Some of the faves from Annual Reports...

Leadership - "People follow him out of curiosity"
Personal qualities - "This man goes through life pushing on Pull doors"

Co-pilot: I don't understand why everyone calls me Wedge...
Nav: It's the simplest tool known to man ..

My boss in 1985, an RN Commander, on the phone to a hapless Lt. "Stand to attention, I'm about to give you a career brief on your brief career".

He paid attention and made Admiral.

Some other annual report classics:

I would hesitate to breed from this officer.

Flt LT XXX uses her Majesty's aircraft to transport his genitals from one sexual liaison to the next.

His career in the Royal Air Force is depriving a village of it's idiot.

And..
He would be out of his depth sitting in a car parked in a puddle.

Yet another assessment was "I have seen this officer sober".

on the newbie put-downs:

When he joined there wasn't a Channel Patrol: we were still joined to the continent
When he joined, the RAF was painted blue, not wearing it

and of course:

The Navy has traditions, the RAF just have bad habits.

C******o - he couldn't find his arse with both hands anda map.

Said by my boss at the time about one of my juniors.

An old Flight Engineer's saying "Never mind the Hun in the sun, it's the c**t in the front that'll kill you."

Pilot to navigator in crew room - "What's the definition of gross stupidity?"
Nav - "Don't know."
Pilot - "144 navigators."
Nav - "Why 144?"

We don't have Wheels on our Squadron, we have Castors; one push to get them moving and they all go in different directions......

If I wanted your opinion I'd give you a crayon.

What's the difference between a flight engineer and a stagecoach driver?

The flight engineer only has to sit behind two horse's arses.

There is only one person on this unit that drinks more than this officer...his wife!

If this man had a brain he would be dangerous!

If this man had another brain it would be lonely!

Thrombo...a slow moving clot

3P

The definition of an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than his doctor.

Genuine - and I guess one-off - "newbie putdown" I heard in SOAF from an old-and-bold ex-RCAF, ex-RAF and then SOAF guy:

"I've been in more Air Forces than you've been on Squadrons!"

An another one really from a 1369 (not sure about some of the well-known if apochryphal ones earlier):

"This officer will never set the World on fire, but will be the first to help you put it out when someone else does!"

If you want a rigger for a neighbour, vote labour.

How can anyone be so stupid with only one head

I was in the RAF when the Dead Sea was reporting sick

As much use as a handbrake on a canoe

Comment by a Rhodesian chopper pilot in SOAF after his conversion flight in a Bell 212.

" Christ, it goes up like a fart in a bath!".

He's as thick as a whale omelette.

Things you don't want to hear during a prostate examination.

"Look mum, no hands."