The wierd and annoying habits of Pax!
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The wierd and annoying habits of Pax!
Seriously...what is it with some of them! It seems to me the moment they go near an aircraft their IQ takes a 50% dive...
From loudly chatting away to their mate whilst you're giving a safety brief, to covertly spewing (or worse!) into and seat-back pocket, (onto the clearly visible and waiting sick-bags...and then not mentioning anything at the other end!)
I'm sure everyones got a story...so share it, before I'm compelled to eject the next one overboard into shark/croc infested waters!
Freight work never looked so good...
From loudly chatting away to their mate whilst you're giving a safety brief, to covertly spewing (or worse!) into and seat-back pocket, (onto the clearly visible and waiting sick-bags...and then not mentioning anything at the other end!)
I'm sure everyones got a story...so share it, before I'm compelled to eject the next one overboard into shark/croc infested waters!
Freight work never looked so good...
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The business-traveller-in-window-seat "throw two newspapers over the lap of the passenger in the aisle seat into your seat while boarding, then grunt at the nearest flight attendant to collect your jacket without eye contact or a word of thanks" routine. Then push past the knees of the aisle passenger, and bury your head in the Financial Review during the safety demo because "I'm a seasoned flyer and observing the safety demo is beneath me as a corporate giant". Followed by "get up and start removing bags from the overhead locker with 30m of taxi still remaining before the gate, because that's how important I am, and I know the CSM won't ask me to sit down due to the magical "CL ONEWORLD EMERALD" printed on my boarding pass, which entitles me to god-like status and the right to ignore any instructions I so desire".
The worst I had was a guy who sat beside me in the front of a cessna doing a scenic.
For most of the flight he took his shoes off and proceeded to pick the skin of the soles of his feet and eat it...
For most of the flight he took his shoes off and proceeded to pick the skin of the soles of his feet and eat it...
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I had a Dr. once that was insistent on the front seat. As soon as we were airborne, he pulled out his broadsheet newspaper and opened it right up with the paper and his arm in my face!!!
He got a bit snippy when I politely enquired how he would feel about me doing the same to him in his operating theatre...
He got a bit snippy when I politely enquired how he would feel about me doing the same to him in his operating theatre...
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Another really annoying habit that pax will soon grow out of is paying for tickets to fly around the country on discretionary travel.
Most cabin crew will be relieved to know that they can soon avoid the great traveling unwashed as they will be forced to find employment somewhere else.
Most cabin crew will be relieved to know that they can soon avoid the great traveling unwashed as they will be forced to find employment somewhere else.
I swear I could write a book about the black fellas, some of it was so unreal you'd think it was not fair dinkum! mudslinging, poo jabbing, pant wetting, spitting, spewing, wanking, pissing, stabbing but to name a few.
My pet hate is still the PPL asking to view the weight and balance charts, asking why you're not plotting positions on the map and giving you sound advice on the best 1 in 60 to regain your track
mudslinging, poo jabbing, pant wetting, spitting, spewing, wanking, pissing, stabbing but to name a few.My pet hate is still the PPL asking to view the weight and balance charts, asking why you're not plotting positions on the map and giving you sound advice on the best 1 in 60 to regain your track
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oh yeah thats gotta be the best one a PPL or even better a RAA pilot giving a running comentary to the rest of the pax on everything your doing up front. I love how they usually feel compeled to let me know they are a pilot as well everytime!!
Thread Starter
Pet hate...Ten seats...all with seat belts neatly fastened and locked around front of seat. Four Pax get in...get to destination...and voila, as if by magic, all seat belts unbuckled, some wrapped around seat frame twenty times and in knots.
I swear, they must wait and as soon as my backs turned...get to work busier santas elves the night before christmas causing this mayhem cos it's quite ingenious how this occurs over a 30 minute leg.
And school charters out to remote regions...briefed/warned not to graffitie the inside of the aircraft...one Einstein in the making, (who's name I had on the manifest) decided to not only date, but also print their name next to where they were sitting in black marker.
When questioned on arrival why he'd done this after being expressly asked not to...with eyes wide, denied, all knowledge...again...Genius!
I swear, they must wait and as soon as my backs turned...get to work busier santas elves the night before christmas causing this mayhem cos it's quite ingenious how this occurs over a 30 minute leg.
And school charters out to remote regions...briefed/warned not to graffitie the inside of the aircraft...one Einstein in the making, (who's name I had on the manifest) decided to not only date, but also print their name next to where they were sitting in black marker.
When questioned on arrival why he'd done this after being expressly asked not to...with eyes wide, denied, all knowledge...again...Genius!
Yeah love the secret spewers. My record is 6 in a caravan, and some of those were the island workers, was like a chain reaction thoughm
Had a PPL once who asked me if he could sit up the front, luckily I managed to hit the isolate button before he clued on. He did also ask to see my w+b, I replied that when he gets his CPL and that little CASA FOI badge, then he could be the protector of the galaxy, not before. Surprisingly, he got quite miffed.
My personal favourite however was the guy who arrived t checkin late and started to abuse the person doing checkin as they wouldn't let him on with 15 extra kilos of baggage. Started to get threatening, that changed when he found out that the checkin guy was also the pilot that day, and he just got bumped for being a danger to the flight. Awwww, too bad.
j3
Had a PPL once who asked me if he could sit up the front, luckily I managed to hit the isolate button before he clued on. He did also ask to see my w+b, I replied that when he gets his CPL and that little CASA FOI badge, then he could be the protector of the galaxy, not before. Surprisingly, he got quite miffed.
My personal favourite however was the guy who arrived t checkin late and started to abuse the person doing checkin as they wouldn't let him on with 15 extra kilos of baggage. Started to get threatening, that changed when he found out that the checkin guy was also the pilot that day, and he just got bumped for being a danger to the flight. Awwww, too bad.
j3
Pax who when exiting aircraft leave massive amounts of rubbish over the seats and floor. Scrunched up paper used to plug ears and those ear cleaning things!? Remove the sick bags, spit in them, through them all over the ground. Spit on the windows!?
Going to the bathroom in their seat is always a favourite.
Pax who have gone fishing/rolled in dead fish before boarding aircraft. There is nothing like the smell of rotten fish and BO in a C210!
Front right seat pax who decides to move seat all the forward making it awkward to adjust engine controls and cowl flaps. (any remote pilot will understand)
Gotta love remote life!
As said above the expert PPL holders are always good for a laugh.
And what is with remote teachers thinking they are God!?
Going to the bathroom in their seat is always a favourite.
Pax who have gone fishing/rolled in dead fish before boarding aircraft. There is nothing like the smell of rotten fish and BO in a C210!
Front right seat pax who decides to move seat all the forward making it awkward to adjust engine controls and cowl flaps. (any remote pilot will understand)
Gotta love remote life!
As said above the expert PPL holders are always good for a laugh.
And what is with remote teachers thinking they are God!?
secret spewer
I had a pax once demanding to sit next to me up front. He was a bikie, 6 feet 4 inches weighing 130 kilos and tough as hell. I did not mind until he decided to discard all his breakfast over the instrument panel and my right arm on short final. O.K......i was cool. Then he was the first one to jump and run to the exit after i parked virtually kicking the door open before i could stop him.
He dropped it on the cables bending the entire door.
That did it.....
I made him mop up his mess in front of his amused mates but i had to pay for the cabin door repair
He dropped it on the cables bending the entire door.
That did it.....
I made him mop up his mess in front of his amused mates but i had to pay for the cabin door repair
Anyone who has flown up north has probably had the same fun experiences as me. Let me share a few for your amusement.
PAX who grind their teeth whilst sitting in the right seat! OMG it makes me wish the X11's weren't so quite! I don't know why but it just kills me.
I had a lady pick nits out of her hair, and then squash them on my freshly cleaned window for the whole flight! Charming.
After spending all morning sweating your A off cleaning your a/c inside and out then to have some jerk decide that your clean windows would make the perfect canvas for his ear wax art!!! Delightful.
Arriving at your destination with a three day old rotting corpse. The stench was so bad that I had to taxi with my head out the window! Where the F are the folks who are supposed to pick it up? Who knows!! 2 hours later someone decides that they can now be bothered to come and pick it up! Fun.
Anyway rant over. The majority of PAX are well informed, courteous...sorry no seriously the rant is now over.
Cheers,
Greaser.
PAX who grind their teeth whilst sitting in the right seat! OMG it makes me wish the X11's weren't so quite! I don't know why but it just kills me.
I had a lady pick nits out of her hair, and then squash them on my freshly cleaned window for the whole flight! Charming.
After spending all morning sweating your A off cleaning your a/c inside and out then to have some jerk decide that your clean windows would make the perfect canvas for his ear wax art!!! Delightful.
Arriving at your destination with a three day old rotting corpse. The stench was so bad that I had to taxi with my head out the window! Where the F are the folks who are supposed to pick it up? Who knows!! 2 hours later someone decides that they can now be bothered to come and pick it up! Fun.
Anyway rant over. The majority of PAX are well informed, courteous...sorry no seriously the rant is now over.
Cheers,
Greaser.
Thread Starter
People, (but generally young adolescent girls), screaming like stuck pigs at the least little bump...particularly on short final at the end of a 15 sector day...
And the ear plug thing...no matter how bluntly i put it, like 'the ear plugs are complementary....PLEASE feel free to take them with you', i always will find them stuffed down the seat backs...along with chewed gum, nut husks, nappies etc.
I did nearly get my revenge a while ago however. As i handed out ear plugs, i told the assembled pax to 'take one now with water and you'll loose your hearing for about 45 minutes...if your hearing comes back before we reach our destination, just take the other'...I said this dead- pan, straight faced. There was a slight pregnant pause before one of them asked me if I had some water she could take with her ear plug...it was tempting...
And the ear plug thing...no matter how bluntly i put it, like 'the ear plugs are complementary....PLEASE feel free to take them with you', i always will find them stuffed down the seat backs...along with chewed gum, nut husks, nappies etc.
I did nearly get my revenge a while ago however. As i handed out ear plugs, i told the assembled pax to 'take one now with water and you'll loose your hearing for about 45 minutes...if your hearing comes back before we reach our destination, just take the other'...I said this dead- pan, straight faced. There was a slight pregnant pause before one of them asked me if I had some water she could take with her ear plug...it was tempting...