The wierd and annoying habits of Pax!
So do you want to be a commercial pilot one day?
Do you want to fly the big ones?
These things fly themselves, that was a good autoland (C210)
Puck you pahlot, it's cause you White, you is racist, dis my country, you stole it from me. Eh pahlet dats my sky, you take me to my sky and I pay you next time. Puck you cant.
Do you want to fly the big ones?
These things fly themselves, that was a good autoland (C210)
Puck you pahlot, it's cause you White, you is racist, dis my country, you stole it from me. Eh pahlet dats my sky, you take me to my sky and I pay you next time. Puck you cant.
Worst one I have had is a passenger decided to give themselves a manicure and a pedicure on the last 30min RPT sector I was flying. When I went to give the floor a vacuum at the end of a long day, I had the joy to find a full set of toe nails and a full set of fingernail clippings on the floor of one of the seats!!
Charming......
Plus I have had most of the "up north" experiences. Including a bloke who decided that he couldn't hold the sneeze in long enough to turn AWAY from my face when I was giving a briefing in a 210. Quite possibly the most "yuck" experience I have ever had. Amazingly I didn't get sick in the weeks following!!
Charming......
Plus I have had most of the "up north" experiences. Including a bloke who decided that he couldn't hold the sneeze in long enough to turn AWAY from my face when I was giving a briefing in a 210. Quite possibly the most "yuck" experience I have ever had. Amazingly I didn't get sick in the weeks following!!
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Stepping on your seatbelt as they stretch their legs behind you.. of course tightening your seatbelt as it catches, making it so tight you think you've suddenly become a qaudraplegic...
a (pilot) passenger carrying a transceiver up the back decides to give me some mystery traffic in imc... was quite funny after i landed...
someone walking down the aisle pissing in a sick bag and then leaning it against the seat rail hoping it wouldnt tip over...
Dingo baiting always got extra bait.. one guy tried to spew in the bucket with the baits instead of down the tube only to try and tip the bucket out the open rear door... needless to say after 2 hours of flying it was fairly sunbaked and stuck well to the elevator and rudder...
passenger sitting at the rear door locked the seatbelt in the door and hiding very well i might add the fact that he had no seatbelt on... only to get airborne hear a strange noise returning to land to find a ring of no paint from the metal clasp slapping the fuselage...
Passenger refused entry to aircraft went quitely home grabbed a bush knife and returned to chase the pilot around the aircraft until help arrived...
Back when i was throwing bags... a "pilot" actually sticking the metro on autopilot walking back through the aircraft climbing over newspapers to the rear undoing the nets as he went.. does number 2's on the newspapers wipes his ass returns to cockpit only for us to open the cargo door to a fresh steamer...
a (pilot) passenger carrying a transceiver up the back decides to give me some mystery traffic in imc... was quite funny after i landed...
someone walking down the aisle pissing in a sick bag and then leaning it against the seat rail hoping it wouldnt tip over...
Dingo baiting always got extra bait.. one guy tried to spew in the bucket with the baits instead of down the tube only to try and tip the bucket out the open rear door... needless to say after 2 hours of flying it was fairly sunbaked and stuck well to the elevator and rudder...
passenger sitting at the rear door locked the seatbelt in the door and hiding very well i might add the fact that he had no seatbelt on... only to get airborne hear a strange noise returning to land to find a ring of no paint from the metal clasp slapping the fuselage...
Passenger refused entry to aircraft went quitely home grabbed a bush knife and returned to chase the pilot around the aircraft until help arrived...
Back when i was throwing bags... a "pilot" actually sticking the metro on autopilot walking back through the aircraft climbing over newspapers to the rear undoing the nets as he went.. does number 2's on the newspapers wipes his ass returns to cockpit only for us to open the cargo door to a fresh steamer...
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12-15 year old annoying little brat trying to do chin ups on the wing. Mum says "dear i dont think the nice pilot will appreciate that" You're god damn right lady!!!
Yeah the "so do you want to be a commercial pilot and fly for QANTAS one day?" never gets old
Yeah the "so do you want to be a commercial pilot and fly for QANTAS one day?" never gets old
Had a guy p##s in an drink esky before during a flight, all over the cans....then proceeded to drink them before spewing his guts up with 2 hours left to go.
A guy smuggled a small champers bottle on board...proposed to his missus then opened it causing me to s##t myself (well almost)
(funny one) scenic flight for a couple who were getting a divorce and were spending there last night together (he had done the dirty!!! apparently). Not exactly a pleasant trip.
Did a TIF many years ago with a muslim lady who was wearing full face cover. 40 degrees and middle of the day....spewed on short finals.
Thankfully only have to hear these stories as hear say from CA's on the trips.
A guy smuggled a small champers bottle on board...proposed to his missus then opened it causing me to s##t myself (well almost)
(funny one) scenic flight for a couple who were getting a divorce and were spending there last night together (he had done the dirty!!! apparently). Not exactly a pleasant trip.
Did a TIF many years ago with a muslim lady who was wearing full face cover. 40 degrees and middle of the day....spewed on short finals.
Thankfully only have to hear these stories as hear say from CA's on the trips.
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I reckon our PM would have to be the worst of the lot! Playing up like a second hand ute!
Seriously..... Who the hell does the nancy handed poonce think he is fooling?
Worker?.....my ar@e..... wouldn't know a screwdriver from a fake email.
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Seriously..... Who the hell does the nancy handed poonce think he is fooling?
Worker?.....my ar@e..... wouldn't know a screwdriver from a fake email.
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Speaking of Screwdrivers
Army General being driven back to camp by female driver. Vehicle suffers a flat tyre. Driver out endeavouring to remove the hub cap on the wheel with the flat tyre was having difficulty getting cap off. General looks out and sees she is struggling and asks "Would you like a screwdriver"? Driver replies, "Not until I get this bloody flat changed Sir".
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mmm
Originally Posted by Mr Hat
Threatening Cabin Crew or other passengers because they make 200k digging holes and didn't finish Yr 12 so effectively the law doesn't apply to them
But i know that all pilots aren't like that because some of them are good mates of mine, the same as all miners dont make 200k, are law abiding citizens and have completed year 12.
Sh!t, thats me!
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A question for the learned members of this forum...
I'm familiar with the entry requirements of the Mile High Club (and the 6.5 Metre Club
) but I'm still confused as to how a pax / paxes managed to get footprints on the ceiling of a 777 toilet. Despite the enthusiastic efforts of various LAMEs, cleaners and caterers no one could replicate the manouvre with the door shut. Any ideas?
Pax who covertly consume their own body weight in duty free vodka during the flight and then need to have a little spew/nap/coma on arrival. I'm sure they're even more fun in the air. Also, I've always been amazed at how much rubbish people can produce in a few hours. Some aircraft arrive looking like people have been living in them for a month.
I'm familiar with the entry requirements of the Mile High Club (and the 6.5 Metre Club
) but I'm still confused as to how a pax / paxes managed to get footprints on the ceiling of a 777 toilet. Despite the enthusiastic efforts of various LAMEs, cleaners and caterers no one could replicate the manouvre with the door shut. Any ideas?Pax who covertly consume their own body weight in duty free vodka during the flight and then need to have a little spew/nap/coma on arrival. I'm sure they're even more fun in the air. Also, I've always been amazed at how much rubbish people can produce in a few hours. Some aircraft arrive looking like people have been living in them for a month.
Last edited by Worrals in the wilds; 28th Jun 2009 at 19:42.
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A question for the learned members of this forum...
I'm familiar with the entry requirements of the Mile High Club (and the 6.5 Metre Club) but I'm still confused as to how a pax / paxes managed to get footprints on the ceiling of a 777 toilet. Despite the enthusiastic efforts of various LAMEs, cleaners and caterers no one could replicate the manouvre with the door shut. Any ideas?
I'm familiar with the entry requirements of the Mile High Club (and the 6.5 Metre Club
) but I'm still confused as to how a pax / paxes managed to get footprints on the ceiling of a 777 toilet. Despite the enthusiastic efforts of various LAMEs, cleaners and caterers no one could replicate the manouvre with the door shut. Any ideas?If you literally mean bare footprints, then I have no idea either unless they were imprinted using something other than actual feet.
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People grabbing your sick bags to wave to people in the below community despite the fact we are now passing 4000'. Once had my flight plan taken from my lap and used as a waving device. LOL
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Back when i was throwing bags... a "pilot" actually sticking the metro on autopilot walking back through the aircraft climbing over newspapers to the rear undoing the nets as he went.. does number 2's on the newspapers wipes his ass returns to cockpit only for us to open the cargo door to a fresh steamer...
but I'm still confused as to how a pax / paxes managed to get footprints on the ceiling
Rgards,
BH.
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Passengers, sans clothes, dressed in 'ass grass' and some tatty undergarment. When required to caugh up an airfare they dig into their groin, revealing pubic hair, and lick their fingers and count out some kina notes for you...! (PNG - no kidding)
I'd like to hear if there are any Virgin/Jetstart type pilots who still get the, "so do you want to be a commercial pilot/fly for Qantas one day?" It seems Qantas pilots are the only REAL commercial pilots in this country didn't you know?
The misunderstanding by some that you are "building your hours up" even when you are flying in a pinnacle job that required a pack of hours to get into...!
I'd like to hear if there are any Virgin/Jetstart type pilots who still get the, "so do you want to be a commercial pilot/fly for Qantas one day?" It seems Qantas pilots are the only REAL commercial pilots in this country didn't you know?
The misunderstanding by some that you are "building your hours up" even when you are flying in a pinnacle job that required a pack of hours to get into...!
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I was on a Rex flight and a lady boarded then started panicing becasue she left something in the terminal, one of the groundies escorted her back in the terminal and she collected her item ... it was a empty garbage bag, she brought with her to put on the seat she was sitting on, there were quite a few chuckles from her follow passengers!
Last edited by fritzandsauce; 29th Jun 2009 at 04:15. Reason: typo - my bad
People grabbing your sick bags to wave to people in the below community despite the fact we are now passing 4000'
Seasonally Adjusted
I remember some clown sitting behind me in a 310, on short final at night, leaning forward between the seats and taking a photo of the runway lights.
Nothing like a flash going off in the cabin to destroy your night vision and concentration.
Nothing like a flash going off in the cabin to destroy your night vision and concentration.
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I remember some clown sitting behind me in a 310, on short final at night, leaning forward between the seats and taking a photo of the runway lights.
Nothing like a flash going off in the cabin to destroy your night vision and concentration.
Nothing like a flash going off in the cabin to destroy your night vision and concentration.
Forgot about the obligatory camera flashes coming down final- its a dazzling way to end your flight thats for sure!!
A sharp scowling look behind you is usually enough to get the cameras all put away after that!
A sharp scowling look behind you is usually enough to get the cameras all put away after that!