Amusing Sayings

[Wensleydale]

...as much use as a fart in a bottle.

[NutLoose]

If you can't fix it, f*ck it, so no other f*cker can fix it.

[NutLoose]

If sh*t were brains, he wouldn't have enough to wipe his a*se

[Dan Gerous]

If brains were chocolate, he wouldn't have enough to fill a smartie.


As much use as a concrete parachute

[The Oberon]

If his brain exploded his beret wouldn't come off.

[airpolice]

If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined.

[Cazalet33]

Drill Sgt at Cranditz:
"I'll kick you up the arse so fakkin 'ard you'll be ****tin' Kiwi for the next nine months, Sah!"

[Pontius Navigator]

Originally Posted by PDR1

"I would rather my father worked for ten brexiters than one bremainer"

"Excellent - and what is his profession?"

"Undertaker..."

(with apologies to Hannibal)

PDR

This was also stated by a French POW in Colditz

[woptb]

So confused he didn't know whether he wanted a 5h1t or a haircut!

[BBadanov]

If it floats, flies or fcuks, you're better off renting it !

[stevef]

Not a saying but a first hand account -
Telephones back in the 70s RAF (and no doubt earlier & later) had a sticker on them stating: Speech On This Telephone Is Not Secure. A disheartened soul had scraped off some letters so that it read Speech On This Telephone Is No cure...

[NutLoose]

Everyone has the right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege.

[BEagle]

This thread is titled 'Amusing Sayings' - not adolescent smut.

NutLoose, your posts are particularly crude.

[airpolice]

It would be a funny old world if we were all amused by the same thing. But it's a funny old world anyway.

[pasta]

As useful as a chocolate teapot

As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike

[msbbarratt]

As useful as a chocolate teapot

Sorry, that one has lost its veracity:

Chocolate teapot proves useful - BBC News

[Stanwell]

"As funny as a fart in church".


Now, who hasn't sniggered at that?

[ORAC]

If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you.

[charliegolf]

This thread is titled 'Amusing Sayings' - not adolescent smut.

That's not in the least bit amusing...

CG

[Pontius]

When describing the skirt worn by a particularly large WREN:

"I haven't seen that much canvas since Victory was undergoing sea trials"