It's safer by train

Please don't get me out for another 2 hours, I need a couple more for the 1000 hrs in the log book

Ryanair policy of one in the cockpit had a flaw when the Pilot needed to use the toilet

Chap with artifical leg finds it easy to win the 3 legged race when he gets carried by Gp Cap Bolt

"There, it should now fit on the carriers lift"

"There's one thing you mustn't do in the aviation business, and that's to break the bottom line. You've just done it; you're fired."

The investigation discovered that a passenger had smuggled 7 kg of cabin baggage on board when the allowance is only 6 kg.

"I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok..I work all ....."

"You're not yet your majesty"

Very Senior Officer: "I see what the problem is here - those wheels at the front are stopping the machine from lying flat on the ground. Get rid of them and Bob's your uncle."

We're calling it the Windsor but the RFC don't want it, so we'll export it to Canada.

Don't let them take you to the Navy Hospital in Portsmouth. They rushed me there with a ingrowing toe nail and they took off my leg

​

After the War, if you plan on starting an airline, don’t call it flybe.

Congratulations Sir, sure there is a medal for bravery for this, now the Daily Mail wonders why you dumped fuel over the School

Kiltrash, that was quick...and clever!

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....3f2e542d62.jpg

It's a nice bit of tail you have there Sir

Next time sir please can you wreck the tail then we can cut a shunt and good plane from 2 bad uns

Having progressed from a tail wheel to nose gear undercarriage Hoskins needs to fly a different landing profile

"What do you mean, I lose credit for shooting down one enemy plane every time I crash my own?"

Normally we make every effort to save the Pilots life Hoskins, however the air Force has decided to bring in the horse doctor from Aintree.as you are not worth the effort. Screens please ...

“I called for the JEngO, not Jenga!!!”