX ready runway 17L.
MB Tower: XXX wrong frequency this is tower east - contact Moorabbin Tower on 118.1. Oh, and by the way, that's not a taxi-way - that's the perimeter road. You might want to check your prop for dings.

AND

Two students both on first solo - one on final, one approaching then going straight past the holding point onto the runway.

MB Tower: XXX, clear the runway ...(no response)..... XXX, clear the runway....(no response). YYY, go around.

YYY: YYY going around.

YYY continues the approach, XXX still sitting on the runway.

Tower: YYY, go around.
YYY: Going around

.....continues approach, XXX hasn't moved. Tower at this point is ready to push the crash button. YYY apparently lands short, weaves around XXX ('going around') then taxis off the runway and back to the school.

Apparently one of the few times they had to call two different schools over the same incident.

[Cessna 180]

Reminds me of one pleasant summers evening sitting at the Aero Club in Shep doing a bit of study when a Piper Warrior turned up.
A young chap of Asian appearance steps out and as he looked a bit lost I wondered over for a chat.

Was a bit hard to understand him, but he wasn't sure where he was and wanted to know which way Mangalore was and so I just pointed south and said that way. He was mighty keen to get going and so I pointed out that its probably 20 mins away at least and it was not far off dark.

By this stage I thought something was a bit odd and started probing for a bit more info and turned out he was on his first solo to the training area got horribly lost and had been in the air for about 3 hrs.

Managed to pursuade him to stay on the ground despite his protests that he would "be sent back to China" if any one found out.

Had a bit of a look around his plane to try and find a ph number for someone to ring. Was no info in plane but eventually got from him the name of the school and was able to track someone down.

Turned out they had been looking for him, calling on his radio (which he had turned down) and SAR were well and truly searching for him as well.

I felt pretty sorry for this young bloke and couldn't help but wonder if he was a victim of poor training and was not ready for a solo flight or if it was just a major stuff up that could have ended in disaster?

[JustJoinedToSearch]

That one about the 2 first solo students at YMMB is incredible.

Landing short and then weaving around another aircraft near the threshold
What that student lacks in airmanship/common sense/basic radio telephony they sure make up for in confidence. (I am reading that as touched down short and then weaved around the other aircraft at speed whilst decellerating, if it was landed and stopped short and then taxi'd around and off the runway that's not quite as impressive)

And I know it shouldn't as getting lost to/from the training area is pretty serious but the one about the Mangalore student had me in tears.

[PLovett]

You don't have to be a student to land and overtake another aircraft on a runway.

A large group of aircraft flew into Alice Springs one day. They were all members of an owners group. They swamped the poor guy in the tower, especially as several were flying in a loose gaggle with only very basic radio procedure.

However, the icing on the cake was when one aircraft landed (runway 12) and missed the first two exits. The following aircraft proceeded to land (long) and merely drove around the preceding aircraft. The guy in the tower went ballistic and strong words were said. Didn't help the guy in the tower though who was stood down while an inquiry into the whole mess was held.

[osmosis]

Rumor has in the not so distant past a certain Darwin based operator departed Alice Springs (in a C210? I can't remember) and not long after departure lost electrics. He elected to continue to Darwin with pax and nothing allegedly working 'cept the fan at the front. Upon approaching Darwin he contacted the tower on his mobile and, as far as I know, landed normally. His Melbourne-based CP was not amused though.

[AussieNick]

UTR: I've heard several variations on that "Go around" story so i'd take it with a grain of salt...


Then again, it is YMMB your talking about, so nothing would surprise me

Heard heading down to alice at a lonely 10,000ft, bored outta my skull.

Unknown A/C
"I'm !@#$ing bored"

Centre
"last aircraft to tranmit, state callsign"

A/C
"Sorry mate, I said i'm !@#$ing bored, not !@#$ing stupid"

Also on the return trip got an impromptu helicopter lesson from a nice chap who transmitted the whole 20min lesson in dribs and drabs on BN Centre

[Hot High Heavy]

Another snappy pun in Darwin today (seems to be the week for it!).

XXX was departing via VFR route 2 to Jabiru and talking to Approach;

XXX: Request direct tracking Jabiru given last light considerations.

App: XXX track direct Jabiru. Thanks for advising, we dont like being kept in the dark

Sound of laughter followed from someone

[The Green Goblin]

Originally Posted by AussieNick

Heard heading down to alice at a lonely 10,000ft, bored outta my skull.

Unknown A/C
"I'm !@#$ing bored"

Centre
"last aircraft to tranmit, state callsign"

A/C
"Sorry mate, I said i'm !@#$ing bored, not !@#$ing stupid"

I bet you tell stories out of the flight safety mag and pretend it's you too!

Variations of this story have been aviation in folklore since my grandfather flew Spitfires

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story hey I know you used to tell a few tall stories to the duty free girls at DIA. I often wondered if it got you anywhere

[AussieNick]

don't read the mags, gotta that one outta a book (hey, i still heard it in my head )

[The Green Goblin]

Don't worry, I know who you are

[puff]

Good one on Avweb the other day

ATC - N1234 are you a Cardinal(C177)

Pilot - Negative but I was an alter boy once.

[AussieNick]

thats creepy, you peaking in my window again GG

I'll be buggered if I know you though

[Hasherucf]

Pilot - Negative but I was an alter boy once.

I'll be buggered if I know you though

That is some bad thread drift

[Jack Ranga]

Didn't help the guy in the tower though who was stood down while an inquiry into the whole mess was held.

As an ATC you are guilty until found innocent and even then you are still guilty