Military aviation quotes...
Join Date: Apr 1998
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The remarkable Pete Shepherd of the Navy's Historical flight told me this little tale.
Prince Charles was on a visit aboard Ark Royal. Pete, as LSO, was given the job of showing him around but HRH made it clear that he would like to visit the flight deck during land ons. Pete explained as much as he should, but further told HRH that it was a dangerous place to be and particularly pointed to an escape chute that went down a deck or two in the event of a nasty.
"Sir, this chute should be used as an emergency exit for both of us on my say so, that is to say that if an aeroplane, or a wire breaks, that is the way we go. Sir, one other thing, your Mummy has no doubt told you that you are first in line of descent, but I am here to tell you that should there be an emergency you will follow ME in the descent".
With his usual large pint in his hand, and coming from his lips, it was a story as believable as any.
Prince Charles was on a visit aboard Ark Royal. Pete, as LSO, was given the job of showing him around but HRH made it clear that he would like to visit the flight deck during land ons. Pete explained as much as he should, but further told HRH that it was a dangerous place to be and particularly pointed to an escape chute that went down a deck or two in the event of a nasty.
"Sir, this chute should be used as an emergency exit for both of us on my say so, that is to say that if an aeroplane, or a wire breaks, that is the way we go. Sir, one other thing, your Mummy has no doubt told you that you are first in line of descent, but I am here to tell you that should there be an emergency you will follow ME in the descent".
With his usual large pint in his hand, and coming from his lips, it was a story as believable as any.
Join Date: Oct 2001
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Overheard in the tower at a fast jet base in Norfolk during a particularly windy day with aircraft nearing their croswind limits. One particular pilot asked to be kept up to date with the wind off the clock, to which the controller replied...
'Do you want me to keep passing wind until you take off ???' <img src="eek.gif" border="0">
'Do you want me to keep passing wind until you take off ???' <img src="eek.gif" border="0">
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Just around the corner, waiting with a big stick
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Nameless UAS crewroom, lunchtime, slow flying day:
Everyone talking about one of the QFIs and his qualities (of which there are many):
Anon (looking up from magazine): "Yep, F/L X. nice chap, big chopper."
And straight back to reading the paper without a blink. Apparently he was talking about the QFI's tendency to remove people from the course!
Everyone talking about one of the QFIs and his qualities (of which there are many):
Anon (looking up from magazine): "Yep, F/L X. nice chap, big chopper."
And straight back to reading the paper without a blink. Apparently he was talking about the QFI's tendency to remove people from the course!
In t'old days, back on Chippie, in the climb (slowly) for a spin:
Me: Blah blah climb to FL blah blah recover by blah blah abandon by blah blah.. your brief, Sir.
QFI: Blah blah min height to abandon, blah blah, I have Control blah blah, if we lose intercom blah blah wiggle stick this way, you wiggle it that way... Oh fvck it! if it all goes cold and you see my feet, you'll get the message!
. ."The crew will be last to leave the airplane. The captain will be the last to leave of the crew.. .If I pass you on the way out, you have just been promoted to Captain!"
. ."The big fan on top of a helicopter does nothing except keep the pilot cool. If it stops, watch the fvcker sweat!"
Me: Blah blah climb to FL blah blah recover by blah blah abandon by blah blah.. your brief, Sir.
QFI: Blah blah min height to abandon, blah blah, I have Control blah blah, if we lose intercom blah blah wiggle stick this way, you wiggle it that way... Oh fvck it! if it all goes cold and you see my feet, you'll get the message!
. ."The crew will be last to leave the airplane. The captain will be the last to leave of the crew.. .If I pass you on the way out, you have just been promoted to Captain!"
. ."The big fan on top of a helicopter does nothing except keep the pilot cool. If it stops, watch the fvcker sweat!"
A few 'puddies'.
Hunters RAFG, some years ago " weather's too bad for GCA, I'll come in visually"- and he did!
Hunter,over Holland.. .Q from ATC "Do you have any Nav Aids?".. .A " Yes, I'm speaking on it."
Meteor at Brawdy, some years later after engine shutdown.. .Q from ATC " Do you wish to declare an emergency.". .A " No thank you, I have a spare on the other wing."
Nothing matters very much, most things don't matter at all.
Hunters RAFG, some years ago " weather's too bad for GCA, I'll come in visually"- and he did!
Hunter,over Holland.. .Q from ATC "Do you have any Nav Aids?".. .A " Yes, I'm speaking on it."
Meteor at Brawdy, some years later after engine shutdown.. .Q from ATC " Do you wish to declare an emergency.". .A " No thank you, I have a spare on the other wing."
Nothing matters very much, most things don't matter at all.
Join Date: Jul 2000
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Early in the Bulldog's career, with a student also early into his training for a ground job... Well renowned Irish instuctor [O'Mahoney - to be sure, twas he - last seen heading Luton way with a smart ATPL in the lateish 70s] in the R seat, the student was downwind, so to speak, while QFI made the usual copious debrief aide memoires on his kneepad, but keeping his third eye on the world about. The QFI notices a sudden change in the earth's axis whereby his chinagraph floats toward the roof of the canopy and the sun undergoes a rapid change in position and goes out, while the earth seems to have done a 180 and is clearly visible in the roof of the canopy.
Most unusual, thought the QFI to himself. What can have happened he pondered. Goodness me, is that the altimetre spinning counter clockwise? It was only due to an incredible and instant appraisal of the spatial environmental status by the QFI that helped identify that the world was actually functioning normally, with all circuit breakers in place whereas the a/c had in fact mysteriously become inverted. The stood discalimed all responsibility, naturally enough.
The QFIs only comment was 'I have control for the break....'
Oh how ones life can seem so short on some days....
<img src="cool.gif" border="0">
Most unusual, thought the QFI to himself. What can have happened he pondered. Goodness me, is that the altimetre spinning counter clockwise? It was only due to an incredible and instant appraisal of the spatial environmental status by the QFI that helped identify that the world was actually functioning normally, with all circuit breakers in place whereas the a/c had in fact mysteriously become inverted. The stood discalimed all responsibility, naturally enough.
The QFIs only comment was 'I have control for the break....'
Oh how ones life can seem so short on some days....
<img src="cool.gif" border="0">
Join Date: Feb 2001
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Emanating from a slightly stressed pilot on instrument finals who hopefully misheard..
Tower: ****20 say POB. .Reply: 2 decimal 4
Also two Rn Seakings were heading up the south coast en route to a landaway in germany, talking to a rather pleasant sounding controller on portland approach,
Portland Approach, this is ***** a formation of two navy G strings at 200' transiting etc etc. .Me thinks the a visit to the Reaperbarn was on the cards....
There is of course the famous
"Sootie says, You're chopped!". . <img src="smile.gif" border="0"> <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
[ 24 January 2002: Message edited by: oldpinger ]</p>
Tower: ****20 say POB. .Reply: 2 decimal 4
Also two Rn Seakings were heading up the south coast en route to a landaway in germany, talking to a rather pleasant sounding controller on portland approach,
Portland Approach, this is ***** a formation of two navy G strings at 200' transiting etc etc. .Me thinks the a visit to the Reaperbarn was on the cards....
There is of course the famous
"Sootie says, You're chopped!". . <img src="smile.gif" border="0"> <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
[ 24 January 2002: Message edited by: oldpinger ]</p>
