Funny Exchange over the Airwaves
 

Despite being a little grumpy today at having to work on a nice public holiday whilst all my mates were nursing a hangover and a few more tinnies, I did crack a laugh over a funny exchange i heard over Darwin Tower this morning.

A chopper was requesting some circuit work and seemed extremely vague and confused to say the least. Lots of repeated requests from tower for read backs and re-read instructions etc and a heap of non standard calls etc. The guy had that real bush drawl going on.

Anyways on coming back onto the frequency i heard old mate in the chopper being given a departure clearance to Kunnas and not being read back again. 3 mins later, Tower come back on with "Kunnunurra is to the South West sir and you are currently tracking South East". A sheepish reply followed. Had to have a good chuckle. 10 points to the girl on tower too for her patience!

Were a serious bunch most of the time so it does liven the day up to hear things out of the ordinary! :eek: Anybody else heard some funny stuff around the lately?

yesterday:

Tower: xxx request max speed to the field

xxx: standby just engaging the hyperdrive

Aircraft: Tower we're picking up a paint on the screen about 3nm out with no altitude reported
Tower: Ahh yeah, that'd be the US Navy Destroyer..
Aircraft: But it has its transponder on??
Tower: Yeah, apparently it'll be on the entire time
Aircraft: That'd be right....

Yesterday also at Darwin :D

Just the other day at Moorabbin I heard a Warrior with 2 POB ready for departure at 17L for Mangalore I think, and when Tower told him to hold short he had to clarify what "hold short" meant! I couldn't believe my ears.

Years ago a certain flight line had two aircraft with sequential rego, lets call them BBA and BBB. A new PPL holder lodged a flt pln for a xcountry under BBA, took off in BBA and proceeded to make all calls quite normally and correctly; but as BBB. Tower probably recognised this was happening but didn't quite know how to acknowledge the calling a/c, BBA by the flight plan or BBB as it was being broadcast. In the end they had to ask,

"BBA, are you BBA or are you BBB?" No answer was the stern reply.

ATC: XXX, turn right heading 250
Me: Do you really want me to turn right into the side of that hill?
ATC (different voice): XXX, correction, turn left heading 110

Dr :8

I remember a good few years ago a Delta Airlines was behind a Jersey European Shorts 360 at the holding point in Manchester when you heard the following in a strong american drawl.

" I say boy, you build that thing yourself"

Had me laughing for a good few minutes.

FTDK,

Didn't happen in Townsville airspace by any chance?

Now why would you think that? :E

Many, many years ago a mate of mine was taxying a C172 for TO at the old Brisbane airport, when he found himself passing in front of a B727 at a holding point.

When he gave the 727 crew a friendly thumbs-up, a voice came over the radio, "I'll suck you right in, son " !

Dr :8

747 passes in front of a C5 Galaxy;

747:"What're you grossing today?"

C5:"About 100 tons more than you. What're you grossing?"

747:"About 100 grand a year more than you."

'makeithappencaptain'............that's gold !!!:D

Quite often the great guys/gals in EN twr would say to me when comin' into land "yr No 1"..............often I would say upon hearing that......."that's what My mum used to say":ok:They soon knew who it was behind the Mic:)

Miss you guys/gals in the twr, 125.1 & 121.5, some got that mucked up real good! Just wanna say tnxs for all yr help over the years flying in & out of EN:D



Wmk2

A couple of weeks ak after departing EN on a CTA departure in an arrow, solid cloudbase at 4500, we were maintaining 3500, planned 6500

ATC XXX climb to 6500

Student : (in his loudest most commanding voice he could muster) Negative negative, we cannot climb to 6500, we must remain at 3500.

ATC: Oh righto then , maintain 3500

Me: Er sorry bout that, I was teaching him to be assertive, but.....not that assertive.

ATC: Dunno what he said next, he was laughing too hard to be understood

Departing a regional CTAF on VFR flight into CTA, called CTR and gave departure report as usual, CTR came back " XXX squawk code 3361, clearance entre CTA on track dct XXXX climb FL140, only radar observed traffic in the area is 3.5nm south XXXX heading 180 passing 3500', intentions unknown, oh wait, . . . . thats you, . . . disregard traffic."
Laughter then heard from unknown station.

EN Tower
 

Yeh' Wally,, I'll second that,,, EN TWR guys are the best, like the ML centre crews stuck on their 'screens' too.:ok:

Twr: Keep it tight, ATR on 5 mile right base
XXX: Tight as a nun ma'am

Twr: Traffice for you, 172 heading south along the coast, maintaining 1500'
XXX: Roger the traffic
Traffic: Rather you didn't

at JT (grob, china southern student)

ATC; xxx follow the traffic turning downwind
xxx; is that the one to my 1 or the one at my 12 high
ATC: have a guess, 12 high is a qantas 747

had me laughing for a while

Wally you never did come and visit.

Nobody could be ready at the 17 holding point faster than you. I often wondered how you spent the time on the way to the other holding points.

All the best, looks like that era is over

CG

Its OK Chief Galah, I never visited Wally, despite promising to. But I did visit you a lot. :ok:

'Chief Galah' I know I never got there despite threatening too for many years:-) I did visit yr lofty perch back in the days where freedom reigned 1980 :) I guess the consul is still the same?:-)
I might still slip over & come for a visit one day, if I can manage those bloody stairs!:-)
It was always a pet thing of mine to see how fast I could get to the rwy 17 holding point, obviously it was fast if you mentioned it here. I know some of my colleges would take 4ever to get going, times money on those jobs:ok:After 10 yrs & 5000 hrs on the one type it wasn't hard to light the two fires & present ready within a couple of mins:-) What did I do taxiing to the other holding points? Did all the checks I missed on the last flight taxiing to rwy 17 in a few seconds:E:E
Thanks for launching us so fast too CG, trust me some of the Dr's on board thought what was the hold up even when the oil pressure gauges where still thinking about moving:E


................ahhh the good 'ole days...........sob sob sob:sad:

Wmk2

I'm often amazed a how quickly some turbine drivers can get to the holding point. Was once right-hand seat in a 208. He was backtracking by the time I had my headset plugged in!