When Mr and Mrs Stinking-Rich have a fall out over the toilet seat they can avoid each other very easy

We can't get it in, Boris is hiding up the back.

Don't worry it will go in easy and it won't hurt.

I promise, there's no need to use a condom, I've had a gasectomy.

No time in small boats is ever wasted!

Of course one advantage of flying without wings is no engine pod strike on go-around.

To the rest of the world this is a weather balloon, to us it's a spy plane

Apparently one of its designers is a well-known novelist.

Really? Nevil Shute?

No, Barbara Cartland...

It's Friday 13th! Time for some results - and I am not talking about our election, or the future of Europe, or such trivia. No - our caption competition is far more important.

Nutloose, I thought, produced a number of witty captions, any one of which deserved to win, but on this occasion topicality wins the day for Kiltrash with his offering of:
So, over to you, Air Commode K, and then you can let your keyboard have a chance to cool down.

I thank you and I was about to submit
Tannoy from the Shed. Come on Boris now is the time you need to full fill your election promises
or
What the Germans originally built the Eider Dam for. An Un sink able Aircraft Carrier. Ah thought Barnes Wallis a challenge
or
I do believe it is drying up my dear

Using free WiFi so will post a picture when I get home in about a hour

thanks again Kiltrash

Well done that man!

Decisions decisions however at this time you year, and after the UK Election we need peace and Goodwill to all

so please have a go at this one. perhaps our two most popular celebrities
Sorry picture failed to attach to wait one...

Hopefully this time

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....6b5690c738.jpg

Trump: "Congratulations, Boris!"

Kim: "I always have officers writing down everything I say. Then I have them shot and their notes burned. That way nobody can think I'm mentally deficient."

Trump: "I use Twitter to prove my intellectual and perceptive abilities."

So, to be clear, you can line up a meeting with Dennis Rodman for me, right?

Either president: "To symbolise the lasting friendship between our two great countries, we have both decided to make our wives disguise themselves as trees."

Well.. we're both too fat for a reach around so...

Either President: "Our two great countries have many things in common. For instance, we two presidents both fly in clapped-out four-engine jets."

I got a Horse last Christmas.
I'm getting a Peach...I think that's what they said.