What to do with a Walt?
Remember standing beside one of her Majesty's finest nozzly jets and having a lady of a certain vintage approach me. She had the full mad, old woman kit - long floral skirt with wasteband dissappearing under an unfeasably pendulous bosom which was heading towards her knees, a beard like a rhodedendron bush and a faint Eau de Cat. In a perfect margaret Rutherford voice, she proceeded to tell me how the jet had changed in the days since she had been OC IV Sqn! Mad as a bucket of frogs but not strictly a walt.
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Remember standing beside one of her Majesty's finest nozzly jets and having a lady of a certain vintage approach me. She had the full mad, old woman kit - long floral skirt with wasteband dissappearing under an unfeasably pendulous bosom which was heading towards her knees, a beard like a rhodedendron bush and a faint Eau de Cat. In a perfect margaret Rutherford voice, she proceeded to tell me how the jet had changed in the days since she had been OC IV Sqn! Mad as a bucket of frogs but not strictly a walt.
Walts et alia
OK An Teallach
The spread of advice seems to cover everything from hanging, through public humiliation to "aw diddums" counselling approach. Whatcha gonna do?
Personally, I'd go for the VERY carefully researched background and a "created" occasion to skewer the chap, but very slowly, so that he can fully savour the awfulness of his situation as it dawns on him. Did he appear to be a stupid person? In which case all that effort might be wasted. You've had 4 pages of advice - I say again - whatcha gonna do?
The Ancient Mariner
The spread of advice seems to cover everything from hanging, through public humiliation to "aw diddums" counselling approach. Whatcha gonna do?
Personally, I'd go for the VERY carefully researched background and a "created" occasion to skewer the chap, but very slowly, so that he can fully savour the awfulness of his situation as it dawns on him. Did he appear to be a stupid person? In which case all that effort might be wasted. You've had 4 pages of advice - I say again - whatcha gonna do?
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Having been on the wrong end of a wind-up originated by An Teallach - which was devilishly cunning and (afterwards) amusing - I have complete confidence in his ability to deal with his 'Walt' and look forward to the debrief in this forum.
If he is ex-serving but has a TELIC gong, he must be fairly recent of this parish. Depending how cruel you want to be, you could always knock up a re-call notice, informing him that a re-called to duty as part of the reserves is in the offing for a lot of people and will likely be going to Afghanistan.
You could always back it up with some paperwork - maybe a bodged photoshopped newspaper article, some internet cuttings, a made up letter saying you have to report for trg etc and he will prob get his in a couple of weeks time etc to ram it home that bit harder. Watch his reaction as he is faced with the prospect of actually having to go and do something to earn his gongs.
A simple det to the Stan shouldn't be a problem for someone with a chestfull of op medals and an MBE to boot. ...... Or am I being a bit too cruel here?
You could always back it up with some paperwork - maybe a bodged photoshopped newspaper article, some internet cuttings, a made up letter saying you have to report for trg etc and he will prob get his in a couple of weeks time etc to ram it home that bit harder. Watch his reaction as he is faced with the prospect of actually having to go and do something to earn his gongs.
A simple det to the Stan shouldn't be a problem for someone with a chestfull of op medals and an MBE to boot. ...... Or am I being a bit too cruel here?
I've seen four "Walts", three military and one nautical who claimed to have sailed the Atlantic single handed many times.
Before you do anything, I would suggest a discrete call to central army records office or whatever the British Equivalent is. Simply pass on the name, rank, number, regiment, any dates and apparent gongs and ask them to confirm the existence of such a person with a simple yes or no.
If you fail to do this, you could possibly be unintentionally slandering someone.
Then, assuming CARO says "No" simply get your association secretary to write him a private letter in which you "fail to understand certain anomalies in your service record." and ask for an explanation. That will usually see them slink away.
On the other hand if he is genuine, the blistering reply your secretary will no doubt receive should be followed with an invitation to talk about his unusual service at an appropriate function.
You should take action to resolve it though. Two of the military Walts I saw caused a great deal of mischief and confusion before they were unmasked, both made sensational claims that made the newspapers.
Before you do anything, I would suggest a discrete call to central army records office or whatever the British Equivalent is. Simply pass on the name, rank, number, regiment, any dates and apparent gongs and ask them to confirm the existence of such a person with a simple yes or no.
If you fail to do this, you could possibly be unintentionally slandering someone.
Then, assuming CARO says "No" simply get your association secretary to write him a private letter in which you "fail to understand certain anomalies in your service record." and ask for an explanation. That will usually see them slink away.
On the other hand if he is genuine, the blistering reply your secretary will no doubt receive should be followed with an invitation to talk about his unusual service at an appropriate function.
You should take action to resolve it though. Two of the military Walts I saw caused a great deal of mischief and confusion before they were unmasked, both made sensational claims that made the newspapers.
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Many thanks for all the advice, chaps & chapesses.
I'm still waiting to hear back from the Regtl Association, though it really is only for confirmation.
Much as I might find the set piece build-up then knock-down rather delicious, as El Presidente of our society is a clergyman, I suspect rather more Christian charity may be the order of the day. Walter will probably get off with a quiet 'never darken our door again'.
Judging by the warning at the top of the Wikipedia page on the 1997 New Year's Honours List, my pet Walt is probably not the only one clogging up the list.
However, I'll let you know how it all pans out.
I'm still waiting to hear back from the Regtl Association, though it really is only for confirmation.
Much as I might find the set piece build-up then knock-down rather delicious, as El Presidente of our society is a clergyman, I suspect rather more Christian charity may be the order of the day. Walter will probably get off with a quiet 'never darken our door again'.
Judging by the warning at the top of the Wikipedia page on the 1997 New Year's Honours List, my pet Walt is probably not the only one clogging up the list.
However, I'll let you know how it all pans out.
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Well, for those who asked for a debrief, the Black Watch Regimental Association got back to me today and, unsurprisingly neither they nor the RHQ have heard of SSgt McMitty MBE, VD & Scar. The icing on the cake, though, is that Walt and his wife's visas have been revoked by the Home Office and they are to leave the country at the weekend. Sadly, I don't know the reason for the deportation and presume it wasn't for walting since you don't get deported for murder with this government!
Needless to say, a copy of the reply from the Black Watch will be winging its way to our sister society in the USA so that any application for membership from the McMittys may be properly considered before it is rejected.
Another nicely ironic touch: In his letter, the gentleman from the real Black Watch has asked me to propose him for membership of our society; so having disposed of McMitty, I won't even be down on membership.
Though I've always had my doubts, perhaps there is a god ... and our society's Reverend President has a hotline! Note to self: Remember not to upset El Presidente!
Needless to say, a copy of the reply from the Black Watch will be winging its way to our sister society in the USA so that any application for membership from the McMittys may be properly considered before it is rejected.
Another nicely ironic touch: In his letter, the gentleman from the real Black Watch has asked me to propose him for membership of our society; so having disposed of McMitty, I won't even be down on membership.
Though I've always had my doubts, perhaps there is a god ... and our society's Reverend President has a hotline! Note to self: Remember not to upset El Presidente!
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Oops! 2 days after my last post, our Reverend President was mown down in a weekend of carnage on Scottish roads. A great shame, he was a fine chap.
However, to finish the McMitty saga. The dirty deed of the outing has been done. Here is the exchange verbatim except for that which is in squared brackets to try to preserve anonymity. It gives an interesting insight into the delusional mind. It's a shame really, he came across as a nice chap on meeting him.
13 February 2007: Walt to AT
[AT] could you please let us know whats going on, being out of the country no news you know! Cheers mate!
14 Feb 07: AT to Walt
Dear [Walt]
[The event] went well and was well attended, please pass on my thanks to [Mrs McMitty] for the work she put in.
That said, I regret to inform you that following the Annual Gathering, we made enquiries of the Black Watch and they deny having known you. I presume it was you who made the entry [on Wikipedia for McMitty, SSGT Walter], (537967) Black Watch from IP Address [*****] at 15:02 on 17 Sep 06.
I should inform you that the Army number 537967 would belong to a commissioned officer. The rank SSGT would be written as Staff Sgt in such a list, but that is academic since there are no Staff Sgts in the Black Watch; the infantry have Colour Sgts. Furthermore, in a formal list the regiment would be listed as The Black Watch (RHR).
The [Committee] considered the evidence from Wikipedia, other internet information which places you in the USA in 1997 and the reply from the Black Watch and we concluded that you were wearing medals and claiming service to which you were not entitled, commonly known as “Walting.” A particularly distasteful gesture as the event occurred on Remembrance Day.
As the Wikipedia entry was made in Sep 2006, we can only conclude that [Mrs McMitty] was ‘in on’ the attempted deception. We have therefore decided that we shall not take a subscription from either of you for 2007 or in the future and you should no longer consider yourselves members of the [Society].
15 Feb 07: Walt to AT
This is bull**** [AT], and you know it. I know who came up with this crap, [M] and [N] right! I was wearing medels of my father and grandfather, which Im legally entitled to wear and which I never said were mine, and I was in the ROTC of the Black Watch. So just basing evidence on this wiki web site which by the way is not a .org web site which can not be fully trusted, and some other web sites, and then blaming [Mrs McMitty]! What the hell mate, I guess maybe [Mrs McMitty] and I were right about the [societies] then, they never change do they. I regret that [Mrs McMitty] put so much into getting the event ready for YOU and the others. What a waste that you are believing web sites such as thoughs.
15 Feb 07: AT to Walt
Dear [Walt]
Thank you for your e-mail. The exposure of your walting had nothing to do with [M] and [N], it was the Ex-Servicemen at the gathering that noticed something was amiss, myself included. We did not get confirmation from the Black Watch until the Thursday before you left.
You are not entitled to wear miniatures of your father’s and/or grandfather’s medals. Full size medals of parents or spouses may be worn at remembrance events only on the right breast (not the left) by widow(er)s or children. The Black Watch doesn’t have an ROTC (no British Army unit does) and you told me and others that night that you had served in the Black Watch.
No-one “blamed” (your word) [Mrs McMitty]. However, it is unfortunate for your professed denials that she had you listed as “Piper: [Walter McMitty] MBE” in the programme for the Annual Gathering. As you’ll see from these links, the trail of your walting on the web extends well beyond Wikipedia:
It is a pity, you struck me as a nice guy. However, if I may offer some advice, I would recommend that you ditch your delusional past and decorations and concentrate on getting on with life. That future will be without [the society].
I wish you and [Mrs McMitty] well.
16 Feb 07: Walt to AT
Oh and by the way [AT]. I know that us leaving you in the lurch with leaving due to [Mrs McMitty]’s visa problem. When I emailed you, it was about [the President’s] funeral, you emailing us back with this very rude email about army ****, now I remember why I left Britain before. You Scottish are the ruddist people. [M] and [N] I can understand, they are just stuid, but for you to say the things you did about [Mrs McMitty] after what she did for you, rude. She and were right when we talked to [the President], that [committee] was a waste of our time, and I guess we cant think of you as a friend now. Sorry, but just think about what you said, and the way it was put. Rude, but being Scottish, I guess you dont know the difference of being rude is, no wonder it was so easy for the English to take over Scotland! Stuid and rude, oh well I no longer want to be part of [the Society] anymore, nor does [Mrs McMitty], rude, rude rude is what you guys are to us!
However, to finish the McMitty saga. The dirty deed of the outing has been done. Here is the exchange verbatim except for that which is in squared brackets to try to preserve anonymity. It gives an interesting insight into the delusional mind. It's a shame really, he came across as a nice chap on meeting him.
13 February 2007: Walt to AT
[AT] could you please let us know whats going on, being out of the country no news you know! Cheers mate!
14 Feb 07: AT to Walt
Dear [Walt]
[The event] went well and was well attended, please pass on my thanks to [Mrs McMitty] for the work she put in.
That said, I regret to inform you that following the Annual Gathering, we made enquiries of the Black Watch and they deny having known you. I presume it was you who made the entry [on Wikipedia for McMitty, SSGT Walter], (537967) Black Watch from IP Address [*****] at 15:02 on 17 Sep 06.
I should inform you that the Army number 537967 would belong to a commissioned officer. The rank SSGT would be written as Staff Sgt in such a list, but that is academic since there are no Staff Sgts in the Black Watch; the infantry have Colour Sgts. Furthermore, in a formal list the regiment would be listed as The Black Watch (RHR).
The [Committee] considered the evidence from Wikipedia, other internet information which places you in the USA in 1997 and the reply from the Black Watch and we concluded that you were wearing medals and claiming service to which you were not entitled, commonly known as “Walting.” A particularly distasteful gesture as the event occurred on Remembrance Day.
As the Wikipedia entry was made in Sep 2006, we can only conclude that [Mrs McMitty] was ‘in on’ the attempted deception. We have therefore decided that we shall not take a subscription from either of you for 2007 or in the future and you should no longer consider yourselves members of the [Society].
15 Feb 07: Walt to AT
This is bull**** [AT], and you know it. I know who came up with this crap, [M] and [N] right! I was wearing medels of my father and grandfather, which Im legally entitled to wear and which I never said were mine, and I was in the ROTC of the Black Watch. So just basing evidence on this wiki web site which by the way is not a .org web site which can not be fully trusted, and some other web sites, and then blaming [Mrs McMitty]! What the hell mate, I guess maybe [Mrs McMitty] and I were right about the [societies] then, they never change do they. I regret that [Mrs McMitty] put so much into getting the event ready for YOU and the others. What a waste that you are believing web sites such as thoughs.
15 Feb 07: AT to Walt
Dear [Walt]
Thank you for your e-mail. The exposure of your walting had nothing to do with [M] and [N], it was the Ex-Servicemen at the gathering that noticed something was amiss, myself included. We did not get confirmation from the Black Watch until the Thursday before you left.
You are not entitled to wear miniatures of your father’s and/or grandfather’s medals. Full size medals of parents or spouses may be worn at remembrance events only on the right breast (not the left) by widow(er)s or children. The Black Watch doesn’t have an ROTC (no British Army unit does) and you told me and others that night that you had served in the Black Watch.
No-one “blamed” (your word) [Mrs McMitty]. However, it is unfortunate for your professed denials that she had you listed as “Piper: [Walter McMitty] MBE” in the programme for the Annual Gathering. As you’ll see from these links, the trail of your walting on the web extends well beyond Wikipedia:
[link to archived version of a tour site for which he worked as a guide]
[Walter McMitty] was born in England, and moved throughout the world as he was growing up. He has experienced almost everything on the 'adventurer's to-do list': from climbing China's Great Wall to walking the plains of Russia to hiking Mount Kilimanjaro before the age of 20. An experienced bagpiper, [Walter] served as a medic in the British Army. He is completing his master's degree in Scottish history, and loves reading, hiking and playing the pipes ... as well as exploring castles.
[Walter McMitty] was born in England, and moved throughout the world as he was growing up. He has experienced almost everything on the 'adventurer's to-do list': from climbing China's Great Wall to walking the plains of Russia to hiking Mount Kilimanjaro before the age of 20. An experienced bagpiper, [Walter] served as a medic in the British Army. He is completing his master's degree in Scottish history, and loves reading, hiking and playing the pipes ... as well as exploring castles.
[link to his Alma Mater in the USA]
From England to Connecticut, to Washington State, to Hong Kong, to Scotland…this is the winding path of [Walter McMitty] ’88, soldier, historian, teacher and bagpiper extraordinaire.
And, of course, to top it all, your own website: From England to Connecticut, to Washington State, to Hong Kong, to Scotland…this is the winding path of [Walter McMitty] ’88, soldier, historian, teacher and bagpiper extraordinaire.
[link to his ‘wedding piper’ website]
Sergeant in the Royal Highland Regimental The Black Watch Pipe Band for 12 years and trained as a medic. …
List of Credits Winner of 2 gold and 4 silver piping awards M.B.E. (Member of the British Empire) F.H.S. (Fellow of Historical Society) Hon. F.R.A.M. (Honorary Member Royal Academy of Music)
It is patently obvious from your lack of knowledge of the British Army that you have never served in it and if the Royal Academy of Music has ever heard of you, I’m a monkey’s uncle.Sergeant in the Royal Highland Regimental The Black Watch Pipe Band for 12 years and trained as a medic. …
List of Credits Winner of 2 gold and 4 silver piping awards M.B.E. (Member of the British Empire) F.H.S. (Fellow of Historical Society) Hon. F.R.A.M. (Honorary Member Royal Academy of Music)
It is a pity, you struck me as a nice guy. However, if I may offer some advice, I would recommend that you ditch your delusional past and decorations and concentrate on getting on with life. That future will be without [the society].
I wish you and [Mrs McMitty] well.
16 Feb 07: Walt to AT
Oh and by the way [AT]. I know that us leaving you in the lurch with leaving due to [Mrs McMitty]’s visa problem. When I emailed you, it was about [the President’s] funeral, you emailing us back with this very rude email about army ****, now I remember why I left Britain before. You Scottish are the ruddist people. [M] and [N] I can understand, they are just stuid, but for you to say the things you did about [Mrs McMitty] after what she did for you, rude. She and were right when we talked to [the President], that [committee] was a waste of our time, and I guess we cant think of you as a friend now. Sorry, but just think about what you said, and the way it was put. Rude, but being Scottish, I guess you dont know the difference of being rude is, no wonder it was so easy for the English to take over Scotland! Stuid and rude, oh well I no longer want to be part of [the Society] anymore, nor does [Mrs McMitty], rude, rude rude is what you guys are to us!
Last edited by An Teallach; 16th Feb 2007 at 18:44.
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That said, I regret to inform you that following the Annual Gathering, we made enquiries of the Black Watch and they deny having known you. I presume it was you who made the entry [on Wikipedia for McMitty, SSGT Walter], (537967) Black Watch from IP Address [*****] at 15:02 on 17 Sep 06.
Gents as a visitor from the illustrious world of ARRSE I can help here a little. Yon Walter I gather is a veteran but without a doubt the number is a fraud........That number would have been issued on commisioning from RMA Sandhurst in about 1993/94.
Cerainly noat a SSgt and my Grandfather would turn in his grave at the thought of a SSgt in his beloved Regiment, or what's left of it these days.
Oh and Hello all.
570
Gents as a visitor from the illustrious world of ARRSE I can help here a little. Yon Walter I gather is a veteran but without a doubt the number is a fraud........That number would have been issued on commisioning from RMA Sandhurst in about 1993/94.
Cerainly noat a SSgt and my Grandfather would turn in his grave at the thought of a SSgt in his beloved Regiment, or what's left of it these days.
Oh and Hello all.
570
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Aren't Pipers in the Army, regular Infantrymen, as the Pipes are classed as a weapon of war, as opposed to other Musicians in the services, who carry out a medical role?
Looking at his apparent disappearance from the wiki page but the appearance of a similarly named RN chap, I wonder if it's a coincidence or if the story continues?
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Aren't Pipers in the Army, regular Infantrymen, as the Pipes are classed as a weapon of war, as opposed to other Musicians in the services, who carry out a medical role?
Personally I think bagpipes should be included on the list of cruel and unusual punishments.
Personally I think bagpipes should be included on the list of cruel and unusual punishments.
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I recall a Sqn Ldr who was Noel Coward's (sur)namesake and who similarly came across as terribly, terribly English coming to me gleefully waving a cutting from the Torygraph. There had been a flurry of letters regarding what constitutes a gentleman. Someone had written in with:
A gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipes ... but doesn't!
However, he continued to let me have access to a disused bldg sufficiently far from civilization for me to practice in.
A gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipes ... but doesn't!
However, he continued to let me have access to a disused bldg sufficiently far from civilization for me to practice in.