Children in pubs
Gentleman Aviator
I'm sorry to say my son is having a 'children not invited' wedding. Bizarre.
Both Teeterettes invoked the same rule at their nuptials. And - despite "contributing" - I wouldn't dream of contesting it, even if I disagreed (which I didn't).
Their reasons seemed quite valid.
1. Numbers of "bums on seats" - which the small people still need. Therefore reducing the numbers of big people who can be invited.
2. It moves the invitation list to what they called "another layer of the onion skin" in which the "if we ask their kids, we have to ask theirs and theirs etc etc" conversation ensues. And they have many fertile mates! So numbers rocket.
3. The sensible young parents said: "Great! Dump rugrats on granny and have a (very rare) night away without them!"
4. And they have to be fed (and maybe "minded"). It might only be the equivalent of a MacD "Happy Meal" - but you'll still probably pay £20 a head for it!
Oh! And I was wearing uniform to give the most recent one away - does that qualify for MilAv? (I had my wings on........)
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Nutnurse
Our wedding invitations some 20 years ago stated: 'This occasion is not appropriate for children' I have been to so many where they just run around. Mrs Exascot's sister's brats would have done. OK, I could have beheaded them with my sword but then I would have had to pay for the carpet to be cleaned.
Regarding children on aircraft. In days gone by when asked at check in, 'Smoking or no smoking" I just said, 'I don't care just no children please'.
On one occasion in economy I had a brat sitting on it's grandmother's knee behind me swinging it's legs kicking the back of my seat. I 'gave the look' back between the gap a few times. I even asked politely if she would stop this. It continued. In the end I stood up and leaned on the back of my seat stared straight at the woman and said loudly, 'Please stop that child kicking the back of my seat. She said, 'but he is only three'. I responded, 'At this rate he will not make four'. It ceased, I sat back down to hear mutterings of, 'nasty man'.
Our wedding invitations some 20 years ago stated: 'This occasion is not appropriate for children' I have been to so many where they just run around. Mrs Exascot's sister's brats would have done. OK, I could have beheaded them with my sword but then I would have had to pay for the carpet to be cleaned.
Regarding children on aircraft. In days gone by when asked at check in, 'Smoking or no smoking" I just said, 'I don't care just no children please'.
On one occasion in economy I had a brat sitting on it's grandmother's knee behind me swinging it's legs kicking the back of my seat. I 'gave the look' back between the gap a few times. I even asked politely if she would stop this. It continued. In the end I stood up and leaned on the back of my seat stared straight at the woman and said loudly, 'Please stop that child kicking the back of my seat. She said, 'but he is only three'. I responded, 'At this rate he will not make four'. It ceased, I sat back down to hear mutterings of, 'nasty man'.
So my Views on kids in pubs and holidays areas is not taken too well by some on here so be it, I also don't agree on paying people to have kids either but someone asked my view on kids in pubs and I stand by my reply keep them at home I go to the pub to speak to people not have to dodge kids running about the place.
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@ Exascot
The Missus has suggested a Ryanair-style Extra Charge For Children On Board Aircraft. I suppose it could also apply to weddings, funerals, family lunches in pubs and what have you. The only thing is, it might bring about difficulties at baptisms.
Now then, what about dogs in pubs? And the landlady's cat? I suppose I ought to make a Mrs Slocombe joke now but I'll leave it to the Usual Suspects.
The Missus has suggested a Ryanair-style Extra Charge For Children On Board Aircraft. I suppose it could also apply to weddings, funerals, family lunches in pubs and what have you. The only thing is, it might bring about difficulties at baptisms.
Now then, what about dogs in pubs? And the landlady's cat? I suppose I ought to make a Mrs Slocombe joke now but I'll leave it to the Usual Suspects.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Aye, PN' s#2 was plus brats (not her' s I hasten to add). Brats had their own dining room, Norland Nanny and entertainers and probably no memory of the event.
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Parents generally choose to have kids and good luck to them.
I don't need to hear and see them when I'm socialising. In my book, I should be able to do this in certain sections of the pub - sans kids.
This landlady gets my vote, tongue in cheek or not.
I don't need to hear and see them when I'm socialising. In my book, I should be able to do this in certain sections of the pub - sans kids.
This landlady gets my vote, tongue in cheek or not.
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@fergineer
For a small consideration, I might be prepared to keep the little s$ds out of your way in a separate room. My services as a reader of 'Winnie the Pooh' and 'The House at Pooh Corner' (only the full text with the Shephard illustrations, of course, none of yer Walt Disney rubbish) have been much called upon by distraught parents over the years. I believe my disconsolate Eeyore and panicked Piglet to be the definitive examples of the genre. Aussies might, I suppose, wish to criticise my Kanga and Roo but I think they're pretty good.
To keep 4Greens happy, in the first story of the first book, Pooh goes flying (under a balloon to steal honey) but is shot down by Christopher Robin. And in the second book, Tigger is an obvious WIWOL.
For a small consideration, I might be prepared to keep the little s$ds out of your way in a separate room. My services as a reader of 'Winnie the Pooh' and 'The House at Pooh Corner' (only the full text with the Shephard illustrations, of course, none of yer Walt Disney rubbish) have been much called upon by distraught parents over the years. I believe my disconsolate Eeyore and panicked Piglet to be the definitive examples of the genre. Aussies might, I suppose, wish to criticise my Kanga and Roo but I think they're pretty good.
To keep 4Greens happy, in the first story of the first book, Pooh goes flying (under a balloon to steal honey) but is shot down by Christopher Robin. And in the second book, Tigger is an obvious WIWOL.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Fergineer, we were taken for tea at the Ritz by our daughters. The 2 year old grandson came too.
Later, a couple at the next table came over. They said that their hearts sank when we came in but they then said they had never seen such a little well behaved boy.
Mind you he made up for it later. I have carried him, kicking and screaming, aged 5 out of a restaurant in Cyprus. At 9 he is now near normal. Give it 5-6 years
Later, a couple at the next table came over. They said that their hearts sank when we came in but they then said they had never seen such a little well behaved boy.
Mind you he made up for it later. I have carried him, kicking and screaming, aged 5 out of a restaurant in Cyprus. At 9 he is now near normal. Give it 5-6 years
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It was the opening of the 700 year old Ilkeston Charter Fair yesterday. Went to see it and then stopped by one of the local pubs. Counted 13 kids buggies and 3 motorised ones for larger disabled people.
It was like an F1 for kids but you couldn't hear the engines for noise!
It was like an F1 for kids but you couldn't hear the engines for noise!
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You've forgotten the glued-on baseball cap, Newt.
The next stage from that is fun - asking why embarrassing parents i) give Hallowe'en treats to people he knows, ii) don't wipe the outside window sills every morning like the people over the road, iii) don't vacuum the drive on Saturdays ditto.
I did give extra for initiative (see OCTU thread) to the lad doing 'penny for the Guy' outside a pub in Oxford years ago who had dressed up and made up his little brother as Guy Fawkes and had him sitting in a buggy.
The next stage from that is fun - asking why embarrassing parents i) give Hallowe'en treats to people he knows, ii) don't wipe the outside window sills every morning like the people over the road, iii) don't vacuum the drive on Saturdays ditto.
I did give extra for initiative (see OCTU thread) to the lad doing 'penny for the Guy' outside a pub in Oxford years ago who had dressed up and made up his little brother as Guy Fawkes and had him sitting in a buggy.
Hallowe'en treats...
.The only thing worse than kids banging on the door demanding money with menaces and that's their creepy breeders lurking in the nearby hedges making sure that their brats aren't invited in by some Jimmy Savile / Rolf Harris character....
The only thing worse than kids banging on the door demanding money with menaces and that's their creepy breeders lurking in the nearby hedges making sure that their brats aren't invited in by some Jimmy Savile / Rolf Harris character....
Round here some people put up a No Halloween Callers please and SWMBO said last year that when she was walking with the kids nobody went near these houses respecting residents wishes.
One house with older teenagers had decorated the living daylights out of their house (Christmas is something else) and happy to welcome everybody.
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TT Glad you put this here 'by mistake'. I haven't counted but I think the concensus of opinion is NO. Perhaps you should write to 'call me Dave' and ask him to pass a new law. Oh no of course he is the one who not only takes his kids to the pub but leaves them there. 
Exascot
As I previously pointed out, the general consensus may be no, but take a look at the average age of the posters. It is not exactly a balanced view you're getting.
Wasn't it Harry Enfield that did the old gits sketch? For some reason that just popped into my head.
BV
Wasn't it Harry Enfield that did the old gits sketch? For some reason that just popped into my head.
BV
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Harry Enfield also did the Kevin the teenager sketch with Kathy Burke as his mate Perry. As I recall, Kevin turned into a mature, responsible young adult after finally getting his end away.
sketch with Kathy Burke as his mate Perry. As I recall, Kevin turned into a mature, responsible young adult after finally getting his end away.