Landing
Most Thai bar girls are very nice young ladies.
Please don't tell me that you demean yourself by flying on Mikey-the-Pikey's horrible excuse for an airline? Surely you have some standards?
Last edited by BEagle; 1st Oct 2012 at 20:59.
I wouldn't fly on either of the two airlines that shall not be mentioned if they were the last airlines on earth. Mustn't mention their names here. Neither EasyJet nor Ryan Air shall be mentioned. Oh, no. Never.
Last edited by Courtney Mil; 1st Oct 2012 at 21:02.
Originally Posted by BEagle
Until closer inspection reveals that not all is quite as you might think, eh Courtney
She, Courtney, 'she'.....
???
This is priceless - thanks to this thread, the stupid PPRuNe advert-suggester is coming up with 'Me ruvv you big time' LBFM dating sites.....
???This is priceless - thanks to this thread, the stupid PPRuNe advert-suggester is coming up with 'Me ruvv you big time' LBFM dating sites.....
I suspect that the difference arose because most mil operations end up with visual circuits
and on
and on
and on
with the guys down the back praying to hear the words "land & stream".
One of the hazards of flying with the squadron QFI
Which sometimes used to go on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on
Particularly when the lower deck directional consultants had dreamed up some esoteric 2-sextant 7-shot sandwich fixing nonsense. We co-piglets soon learned which ones to cock up with a spoof "Three, two, one...now - one minute to astro!" call....Long live Uncle Garmin!
Last edited by BEagle; 1st Oct 2012 at 21:48.
Yeah. Early days on the F4 some pilots, not me of course, would occassionally get a hard time from a nav about flying slightly through the centreline or being 'ON Plus 15' downwind or some such fatal error whilst flyiing a circuit. But try to practice a bit to make the circuits better and woah! Chants of "Bar's open", "Bar's closing", "I'm not paid overtime", etc. Just can't win sometimes.
Anyway, thankfully CRM hadn't been invented then so it wasn't a problem.
Having said that, I wonder what the reaction would be when the Airliner Captain announces,
"We're due to arrive at London Heathrow 15 minutes ahead of schedule, the weather is fine and temperature this evening is a pleasant 13 degrees. As we're here early, the First Officer is going to fly a couple of circuits before we finally land. He's new, so please don't be alarmed if you notice the odd deviation from the company SOPs. We thank you for flying Yorkshire Airlines and wish you every success in future lives."
Anyway, thankfully CRM hadn't been invented then so it wasn't a problem.
Having said that, I wonder what the reaction would be when the Airliner Captain announces,
"We're due to arrive at London Heathrow 15 minutes ahead of schedule, the weather is fine and temperature this evening is a pleasant 13 degrees. As we're here early, the First Officer is going to fly a couple of circuits before we finally land. He's new, so please don't be alarmed if you notice the odd deviation from the company SOPs. We thank you for flying Yorkshire Airlines and wish you every success in future lives."
Last edited by Courtney Mil; 1st Oct 2012 at 21:50.
As we're here early, the First Officer is going to fly a couple of circuits before we finally land....
Making his way to the flight deck, he enquired as to what was going on. "Nothing wrong with the kite, old boy; haven't done a single engined approach for ages, so thought I might as well take the opportunity", replied some magnificently bewhiskered ex-Bomber Command captain, with an impressive chestful of medal ribbons.
"Hmm", muttered JS and returned to his seat. "Stewardess, another horse's neck please - and make it a large one if you would!"....
Last edited by BEagle; 1st Oct 2012 at 22:07.
On the old Valiant the minimum fuel for arrival was 10,000 lbs. One was supposed to use up half of it bashing the circuit until about 4,000 lbs remained.
However, landing with fuel in the underwings was prohibited so to this end they were ventilated by jettioning the dregs just before the descent. Sometimes the dregs were quite spectacular; leaving a trail of fuel for several miles. Some co-pilots, I plead the Fifth Amendment, were known to store as much fuel as possible in the underwings, especially on a Friday. just to make sure.
We used to have a lot of happy bunnies in the back.
However, landing with fuel in the underwings was prohibited so to this end they were ventilated by jettioning the dregs just before the descent. Sometimes the dregs were quite spectacular; leaving a trail of fuel for several miles. Some co-pilots, I plead the Fifth Amendment, were known to store as much fuel as possible in the underwings, especially on a Friday. just to make sure.
We used to have a lot of happy bunnies in the back.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
FED, on the Vulcan there were two sets of fuel guages. One 'managed' by the copilot and the others monitored by all the rear crew.
Oddly the ones in the back always under read the ones in the front by 2,000lbs when fuel remaining reduced to 10k.
On one sortie, late at night as there was a general view of one up all up, our guest AEO asked 'final landing' at which point our skipper announced 'into visuals'.
Arriving at Ops in the crew bus the AEO asked why he had gone in to visuals as he didn't need the stats (smart AEO had checked pre-flight). 'Because I felt like it,' replied the skipper.
Whop, as the skipper received one on his nose 'why dun yu du that?'
'Because I felt like it.'
Oddly the ones in the back always under read the ones in the front by 2,000lbs when fuel remaining reduced to 10k.
On one sortie, late at night as there was a general view of one up all up, our guest AEO asked 'final landing' at which point our skipper announced 'into visuals'.
Arriving at Ops in the crew bus the AEO asked why he had gone in to visuals as he didn't need the stats (smart AEO had checked pre-flight). 'Because I felt like it,' replied the skipper.
Whop, as the skipper received one on his nose 'why dun yu du that?'
'Because I felt like it.'
"Mildly" Eccentric Stardriver
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Courtney Mil
The trick is to buy some 100 ml plastic bottles and label them: "mouthwash; deodorant; after-shave; shampoo; conditioner." Pack them in the 'approved' size plastic see-through bag for easy inspection by those helpful folks in security.
You can fill each one with your favourite single malt, thus having half a litre of Islay's finest within easy reach to savour and enjoy at any point on your journey.
Ah ha! So that's why I'm only allowed 3kg of baggage and only 100ml of 'medicine' on board.
You can fill each one with your favourite single malt, thus having half a litre of Islay's finest within easy reach to savour and enjoy at any point on your journey.
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TTN
Bored with vis circiuts, eh? As I recall, not all Nav Rads stuck around for them.
On Vulcans and, I think, on Victors we somtimes landed and taxiied round to pick up a replacement pilot who needed a few circuits for a night check or some other 'tick in the box' The departing pilot would be closely followed by the Nav Rad, who, deciding it was not for him, would slope off to the Mess leaving the four man crew to get on with it.
Strange, I never recall a Plotter taking the chance to opt out of extra circuits.
Bored with vis circiuts, eh? As I recall, not all Nav Rads stuck around for them.
On Vulcans and, I think, on Victors we somtimes landed and taxiied round to pick up a replacement pilot who needed a few circuits for a night check or some other 'tick in the box' The departing pilot would be closely followed by the Nav Rad, who, deciding it was not for him, would slope off to the Mess leaving the four man crew to get on with it.
Strange, I never recall a Plotter taking the chance to opt out of extra circuits.
On 35 sqn, we had a Nav Plotter who would undo his straps, pack up his astrolabe, quadrant staff and lodestone immediately after landing, then unplug from the intercom. As soon as we were on chocks and the door was opened, he'd be out like a flash....and off to the line hut for a smoke.
So one night we hatched a plot. We planned to land, taxy to some far part of the north side of the aerodrome and pretend to park...then leave him to his own devices in the dark whilst we taxyed round to Foxtrot. The players were duly briefed, but unfortunately the jet went tits-up on crew-in, so we never did get the chance to abandon 'Animal' (for 'twas he) in the dark...
We certainly did have a Nav Radar who didn't take much interest in circuit flying. After one roller on RW23, the Captain elected for an internal aids approach..... "Co to conference", called the AEO. "The bugger's sleeping!", he told me. I told the Captain off-intercom, who had a quiet word with Binbrook on the other box as we set off downwind.....
As the North Sea came into view, the Captain quietly asked "Are you going to turn us in soon, Radar?". Then repeated it rather louder - and the AEO reached over and tapped him on the arm with the Plotter's nav rule. "Huh? Eh? What did you say, Captain". "I asked you when you were going to turn us in on this internal aids approach....there seems to be some large built up area ahead - I think it's Grimsby!".
As indeed it was. Sleeping Beauty suddenly realised that we were about 18 miles downwind at 2000 ft. It took him a while to live that one down!
So one night we hatched a plot. We planned to land, taxy to some far part of the north side of the aerodrome and pretend to park...then leave him to his own devices in the dark whilst we taxyed round to Foxtrot. The players were duly briefed, but unfortunately the jet went tits-up on crew-in, so we never did get the chance to abandon 'Animal' (for 'twas he) in the dark...
We certainly did have a Nav Radar who didn't take much interest in circuit flying. After one roller on RW23, the Captain elected for an internal aids approach..... "Co to conference", called the AEO. "The bugger's sleeping!", he told me. I told the Captain off-intercom, who had a quiet word with Binbrook on the other box as we set off downwind.....
As the North Sea came into view, the Captain quietly asked "Are you going to turn us in soon, Radar?". Then repeated it rather louder - and the AEO reached over and tapped him on the arm with the Plotter's nav rule. "Huh? Eh? What did you say, Captain". "I asked you when you were going to turn us in on this internal aids approach....there seems to be some large built up area ahead - I think it's Grimsby!".
As indeed it was. Sleeping Beauty suddenly realised that we were about 18 miles downwind at 2000 ft. It took him a while to live that one down!
Last edited by BEagle; 2nd Oct 2012 at 16:43.
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So in summary to my original question..... You are/were all just doing what you were told? Haha.
I have enjoyed the thread though, decent banter. Hopefully one day i will be able to join in from the Engineering perspective and tell you all that you will all fly/land within the parameters which I set and so I'm the daddy
I have enjoyed the thread though, decent banter. Hopefully one day i will be able to join in from the Engineering perspective and tell you all that you will all fly/land within the parameters which I set and so I'm the daddy