Initiative test:

Candidates are to be given 20 pieces of wood and 20 metal tubes, along with two cushions and some string, and they have to cross the lake using some or all of the materials provided without getting wet.

(Man in Front) "Ho Lee Fuk! Zamboni machine drop through ice faster than our lockets into Sea of Japan!"

"FACE ME," shouts the sergeant-major, lest the recruits notice someone simply walking across.

No Mr Bond, We do not have any ice for your Martini
or
The North Korean Skating Champion escapes the border guards …. by cunningly walking behind them
or
The disabled Ice Hockey team gets in some practice

Before I farted I was driving a Reliant Robin!

....and in the summer we put wheels on them and compete in the Red Bull Soapbox challenge

Thaw them shoe shine boys out we need some buffing

The only time you are allowed to leave skid marks in front of Glorious Leader.

Chinese troops express disappointment when they find out that the only thing the USA exports there is about to be banned.

If only Carlsberg did sledges

Outside the Winter Palace the guards are given new squad cars

The 2 man bob fell apart when the nut came loose

"We are training to become the Bob Sleighing team".

"Who is Bob and why does the Glorious Leader want him dead?"

Lemy Jurienne's crack stunt team rehearse another no expenses spared, action-packed sequence following the DPRK Film Studios acquisition of the Bond franchise...

glorious leader: "Off with his head! I need officers with notebooks and pencils in their hands, nothing else."

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....0f047b9e8d.jpg

And this is the VIP version, with fitted red carpet.

I don't think this Imperialist 'Pole Dancing' will catch on
or
Sit down Nordic Walking for the impaired
or
Right, good Red six and seven that's the synchro pair sorted now bring in the other five for the full display

"Glorious leader, it is designed for female soldiers with their famous short skirts!"

Jacob Rees-Mogg shows his respect for the Glorious Leader.

"Jesus Christ, Get me the name of that man walking across the lake".
"But Sir !. It is Jesus Christ. He walks across the lake all year round."