Trump: "I hereby name this place....Ground Zero!"

Trump: "On this great day for democracy in the People's Republic of North Korea, I would like to build a golf course or two and a luxury resort. There'll be something in it for you, naturally."

Trump: "You know, this occasion would have been extra special if we'd had a march-past of a battalion of your women soldiers in their short skirts."

Your looking good.......... Snap

You've lost some weight.... Snap

Joe Biden son is dodgy as F***....... Snap

Wow, we agree on so much.

... and this year's Turner Prize is awarded to the biggest waste of space in human history.

"Say, that green stuff in the background... are you some kind of friend of the Greta child?"

(Trump): "Are you expecting a change in Korea?"
(Kim): "No, but Congress about to give you change in career!"

"I got everything from my Daddy. Keep family members on the payroll & ruthlessly remove anyone who gets in my way. I use compliant media to manipulate the people & get away with blatant lies. All in all, life's good. But, enough about me, how do you maintain control Mr. Kim?"

Photographer struggles after Fat Wun lets one rip.

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....6b5690c738.jpg

Trump takes precautions to ensure even Adam Schiff cannot twist what was said in his conversation with the other fat wun!

"You want a very advantageous trade deal with the UK? It's terribly simple. You demand whatever you want, and in return you offer them to get it signed off within a week."

"I'm giving you a bucket of instant sunshine for Christmas."

"And I'm giving you the same."

"Or shall we just call it quits for this year?"

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS."

And to all our captioneers.

Trump: "Look, I've got a small favour to ask... You don't do Intellectual Property Rights here, do you, so I want you to found a magazine called Time and make me its person of the year."

Kim: "Great idea and I agree to it - but as long as I'm alive there can only be one person of the year in my country. And of the two of us, it's not you."

Thank your Amercian Blind Institute for sending all those Guide Dogs to us. Lunch was excellent.

Can you come to United States and stand as a Democratic Candidate, your policies will fit it very well with their base.

T: "How about I let you beat me at golf and you get the 737max flying in China?"

K: "Mr Trump, this is not China."

T: "How about I let you beat me at golf and you get the 737max flying in China?"

K (thinks very quickly): "Now you mention it, I'd like to place an order for 100 of them. Any obstacle to getting that many delivered by the end of the week?"

Last orders please. Said Mike the Landlord of The Nags Head

The poll is now closed, please do not enter if you are watching +1 or on Demand...

While I am off to have a look at the entries here are what would have been my offerings for your enjoyment

Clearly photoshopped, everyone knows Kim is 7 ft 12inches tall

The strictly come dancing same sex couple get in some practice, You lead.,,,,No YOU lead

Trump, Last Thanksgiving I pardoned a Turkey
Kim, Last week I pardoned my favourite General, but I shot his 4 wives. Saved a lot on Alimony

As he is not here can we slag off Putin?

Psst wanna buy a second hand motor? I am selling the Beast . Kept me safe the past 3 years,

LFO. So that's agreed we offer the DOY asylum from HMTQ, you get the IMF to extradite him so the FBI can question him
POTUS...WTF stop talking in slitty eyed code