Quite possibly one of the funniest things a passenger has ever said...

[quagmire]

Can't forget an episode whilst overtaking a light trainer shortly after departure. My passenger, observing the slower aircraft falling behind us rather quickly, turned to me and said "I didn't know planes could fly backwards".
Made it tough work talking to the tower after that I must say!

[Aye Ess]

While writing out tickets for joyflights,often...

Pax (nervous about the flight) ''We will come back won't we?''

Me ''Well,we haven't left anyone up there yet''

[gupta]

Have none of you ever been in a situation where you have no prior experience??

There are a couple of humourous posts, but most are really arrogant *anks from low time "superior beings"

And yes, I'll stand by this post and take any PM's

[Paul Alfred]

A Pax was getting annoyed because the prop was showing up in her digital photos....."Can you just turn that one off for a sec"

[Horatio Leafblower]

Lighten up, Guptar.

It's not as if we're naming anyone or holding a person up to public ridicule. If you can't handle this you must be great fun having a beer after work

[Snow white]

While writing out tickets for joyflights,often...

Pax (nervous about the flight) ''We will come back won't we?''

Me ''Well,we haven't left anyone up there yet''

I love when pax look at the plane and seriously ask "is this thing safe?"

(nah, I gets kicks outta doing aerobatics in a plane thats about to fall apart)

My fav is calling clear prop with foreigners on board and hearing them all repeat after me.

[josephfeatherweight]

Gupta, geez, relax... Easy fix, if you don't enjoy reading them, don't... (Though you've obviously slogged your way through all of them to decide that some meet your standards.)

Punter - "What sort of engine is that?"
Me - "It's a PT6 - basically a small jet engine driving a prop through a gear box".
Punter - "How many cylinders does it have?"
Me - "Eight, mate - just like your Commodore..."

Yes Gupta, I know some people are inexperienced, but it's still funny for those in the know - hence why these little anecdotes are posted on a PILOTS forum.
If the punters didn't exist, we wouldn't have a job, but we can still have a chuckle every now and then...

Joe Lighty

[Ixixly]

Hehehe, you can have all sorts of fun with spectators as well, specially with mums and dads sending their little darlings for their first skydive

Anxious Parent: "Oh, I hope she comes back safe"
Me: "Oh don't worry ma'am, skydiving has a perfect record..."
anxious parent looks slightly relieved
Me: "We've never left one up there"
Me smiling broadly pointing skywards with a now slightly alarmed parent
Me: "Oh, woops, they're waiting for me to go fly the darned thing, pardon me!"
Dash off to fly aircraft!!

[multi_engined]

After diverting a good 30 mile around a thunderstorm which had several strikes of lightening inside...

"Thanks for not flying through that"...

[Aerohooligan]

Made the mistake of telling my pax one day that it was my first flight for the year (just back from Xmas holidays).

Me: 'First flight today, so looking forward to getting airborne.' (bad choice of words I now realise)
Pax (cool as a cucumber): 'Oh boy, I sure am glad we get to be the guinea pigs on your maiden flight!'

The punters sometimes catch us out too, guys.

[Towering Q]

An old Police Air Wing buddy of mine had a good method for quietening down his often rowdy group of juvenile detainees, on the flight down to the detention center in the city...

In IMC he would yell out to them...."Hey guys, there's another plane in this cloud with us, can you all keep your eyes peeled and try to spot it so we don't crash into it?"

Guaranteed peace and quiet for the rest of the trip with all faces pressed up against the windows in total silence.

[Aye Ess]

Read recently about a Flying Doctor aircraft called out to a remote station to pick up a patient.

The station wife was at the homestead's airstrip awaiting arrival of the Queenair,and although the aircraft was in the area,the pilot couldn't locate the airstrip.

Pilot contacted the lady by radio & told her he couldn't locate the field & could she advise where she was.

She then replied over the radio ''We're over here...WE. ARE. OVER. HERE!!"

[flyinkiwi]

We were about to go on a scenic in a 206. The pilot was refueling from a hand pumped 40 gal drum, and would pump in some gas, dip the tanks, pause while he did some mental arithmetic, then pump some more in. After the 3rd pause my partner who was by now getting rather nervous blurted out, "for heavens sake, put some more in!" She realized how that must have sounded so she added, "I have money!" To his credit the pilot just smiled and said, "plenty in there for us." I on the other hand was in stitches.

[Lapun Tru]

Waiting for my single passenger to board a C206 in PNG in 1970, and loaded up to max with freight and baggage, I saw the passenger walking across the tarmac towards me, holding a polystyrene water bottle.

Me (joking): "Gee, MORE baggage? we're overloaded as it is!"

Passenger:"Oh, there's not much left in it - I can drink it if you like..."

Me: "OK, that would be great!"

I had to hide the grin on my face as she promptly upended the bottle and drank the remainder of the water.....

Fortunately, it was a short flight and a toilet stop wasn't required.....