The airfield bird scaring unit is trying out a new approach.

"I always thought that Guide dogs were German Shepherds and Labradors".


"You mean that this isn't?"

"...and why do you think that you are suitable for an exchange tour on the F-14?"

"Last time I saw the words Parade and Pussy together it didn't look like that!"

Police Dog Handler Cpl Klinger tried a novel approach to get a medical discharge due to psychological grounds.

This was not what the CO expected following Pvt Smith's request to grow whiskers.

"No Sir..the dogs are his lunch"

The Committee investigating Fat Cats in the military found the main culprit.

"He is our emergency response Cat, we fly him in to any major Catastrophes"

"Whoooo step back, he has a mean Cat nip"

"He is a razor sharp Japanese fighting cat, they're called Katanas"

The medical unit had nailed the cat scans, but work was needed for the lab tests...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/b...ps2sgza1jh.jpg

(From a newspaper)

Another Success for Government Spending Cuts

Scientists at Porton Down have successfully reduced the size of the British Soldier and his dog, bringing an impressive saving of 19% in the cost of uniforms, and an outstanding saving of 47.361% in the cost of rations. An Army spokesman said, "Saving money is what life in the Army is all about today. We are delighted to be supporting the Government in its key policies." The Head of Porton Down, who cannot be named for security reasons, admitted that trials on military cats had been less successful. It's understood that the establishment will be seeking a further grant of £238 million to continue its search for a technique to shrink cats.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is believed to be minded to make the grant. In a statement he said that this is typical of the way that spending cuts save money, something that the Opposition should take note of.

(See also last week's story about a new fleet of mini-F16s for the RAF)

Volunteers for the Soviet Union's Tennis recruitment initiative. Unfortunately, Mr. Tinkles didn't quite realise what he was getting himself into...

The KGB rat catcher was evidently a success judging from his appearance

"Its an undercover police dog".

Has anyone seen Mrs Slocombe's pussy?................

British use cat as horizon sensor. This for Antonov.

"I can see his value as a Police cat - but how does he immobilise a suspect ?"

"He sits on them"