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The UK/US gap

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Old 22nd Jun 2006, 14:06
  #21 (permalink)  
 
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The one and the same Maple....except for Skippy being a bit anti-establishment there is no "adult" reason to challenge the site that I could see.
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Old 22nd Jun 2006, 14:59
  #22 (permalink)  
 
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I was a fighter jock.
I was a warrior who needed Ray Bans to look even cooler.
I would not admit to being a member of a team, only its leader.
If I was not leading the team it was no wonder things went pear-shaped - the boss should have let me lead it in the first place.
I served my squadron always, except on weekends.
I would always place the mission first, unless it was QRA when I would place the junior pilot first.
I would never quit trying to get out of night-flying.
I would never leave a fallen comrade if his car was the only lift back from the pub.
I flew single-seaters because I could not be trusted with the life of another aviator.
Consequently, I would not admit my mistakes but would always blame my wingman.
So it was he who failed to spot the bogey in his 6 o’clock, who engaged the Royal Flight by mistake and who recovered us to the wrong airfield.
I flew two-seaters because I could not be trusted with my own life and had to be monitored.
Consequently, I would not admit my mistakes but would always blame my navigator.
So it was he who misread the fuel gauge, who forgot to select Master Arm to Arm and who scraped the stabilator on landing.
I would never accept defeat, knowing that whoever shouted loudest at the debrief would win regardless of the evidence.
I was an expert and a professional, far too important to have been looking after the coffee bar or fish tank.
I stood ready to engage and destroy anyone who suggested that I should enrol in ISS.
I was a guardian of flying pay and the duty-free way of life.
I was a fighter jock.
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Old 22nd Jun 2006, 18:01
  #23 (permalink)  
 
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I am a truckie nav
I sit in the corner
I smell of wee
I heard KFC are recruiting
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Old 22nd Jun 2006, 19:51
  #24 (permalink)  
 
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I am a KCL Lecturer
I am an academic
I am an expert in my field
I shall always lecture to members of the Armed Forces and I live to learn
I shall always steer the discussion towards my specialist subject
I will never admit defeat when engaged in debate with mere mortals
I will never walk away from an opportunity to demonstrate my academic superiority to students
I will always refer to my books, update my latest thesis and publish my latest paper
I am an expert in my chosen field
I am a KCL Lecturer
The Unknown Stuntman is offline  
Old 22nd Jun 2006, 21:38
  #25 (permalink)  
 
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I am a KCL Lecturer
I am an academic
I am an expert in my field
I shall always lecture to members of the Armed Forces and I live to learn
I shall always steer the discussion towards my specialist subject
I will never admit defeat when engaged in debate with mere mortals
I will never walk away from an opportunity to demonstrate my academic superiority to students
I will always refer to my books, update my latest thesis and publish my latest paper
I am an expert in my chosen field
I am a KCL Lecturer
You poor poor individual. You have obviously suffered at the hands of the indoctrination squad . Go and have a good stiff drink, followed by a few more, watch some warry videos (just to remind you what things are really like, not what KCL think they are like) and go and lie down in a darkened room. If you still feel bad after half an hour or so, put the big heavy book down, break out the porn.

Most importantly, don't worry, it is curable!
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Old 22nd Jun 2006, 22:42
  #26 (permalink)  
 
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Danger

I am a cmn:

I'm jack of all trades but master of non.
I'm always wrong, as obviously, the pilot is always right.
I'm always to blame when things go wrong.
I'm always on the "Lower Band".
I will always carry the bags to the ac............yeh right.
I could have worked harder at school............ probably.
I don't get a vote because I've got no stick....oh really.
I'm always the one who services the cab, because the pilots suddenly take an interest in the Met.
I'm not a scopey geek!
I always have a chauffer!!
I will not be patronised without retribution.
I always get the job done!

And.... I could be the last!
Could be the last? is offline  
Old 22nd Jun 2006, 22:57
  #27 (permalink)  
 
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I am a Nimrod R1 crew member.
I can see into your soul.
I can re-programme your SIM card from 40,000ft.
I can re-tune your DAB radio to BBC7 at will.
I can receive radio signals from DC to light.
I can crack any code known to man.
But I'm so highly classified, I don't exist.
ACW599 is offline  
Old 23rd Jun 2006, 00:27
  #28 (permalink)  
JetBlast member 2005.
JetBlast member 2006.
Banned 2007
 
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I am a manager in an American corporation
I am an absolutely useless tw@t
All I do is get in the way
I have no skills
So I make up for that by creating layer upon layer of bull****
I am a tw@t
I use words and phrases that have no meaning
because I am a tw@t
I lick the arse of the next layer above me
and I would sell out my grandmother to join them
Because I am a tw@t
I am useless
I serve no purpose
In fact I'm probably employed by a competitor
Because all I do is get in the way
I resent people with skills who can actually contribute something
So I dedicate my self to thir destruction
Did I mention that I am a useless tw@t?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! is offline  
Old 23rd Jun 2006, 15:38
  #29 (permalink)  
 
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I am an Islander pilot.
No I'm not.
What Islander?
What's an Islander?
Northolt? Never heard of it.
I'm not really a pilot anyway.
I know nothing.
Nothing.
ACW599 is offline  
Old 23rd Jun 2006, 17:27
  #30 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by The Unknown Stuntman
I am a KCL Lecturer
I am an academic
I am an expert in my field
I shall always lecture to members of the Armed Forces and I live to learn
I shall always steer the discussion towards my specialist subject
I will never admit defeat when engaged in debate with mere mortals
I will never walk away from an opportunity to demonstrate my academic superiority to students
I will always refer to my books, update my latest thesis and publish my latest paper
I am an expert in my chosen field
I am a KCL Lecturer
Mmmmm. I wonder to which of my colleagues you are referring....?


(Can't be me since the words 'expert' and 'publish' have been used...).
Archimedes is offline  
Old 23rd Jun 2006, 17:45
  #31 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 1999
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I am a dumb A-10 pilot.
I bombed Warriors in GW1.
An' some Canadians some other time...
My F-15 buddies wasted a couple of Blackhawks when there wasn't even a war on.
An' my navy wasted an Iraq...err, Iroquoi...err, Iranian Airbus
I will never accept I f*cked up.

Last edited by BEagle; 23rd Jun 2006 at 18:06.
BEagle is online now  
Old 23rd Jun 2006, 18:30
  #32 (permalink)  
 
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Location: Darling - where are we?
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I am a stacker.
I am an expert at screwing people around.
The only urgent requirement is when do I get my next fag break.
The last operation I went on was to cure my ingrowing toe nail.
Before you ask, the answer is no.
I am a stacker.
Melchett01 is offline  
Old 23rd Jun 2006, 21:18
  #33 (permalink)  
 
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I am the CO
I only have one rule, I am always right.
I am the CO
clicker is offline  
Old 23rd Jun 2006, 22:43
  #34 (permalink)  
brickhistory
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Originally Posted by BEagle
I am a dumb A-10 pilot.
I bombed Warriors in GW1.
An' some Canadians some other time...
My F-15 buddies wasted a couple of Blackhawks when there wasn't even a war on.
An' my navy wasted an Iraq...err, Iroquoi...err, Iranian Airbus
I will never accept I f*cked up.
Insert after the F-15/Blackhawk line:

"And I will let the poor dumb controller face the court-martial while I'm doing fine."

So no RAF guy with his fangs out has ever made a mistake?
I don't defend the 'friendly fire' events here, but it does happen and I don't believe can ever be eliminated.
 
Old 23rd Jun 2006, 23:17
  #35 (permalink)  
 
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I am an Ape
I live on a rock
I will steal ice creams from children
I am a rockape
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Old 23rd Jun 2006, 23:28
  #36 (permalink)  
 
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i am a plane watcher
iam a high school student
iam a plane lover
iam a dreamer
iam a broke guy
iam a loving guy
iam a bad guy
iam a good guy
iam a fast runner
iam a jet engine lover
i live for the sky

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Am.. wanna be pilot
Hamil000 is offline  
Old 24th Jun 2006, 03:21
  #37 (permalink)  
JetBlast member 2005.
JetBlast member 2006.
Banned 2007
 
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you forgot "I already have a big watch"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! is offline  
Old 24th Jun 2006, 06:34
  #38 (permalink)  
 
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Location: Umm, where did I put the Garmin?
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I am a British Serviceman.

I watch Ministers place private perks on public expenses, while I have to deal with LEAN.

I serve the people of the United Kingdom and not President of the United States.

I will always place the Missus first.

I will never accept defeat. I was NOT speeding Corporal, so **** off.

I will never quit. I will however, PVR ASAP.

I will never leave a fallen comrade. I will kick him and tell the drunken sod to get back up.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills... Which is more than can be said of my superiors.

I am expected to perform my job with second rate equipment procured at twice it's true value, so the minister has an nice executive job at a defence contractor after he's sacked for sleaze.

I am an expert and I am a professional, but I am not payed like it.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy enemies on the whim of a muppet, safely tucked behind a desk 3000 miles away.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life. Gas is 3 dollars a gallon.

I am a British Serviceman.
Rakshasa is offline  
Old 24th Jun 2006, 06:42
  #39 (permalink)  
 
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I am a British serviceman

I have... to log off. They're taking my computer.

Cutbacks.
harrogate is offline  
Old 24th Jun 2006, 09:57
  #40 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 458
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I am a British Serviceman.

I can't log on. The computer is crap.

Progress.
Jobza Guddun is offline  


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