How to get your horse on an aircraft.

Stewardess: "You can't bring that on here".

Man: "I'm bringing my guide dog on board - I was told that it was all right".

Stewardess: "That's not a guide dog".

Man: "Really? It feels like a guide dog to me".

Despite purchasing speedy boarding to get the overhead bin space . The plan was spoilt as they were bussed to the aircraft

What you do on a Sunday is your own business.... :ooh:

"Your gonna need a bigger poo bag "

"I'm cutting down on my carbon footprint...it doesn't use much fuel but the emissions are terrible!"

Having retired from FedEx Captain and Mrs Hoskins redevelop their lounge to remind them of their last employment. Flying Donkeys round the world

When Ernie Mudguts asked how he could get more legroom, he was told he would have to "pony up".

Security officer in the crew restroom at London Stansted. " You will never guess what came through my scanner belt today".

It has to go as hand baggage - whoever heard of a horse going round on a carousel?

"No, I said we had to fly *to* Shetland!"

"Well, he did say that good pilots are as rare as rocking horse poo..."

It's a ****land pony.

Shetland.

Nope, have you seen what he left in the aisle?

Hoskins never again negotiated an EBA after he conceeded that the catering trolleys were hard to push for the cabin crew...

Economy. The Ass end of the aircraft

I asked for the Fish, not the Burrito.

What goes on tour stays on tour

Captain was called from the cockpit to help the CC with a difficult passenger was not prepared for what happened next

Well the roses will appreciate what I brought back from holiday

Horse: "Book the row behind the bulkhead they said. There's lots more room they said."

Passenger brought Lunch for all.