Hoskins couldn't understand why his boss sent him for parachute training, as he was travelling as pax.

Unfortunately, the Aircrew Parachute Course that involved jumping from a Hercules into Poole Harbour had been cancelled on cost grounds. Hoskins couldn't understand the reasoning because the savings were just a drop in the ocean.

AD 1978 caption, BBC Head of Light Entertainment to the DG: "I'm not really sure who is on Top of the Pops this week, I believe these are Pansy People or The Village Idiots or some such silly name..."

Jesus have you seen the woodworm, it's a death trap I tell you. Condem the structure. ....
Don't you know there's a War on. Do you think the Jerry's will use soft rubber swimming aids as you land?

Bert, the clocks striking 3, that's your signal to come out.


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Pike......Captain Mainwaring, I can see the German Invasion Fleet.....
Captain......Stupid boy we're 60 miles inland
Fraser.....Why is it called Walmington-on-sea then?
Sgt Wilson....Very high tide sir?

"Don't deploy your chute until you're 10 feet off the ground Paddy."
"Bejeezus, and what if the thing doesn't work?"
"You can jump 10 feet can't you?"
"I, that I can, let's be going then"

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....0db3302864.jpg

Agents deploying to Eastern Europe receive anti-defenestration training.

Don't worry, look, they've turned the sound down so no one will hear your screams.

After the black queen ran off with a white knight, and a bishop was caught in flagrante with a pawn, the Potentate tired of chess and set up a cuckold clock.

Why exactly do I need a reserve 'chute?
Well of your main does not open you pull the reserve
Jesus is gravity not so strong in Aldershot?

Chu Chu shows how his mind really works, unless it's a predictive text error.

Well, they don't look much birds . . .

I tawt I taw a puddy ta......🐱..

Are you sure that this thing is the same height as Salisbury Cathedral?

It was later discovered the instructor had entered the wrong weight in the spring mechanism.
Has anyone got a long ladder?

Judging this time tomorrow.

Well it looked bigger on 'flea'bay

Was expecting a bit more space in the Yurt. Should have read the small print.