Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > Aircrew Forums > Military Aviation
Reload this Page >

Instructors - any favourite "bon mots" ?

Military Aviation A forum for the professionals who fly military hardware. Also for the backroom boys and girls who support the flying and maintain the equipment, and without whom nothing would ever leave the ground. All armies, navies and air forces of the world equally welcome here.

Instructors - any favourite "bon mots" ?

Old 31st Aug 2017, 09:50
  #21 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: On the ORP
Posts: 88
Look, I can do it, the aircraft can do it, why can't you do it?
2 TWU is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 10:56
  #22 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Eastbourne
Age: 81
Posts: 55
Arab Cunning

It took us a long time to get a Prince solo. Afterwards: "Well R***d we finally made it". "Thank you sir; it would take you twice as long to solo on my camel!"
Four Turbo is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 11:36
  #23 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: AndyCappLand
Age: 98
Posts: 7,646
Good advice from drawling South Carolinan to get me to relax:

"Wiggle your piggies, son !"

Thanks, Bob Greer. - I'd never have made it but for you, if there's a bar on the Other Side, I owe you one.
Danny42C is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 12:12
  #24 (permalink)  
622
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Hants
Age: 51
Posts: 696
"Can you see the airfield down on your left Bloggs"...pause..."No, the other Left Bloggs"
622 is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 13:33
  #25 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
Saudi trainee pilot making a mess of short finals, lets go of the controls and wails 'all is in the hands Allah'. Voice from the back mutters ' no it's not, it's f***ng well in mine!
goudie is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 13:42
  #26 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 4,638
That's not the same prince who, having spread an aeroplane all over the airfield, was found sitting in the Ante Room denying that he was anywhere near it?
Fareastdriver is online now  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 14:20
  #27 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South East of Penge
Age: 70
Posts: 1,391
F.E.D. That incident happened on Provosts IIRC. ( N.B not J.P.s)
Around that time another middle-eastern country, which will be nameless, had pilots attending more advanced training during which an instructor was overheard advising a student that on first seeing enemy fighters it was a good idea to "fly straight and level for a bit" until he was sure of what was going on.
Taken aside quietly he then explained:

" Think about it. It's highly likely we will up against these b*ggers in a couple of years time"........
Haraka is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 14:43
  #28 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
FED Happened at Little Rissington, I believe and might well have been the same student
goudie is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 14:49
  #29 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: front seat, facing forwards
Posts: 1,029
Originally Posted by goudie View Post
FED Happened at Little Rissington, I believe and might well have been the same student
And at Fenton.


Sounds like one of those apocryphal tales.
just another jocky is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 15:19
  #30 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: On the ORP
Posts: 88
Trying to instill smoothness into instrument flying.

'Always imagine you have the Queen Mum down the back and you don't want to spill her G and T'
2 TWU is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 15:49
  #31 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Age: 60
Posts: 5,363
From when I was a student:

There'd been some hard landings over the previous two months in our training squadron. A few birds were sent to the depot to get unbent / skin patched. At the quarterly safety stand down, one of the students stood up and asked "What can we do to prevent these hard landings?"
From the back my night flying instructor (I recognized his voice) drawled out ...
"Flare!"
The room broke up, and even the XO was stifling the laughter.


One from my IP days:
Me to student: "Pulling the nose up on short final won't make you go higher, nor get back on profile. It will make you go slower and fall faster. When low, lead with power."
Student to me: "Won't that make me go faster?"
Me to student: "We'll live longer dealing with having more airspeed than with having too little."
Student: "But I've been having trouble with floating."
Me: "No approach is too bad, nor too good, to wave off. When you make a decision to wave off, it is not counted against you. I count it in your favor that you used your head, and we get to try again."
Student: "Oh, I thought a wave off meant I failed the landing."
My jaw about drops. (Where the hell did he hear that?)
Me: "You fail the landing if you hit the ground wrong, or you stall and we crash."
I pause.
"Let's go and do some high work, and we'll come back to the landing pattern in a bit."
We left the pattern.
-------------------------------------------------
I asked around the other IPs for the next few days trying to find out where he would have heard that about failing the landing, and which IP was putting that word out? Had a long talk with the Standardization Officer. I was both puzzled and worried.
Nobody was teaching this. Apparently, this was one of those rumors running around among some of the students, who were always trying to figure out how to get the best scores on each flight .... yikes! Memo went out from the Standardization Officer to all flight leaders to do a bit of rumor control.
Lonewolf_50 is online now  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 16:43
  #32 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: uk
Posts: 517
Duty instructor (DI) at Linton, must have been 1975, sitting in the tower reading the porn, when an R/T call on tower says;

‘C33 (odd number call sign so a student) Calling DI stud 8 for flame out!’

I immediately inform the ATC assistant to call the powers that be, and pick up the headset.

‘Where are you C33, what is your position?’

‘C33 is taxing in. The engine went out doing aeros 20 mins ago. I did the standard relight and it started so I finished my sortie. What I want to know sir, is should I put the aeroplane U/S?’

At this point the Station Master and the C/I are just arriving at the tower ……
staircase is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 17:01
  #33 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: EGOS Field 24
Posts: 1,025
Instructor to colleagues in crew-room after trip and about to write report: "How do you spell congenital?"
ACW599 is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 17:03
  #34 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Berkshire, UK
Posts: 178
There's not much new. I heard about the foreign student, on a previous Chivenor course, who was discovered in the OM ante room after he left his aircraft at the end of the runway, in 1960.

On my course, my air to air gunnery instructor told me that the secret to good pipper control was to hold the stick "like you held your c*ck". My final OCU air to air assessment was "above average". Didn't repeat it on the squadron, though.
Wwyvern is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 17:14
  #35 (permalink)  

"Mildly" Eccentric Stardriver
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: England
Age: 72
Posts: 2,961
ACW599 wrote:

Instructor to colleagues in crew-room after trip and about to write report: "How do you spell congenital?"
Similar: "How many "b"s sin abysmal?" or "How many "t"s in atrocious?"
Herod is online now  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 17:44
  #36 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Herefordshire
Posts: 1,001
Herc' co-pilot training sortie at Fairford - instructor in LH seat is USAF exchange officer Major J J Smith ( RIP, sadly ).

J J is making notes as our hero in the RH seat flies downwind - co-pilot looks across at JJ with a worried look on his face.

" Don't worry G ****, I'm just writing a letter to my mother " says J J.

" Phew " says G.

" Dear Mother, what a dumb shit of a co-pilot I'm flying with ".

Even G managed to wet himself!
Brian 48nav is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 17:53
  #37 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: England
Posts: 93
Written in a student's report after a circuit trip: "Bloggs is so far behind the aircraft; if it were to crash he would be totally unharmed"
Stanley Eevil is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 17:54
  #38 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: AndyCappLand
Age: 98
Posts: 7,646
"It ain't necessarily so"........

Lonewolf_50 (#32),From when I was a student:
..."one of the students stood up and asked "What can we do to prevent these hard landings?"
From the back my night flying instructor (I recognized his voice) drawled out ...
"Flare!"...
Excerpt from my Page 120, #2391 on "Gaining a RAF Pilots Brevet in WWII":
..."At one point on the Course there was an epidemic of "ground-looping". The AT-6 is above-averagely susceptible to this at the hands of the ham-fisted (or I suppose I should say, the ham-footed) student. There were cases on night landing, and our instructors devised a special technique to deal with it.
You came in at 70 mph, flaps down, with enough power set to give a descent of 700 ft/min. Then you simply flew into the runway with no attempt to check or hold off. There was an almighty bang, you shoved the stick forward, the aircraft skipped once then thumped down, tail-up onto its wheels. You held it there until it had slowed down enough to let the tail down.

It was a "controlled crash". How the AT-6 stood up to this barbarous treatment, I'll never know. The undercarriage must have been massive. I suppose, as a training aircraft, it had to be. At least, none of ours broke"...
Danny42C (class of, in the US Army Air Corps Arnold Scheme).
Danny42C is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 17:55
  #39 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Hants
Age: 75
Posts: 358
Initial instrument flying sortie on the JP3. My Master Pilot instructor said "You've got a touch like a Scandinavian Midwife". Still don't know what he meant but I guess it must have been something like you are crap!

ACW
ACW418 is offline  
Old 31st Aug 2017, 19:32
  #40 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Switzerland
Age: 57
Posts: 29
Parachute freefall course, my first 60 sec delay using a BOC (Bottom of Container) mounted pilot drogue (Which you cannot see when in freefall).

Instructor: OK bloggs, just before you reach your deployment altitude, left arm above your head and with your right hand reach down beside your right arse cheek, find the handle, grip it and with one smooth motion extract and throw it out to the side and return to the stable position.

Me: What if I reach down and accidentally miss the handle ?

Instructor (deadpan) Do you often go to wipe your arse and accidentally miss it ?

Much sniggering from the lads behind me.
Freefly170 is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.