Amusing Sayings
the SU electric fuel pump packed up - the only way we got home was to pull the rear seat back out and get the rear seat passenger to keep clouting it with a jacking handle
best graffiti in Oxford Street Paddo during the gay and lesbian mardi gras
RALPH COME BACK IT WAS ONLY A RASH
the one about crabs jumping six feet gets a mention in Arthur Affleck's (the very first RFDS pilot at Cloncurry in 1928) .. his autobiography THE WANDERING YEARS. He collected the inscriptions he encountered in many a hotel bathroom in pubs throughout the outback.. . PLEASE DON'T KANGAROO THE SEAT . . OUR BREED OF CROC CAN JUMP SIX FEET.
GENTLEMANS WHO PEE IN THE BATH AREN'T NO GENTLEMENS
A Qantas Constellation staging though Karachi to Darwin and Sydney had a snag in the maintenance log on arrival Darwin. It said URINAL HAS BEEN USED AS ARSENAL. The engineer in Darwin wrote it off with PROBLEM RECTUMFIED . (That one attributed to the late highly esteemed George Roberts. His book he called QANTAS BY GEORGE. George had little time or respect for the late 'Scotty' Allan of Qantas. Scotty's book was called SCOTTY ALLAN - AUSTRALIA'S FLYING SCOTSMAN. George was overheard to say when the book came out that it needed the 'F' deleted in FLYING.)
Chief pilot of a multi-engine piston fleet, when asked what it was like after his first hands-on helicopter flight:
'Like having a shave and a w**k at the same time.'
Absolutely true; I was there when it was said.
'Like having a shave and a w**k at the same time.'
Absolutely true; I was there when it was said.
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At a very dull ground school course, with a very keen ground instructor.
Instructor: remember now, there's no "I" in team.
My mate: indeed, but there is an "A" in Tw@t.
Instructor: remember now, there's no "I" in team.
My mate: indeed, but there is an "A" in Tw@t.
Tailspin Turtle
Same with the MGB, only the electric fuel pump was in the far right behind the seats and under the deck above the batteries (yes, two six-volt to provide a 12-volt system), so the driver (left side) could reach back and whack the deck with the knock-off hammer to break the contacts free.
Same with the MGB, only the electric fuel pump was in the far right behind the seats and under the deck above the batteries (yes, two six-volt to provide a 12-volt system), so the driver (left side) could reach back and whack the deck with the knock-off hammer to break the contacts free.
In the mid 70's I had a very early MGB ragtop with a 3 bearing crank engine,returning from a winter party in norfolk,the dear old SU pump packs up but I knew that it would give a 'tick' when the ignition switched on - so on the 10 mile journey home we had a fun time with me driving one handed and switching ign off and on - of course the B had a lovely torquey engine and did not need to change gear very often
Last edited by longer ron; 11th Jul 2016 at 08:29.
Heard over the N.Atlantic on the chat frequency.
Delta to Birdseed; What's your destination?
Birdseed: We are off to Nassau. We are going to lie on the sand and look at the stars. How about you?
Delta: Oh! We're going to LA. We are going to lie on the stars and look at the sand.
Delta to Birdseed; What's your destination?
Birdseed: We are off to Nassau. We are going to lie on the sand and look at the stars. How about you?
Delta: Oh! We're going to LA. We are going to lie on the stars and look at the sand.
If wit were sh1t you would be constipated.
[very old one, even older than me]
And:
"How tall are you?"
"5'8""
"I didn't know they could stack sh1t that high!"
[probably even older]
[very old one, even older than me]
And:
"How tall are you?"
"5'8""
"I didn't know they could stack sh1t that high!"
[probably even older]
Deanop ............ no worries!
Last edited by langleybaston; 12th Jul 2016 at 08:41.
To a colleague on his undeserved [and amazing] promotion
"I suppose that I ought to congratulate you on your extreme good fortune"
Walks away, smirking .......................
"I suppose that I ought to congratulate you on your extreme good fortune"
Walks away, smirking .......................
Toilet graffiti NLS Kinloss
Free Hess! - underneath:- With every packet of Reich Krispies
I used to be dyslexic until I discovered Smoorniff
And on a Nav table scribble board:-
What's the difference between roger and willco?
On the underside:-
You can't willco the cat.
Free Hess! - underneath:- With every packet of Reich Krispies
I used to be dyslexic until I discovered Smoorniff
And on a Nav table scribble board:-
What's the difference between roger and willco?
On the underside:-
You can't willco the cat.
The bloke in the Flight Service Unit said my calls to him to check the radios first thing in the morning were 2 by 2 . When I asked him in person shortly after to please explain he said "Yeah mate . . . . too loud and too often."
old mate called up late in the afternoon to tell the Wagga FSU he was taxying for Hay (he was strictly VFR ) Wagga came straight back with " Will you make Hay while the sun shines?"
and this one probably aired here before -
instructor to student after nav-ex . .. . "the only time you were on track was when you were crossing it."
(and if that is not sufficient aviation content then I'm buggered for any sequel)
old mate called up late in the afternoon to tell the Wagga FSU he was taxying for Hay (he was strictly VFR ) Wagga came straight back with " Will you make Hay while the sun shines?"
and this one probably aired here before -
instructor to student after nav-ex . .. . "the only time you were on track was when you were crossing it."
(and if that is not sufficient aviation content then I'm buggered for any sequel)
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Sign over Harrier Engine Desk 4Sqdn-
IF WE CAN'T FIX IT THEN IT'S NOT BROKEN!
At one squadron we were not allowed to write "No Fault Found" so improvised with "Stick to to seat interface replaced".
Herc Job Card: 'Galley Sink Blocked'. Solution "DOG END REMOVED".
IF WE CAN'T FIX IT THEN IT'S NOT BROKEN!
At one squadron we were not allowed to write "No Fault Found" so improvised with "Stick to to seat interface replaced".
Herc Job Card: 'Galley Sink Blocked'. Solution "DOG END REMOVED".